Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Well, I don't really know what to do in this situation. Why this story is being shared, is beyond my logic. How this all happened can be explained, just trust me. Although It seems as though this would all turn out just fine, safe and sound we'll all be, I'm not a believer. Freedom is something rare in these lands, only the luckiest in the lucky will obtain. You'd think my hopes would be at least trying to be high, for that small chance of freedom throughout the lands, but no. Gosh, I'm positive that luck will not come to me; if so, it'll be bad. "The Leader will fall, and a good and well deserved humanity will be throughout the lands!" they would say. I don't want to be rude, but... Whoever says that is plain STUPID. Yeah, whatever, can't help myself with anger, no one asked you reader. You don't even have anything to do with what I write, unless you... e-erase.. wha-at... i-i put... Well, but you wouldn't, right? By the way, I'm sort of rushing to jot this down because the death chamber session is in 20 minutes. Wish me luck making it out alive...
After 20 minutes of blabbering about random subjects...
...and that is why they prefer goats to donkeys in these lands. Shit, they just announced the death chamber session. Goodbye life! No! They're attempting at taking you, Diary, away! You are my role-model! You can't go! Your a god damn book, what did you do to them? They have no right to take you away, You're mine, just mine, only mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, and MINE! They finally let me keep you for the Death Session! Yay! I convinced them, but they will never understand life. I mean, no one in Hamville will ever understand life, because no one has experienced it. Except for Obi-Wan Kenobi, over there. He has, but he moved to Hamville because he was hungry for ham. Although, I highly doubt this terror was at all what he was anticipating when he moved here. Okay, we finally arrived at the Goozim trying to eat us... while surrounded by lava. Man, this is going to be fun.
Crap, Goozim trying to write stuff in my journal. I'm going to erase that. Now there's a big gaping hole between the last paragraph and this one. Wait, that's it! Gaping Hole! I'll send the Goozim into the gaping hole of lava. I just need bait. I'll use Fredrick, my old best friend. He's complaining and asking me to put him down. I'm thinking about it, and then I decide that there could be a better idea, without getting Fredrick killed. What the leader did not comprehend, is that the rope tied between me and the Goozim, because they know I'm capable of escaping. They're plan was to make it around 30 times more difficult to escape. However, if I suicide then the Goozim dies too. Although that's not my plan, that would work, except for the part that my friends are left alone. My plan is to pretend to suicide, but hold on just above the lava. The Goozim will be attracted down by the rope, and fall into the lava, breaking the rope, and killing the Goozim. My plan works even better than anticipated, and I discover a lair under the island. It is able to go under the lava, into the main operating room, so the leader could fall, If I'm able to be lucky enough. But as stated before, luck, i'm not a believer.I approach the main operating room. I shiver as I do, because no good guy has ever been inside the main operating room; not even Obi-Wan Kenobi. I shiver harder than before as I turn the door knob. As I open the door slowly, a creaking sound is made. I peek inside. It looks as though the creaking sound was unheard, or they mistook it as the vents. I'm shaking even harder than previously as I tip-toe behind the Cameramen. Luckily enough, the current room their in is not even have a camera. What good Luck. I believe my scribbling is heard, as they yell at me for noticing. I run the rest of the way to the Self-Destruct Button. They are faster, due to my hands being full and me scribbling faster than the speed a cheetah goes. If I write slowly, there won't be time for my legend to be complete in the books. As they get in front of me and leap at me I do a frontflip that puts me a slight head of them. When one is dead in front of me, I do not give up. Giving up is for the weak, the scared, the wimp. None of those traits would describe me, so giving up is one of the least likely things to happen on my agenda. I slide deep beneath their legs, pushing the Self-Destruct button with my feet. Let My Legend be told. I did never plan on making out of this mission as a survivor. Meaning so, I threw my diary far enough away so the explosion has no impact on it, and the legend being true. I'll throw it farther and farther.Okay, it blew up, and I'm done with throwing, and considering I'm still writing, I'd say i'm still alive. Damn, now i'm going to have a bunch of fangirls.THE END!
