Chapter 22, Vow to Watch and Betray
[BY BLAKE BOWMEN]
Amber is... beautiful.
In another life, at another time, I could’ve been the one to stand at that dais waiting for her... If life wasn’t so complicated and happy endings were guaranteed like in the movies... If I wasn’t such a bad person, a liar and the brother of her enemy.
Instead, I’m only watching her walk down the aisle. I’m a spectator.
The officiant starts the wedding, but I don’t listen to his words. I can only watch the girl I’m in love with stare at a guy I’m not even supposed to hate... Xavier isn’t a bad person. Neither is Amber... But... quite recently I learned that good people can still do bad things.
Not me though.
I’m not even a good person. I’m just Blake, the betrayer, watching with hate as the girl I can never have is having the happiest moment of her life. I should be glad for her... I should be relieved that the girl I love is happy, however brief. I know Owen is, but Owen has always been better than me...
I’m done apologizing for the man I am. I’m a liar, a betrayer and honestly, a coward. There’s no need for me to pretend anymore. After last night, I knew my choice and accepted it. Amber’s own decisions has confirmed the difficult choice I made. At the end of the day, it came down to her actions leading up to this moment. Today, I will follow through. I will unapologetically go down in history as Blake, the betrayer. Why? All because I love my family. I cannot forget the memories we made before the world turned to shit. And of course, Amber herself. I learned a painful truth about that girl.
Silently, I watch Xavier and Amber start their vows and knowing my brother is close, I start to make my own vows before I throw everything I built, away. I vow to watch and betray. To be the devil I was always meant to be.
The golden girl died a long time ago. I haven’t seen her in ages. What does it matter if today is the last day my eyes will fall upon her replacement?