I Don't Deserve To Be Loved

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This book content character that is intersex (futanari). If you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry. Sophia Clarke, a 24-year-old Single Mother who was divorced by her husband. He abandons his only kid, Sabrina and let Sophia care for their child alone. Sophia decided to move in with her little sister after her ex Husband, Brian threw her out of their house. Newly single Sophia makes use of her finance degree and decided to take her friend's suggestion to get herself an interview in a multi-billion company to support her 3-year-old daughter. Everything was perfect when a certain high profile woman got a glimpse of her beauty and will not stop to make Sophia hers. Charlie Avilia, a 23-year-old CEO of Avilia Corporation, the largest aviation industry in the world. She inherited her parent's wealth and businesses after a tragic accident that killed them. She was only 12 years old and was taken care of by her older sister, Andrea. She was known for her wild antics and party animal behaviour. She's also famous for her high profile dating history with any female she thinks is beautiful. One day, like any other working day, her eyes landed on a beauty. A beauty that made her heart race. A vision that changes her way of thinking about life. But how will Sophia react to Charlie's secret?

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Chapter 1


“Ready?” My little Sister, Carmela asked me. I looked at myself at the mirror again. “Yea. Are you sure you can babysit Sabrina today?” “Sure sis. Just nail the interview.” I smiled. “Remember! You’re future employer is a very.... Well..... Good luck.” I tilted my head. “What?” Carmela smiled. “Good luck sis. With that outfit, I think you’re going to nail it.” I turned to look at the mirror again.

I decided to put my Long auburn hair in a neat bun. A Friend from university told me about an opening in the finance department in a multinational aviation maintenance company. Since I want this job desperately, I decided to be extra...... Sophisticated? I turned my body and examine my looks. Black suit pants and white dress shirt, just about right make up and some eyeshadow to compliment my green orbs. Perfection!

“Charlie Avilia’s wild parties went out of hand when a police officer escorted her out of a famous club!”

“Another useless morning news.” I said and turn off the TV with the remote. After I feel satisfy with my looks, I went to my baby’s room and kiss her for good luck.“Mommy going to find a job sweetheart. Be nice to your aunt Carmela.” I said to my sleeping angel. I caressed her cheeks and just watch this beautiful angel. I smiled. Thank God that bastard didn’t took her away from me. I closed the door slowly not to wake her up. She’s the only reason I’m still holding on. I walked towards the kitchen counter where Carmela was making breakfast.

I moved in to her house after Brian threw Me out. That Son of a bitch decided to marry another younger and sexier woman after I had Sabrina. His reason, my junk is not fit enough for him anymore. What kind of man do that to a woman! I truly regret marrying him. We had been together for years, since high school, through university and we ended marrying each other. Not even once I noticed his flaws. He always so nice and he was perfect for me. Now I know the phrase no one is perfect does exist.

“Nervous?” I looked up to see my sisters warmed smile. “A little bit.” I never even had any experience being interview because right after getting my degree, I ended up marrying a jerk. “Don’t worry. With your degree and looks, only blind people won’t hire you and your’re basically a genius!” I stood to give my Sister a hug. “I needed that Mel. Thanks” my Sister patted my back. “Your welcome. What are sisters for right.” I pulled away and sit back again.

I had my breakfast and walked towards Carmela’s car. I don’t know what I will do without her in my life. I started the car and drive to Avilia Corporation, the place that maybe held my future.......


“THE FUCK CHARLIE!” I woke up with a throbbing headache and my Sister screaming at me. “Shut the fuck up bitch.” I said and pulled the comforter up my head. I could hear her heels clicking hard on the wooden floor. She pulled the comforter and threw it on the floor. “GET THE FUCK UP! I NEVER DREAM OF SEEING MY LITTLE SISTER BEING DRAGGED OUT OF A CLUB BY A POLICE!” I opened my eyes and instantly a bright light hit me.

“Shut the fucking curtains. Andrea, there’s always a first time for everything.” I could feel she sat on my bed. “Char, what did I do to make you act like this? Did I do something wrong? Did I raised you badly?” Oh God! She’s doing the blaming herself thing. I try to sit up. Andrea noticed my struggled and she helped me. “Look. I’m 23. You’re married and your Husband and kids need you. I’m fine alone and I’m absolutely don’t need all the yelling. And it’s not your fault. You raised me to be amazing in my line of work that you threw at my face to handle alone.” I chuckled. “But seriously, it’s not your fault.” I reached out to hug her.

“It’s not fine when the police called me at 3 AM.” I laughed. “That’s a record! Usually it’s 4 or 5 AM.” Andrea pulled away and hit me. “If i received anymore complaints I will marry you off. And I’m not even kidding.” Hell no! I’m too young for a commitment. “No way bitch. There’s no way I’m letting you control my love life. And aren’t you suppose to be somewhere that is not here.” “Nope. Christian said he’s going to send the kids himself.” I nodded. “How is my nieces. How’s Marsha and Misha?” Andrea stood up.

“Marsha said she’s going to tryout for cheerleading squad. Misha, she’s practicing hard for her play next week. And you promise her you will come and watch her! Don’t forget!” I raised my hands. “I know I know. Chill. Just remember to call me or whatever.” Andrea sighed. “I’m serious Char. You don’t want a 13 year old girl banging on your door and hit you repeatedly.” I remember the last time she did that. My face bruised for weeks.

“Why do you even let her in a martial art team?!” “My Husband said its a good exercise for her.” I sighed and stood up to go to the bathroom. Andrea followed. “How’s life?” I asked her while brushing my teeth. “Good I Guess. How’s yours?“”I have a very amazing social life.” Andrea scoffed. “Yeah when I came in the house, a woman walked passed me half naked.” I smiled proudly. I started to stripped and took a shower in front of my sister.

“You seriously need to cover those bruises.” I looked down at my chest area and smiled. Man I do have a good night last night. “Nah. It’s fine.” Andrea sighed. “I’ll be waiting downstairs at the dining table.” “Kay...” I said and washed my body and hair. After that I blow my dark brown hair to dry it up. I put on a little make up and choose a casual attire. It is my company and I don’t care what I’m wearing as Long I’m there. I feel satisfy and walked out of my room.

My head still throbbing from last nights event. It’s my birthday and it’s essential to have a wild party. I made my way to the dining table and seat at my usual seat, at the head of the table.
After Andrea decided to marry her Husband who is a lawyer, she begged me to handle the family’s business because Christian want her to be a housewife. I mean come on! What’s the point of having a business degree if you’re going to be a housewife?! But I respect her decision and agreed to be the head of Avilia Corporation.

I may be young but I am one of the worlds youngest businesswoman who managed to handle a multinational company. Everyone have its own flaw and mine is being alcoholic and party animal. There’s always pros and cons about everything I do. And at some point I just let people say whatever they want about me. “Miss. Today you have meeting with our head branch from Dubai.” My personal assistant slash best friend, Ellie said to me. “That’s all?” She checked her iPad. “Abby fired her assistant.” “Why?” “He.... Swindle some of the company’s income.” I coughed out my morning tea.

“What?! How much?!” Ellie sighed. “$50k.” Oh that’s all? “She need to fine a good assistant.” Ellie nodded. I looked at the wall clocked and sighed. “Ellie, my coat is in the office right?” Ellie nodded. “Let’s go.” “WAIT!” Andrea called out. “Here.” She handed me a gift. “Happy birthday.” She smiled. I laughed. “Thank you. Love you!” “Love you two. Be good!” I turned to walked to the front door. “Ask the maids to clean my room and take care of my laundry!” I shouted.

I waited for Ellie to get the car. I checked my phone and there’s a few of my Friend wishing me happy birthday. I texted them all back saying my thank you and Ellie stopped in front of me in my sleek red Ferrari. I opened the door and got inside. Ellie smiled and step on the Accelerator. I played some music and enjoyed the ride before I have to be a boss......


Sophia parked her car and locked the door. She was nervous, anxious and scared all at the same time. She was confident before but after seeing how huge and intimidating people all around her, she having second thoughts. The only person who keep her sane is her little Sabrina. She look through her Friend text and it says her interview will be at 10 am. This building even have its own cafeteria. Sophia look at her wrist watch and it’s only 9.30. She decided to buy a coffee and wait for her turn.

Charlie was just pulling up in front of her building. The valet opened the car door for her and got out. She waited for Ellie and checked her phone again. There’s a text from her on and off Girlfriend and now she’s asking to break up again because she want to marry a guy. Charlie smiled and thanking the God for his merciful. That girl was a messed! “I need to grabbed a coffee. Today will be a Long day.” Ellie nodded and followed Charlie to the cafeteria. Everyone greeted her.

Some fake a smile, some even smiled and talk behind her back. For some workers, Charlie is a mean boss who always get what she want. For some she’s an angel who have a good heart. Charlie smiled at the barrister and winked. “Can I get my usual Florence?” Florence nodded and blushed. “Thank you doll face.” Charlie is also well known for her flirting side. They all well known she’s not fond of any guys. Just woman. Florence prepared her usual coffee and smiled. “Here you go miss.” Charlie winked and smiled. She put in a $100 note and walked away towards the elevator.

Sophia was about to stand up when Charlie accidentally spilled her hot coffee onto Sophia’s dress shirt and stained it all. “Oh shit! I’m really sorry!” Charlie immediately apologise. Sophia gasped and trying hard not to screamed the pain she felt when the hot coffee made contact with her skin. “Well now I blew it. It’s fine miss. I should be careful myself.” “I’m really sorry miss. I feel bad.” Sophia waved her off. “It’s okay.” She looked at her wrist watch.

“I have to go to an interview I’m sure I’ll fail.” She was about to walked off but stop and turned around. “Miss, what floor is the finance department.” Charlie raised her eyebrows and smiled. “Walk towards the main lobby to the elevator, fifth floor.” Sophia smiled and bid her goodbyes. Charlie watched as Sophia’s body disappeared in the hundreds of people in the lobby. She turned to meet Ellie. “Let’s go. And I want you to call Abby when we’re inside my office.” Ellie nodded.

They both walked towards the private elevators that only the Avilia’s and their associate can use. Ellie pressed the 20th floor and waited patiently. A ‘ding’ and the door opened. The whole floor consist of play room, meeting room and even a little cafe with the finest Chef. It’s what Charlie called her ‘apartment’ only certain people she granted to be in her office floor and that’s family, friends and Girlfriend. ONLY.

“Abby in line 3.” Charlie nodded and put Abby on loudspeaker. “Hello?” “It’s Charlie.” “I know Char. What you want? I have a lot of people to interview.” Charlie smirked. “About that. I want you to hire a woman wearing a white dress shirt and black pants. She have Long auburn hair and the boom factor, she have a huge coffee stained on her dress shirt. Hire her.” Abby smiled. “Is this one of your crushes?” “No. Just I feel bad. Beside, I took a glance on her resume. She’s a graduates from UCLA.” Abby sighed. She know better than saying no to her boss.

“Fine.” “Oh and Abby, I want to see the interview. Turn on the webcam and speakers.” Abby sighed again and do as told. Every manager and head of department have their own spy cam installed by Charlie’s request. “Call her and throw everyone out. Focus the cam on her resume.” “Alright boss.” Abby said and stand up, walking towards her door and searched the waiting area for a woman with coffee stained dress shirt. Her eyes landed on a auburn hair woman that look like she’s about to cry any second.

“You, the one with the coffee stained. I want you.” Abby said and walked in her office again. She pushed on the button. “Throw everyone out.” Sophia feel like she’s about to burst and to her surprised the interviewer call for her. She took a deep breath and walked in the office. She look around and its breath taking. Is everything in this building look like a palace?!

“Please have a seat.” Sophia smiled and sit. “Resume please.” Sophia handed it. Abby adjust the cam that was attached to her computer. Charlie looked closely on the widescreen she have inside her office. “Sophia Clarke. Nice name.” Charlie said under her breath. Abby smiled at Sophia. “Tell me about yourself.” Sophia took a deep breath. “My name is Sophia, I’m 24 years old. Graduated from high school early and continued with finance degree in UCLA. I have a 3 year old Daughter and I am divorced.” Sophia finished.

“Such young age. How do you know there’s an opening here?” “My Friend, Zack told me about it.” Abby furrowed her eyebrows. “Zack? Zack Jones?” Sophia nodded. “He’s my Brother.” Sophia’s eye widen. She never know her gay Friend is from rich people category. “You’re hired. Your starting salary will be........” *ping* Abby looked at her new IM on the computer. Her eyes widen when Charlie wrote ‘$10,000’. She cleared her throat. “$10k.” Sophia choked on her own saliva. “Seriously?” “Apparently so.” Abby smiled and stand up. Sophia followed her gesture. Abby offered her hand and Sophia shook it.

“You will start tomorrow...” *ping*.... Abby look at the IM again. She’s trying hard not to sighed. She smiled. “And a person named Ellie will lead you to your office tomorrow. Please be on time and make sure to be ahead of everyone . This company will not tolerate failure or bad behaviour and attitude.” Sophia nodded her head to show she understand all the rules. Abby smiled.

“Welcome to Avilia Corporation.“..........



I smiled. Ellie sighed. “What is wrong with you?” I shrugged my shoulder. “$10k?! That even more than my salary.” “Do you have a Husband?” “No.” “Do you have kid?” Again. “No.” I type something on my computer and said “Why do I have to give more salary than you need? Beside you received more money in a month from you’re parents.” Ellie don’t know what to say. “And Sophia clearly need to get on her feet back.” Ellie give up. “Oh and Ellie, please hire a private investigator and searched for her background. I need to know about her life.” Ellie nodded and walked out of the room.

*ring ring ring*

I rolled her eyes. I pressed the call button and put on speaker. “What?!” I really hate this call. I truly despise this man. “Hello Charlie....” A deep Russian accent man came through my speaker. “Yes Yuri. What do you want?” I said through gritted teeth. “Just wanted to make sure you will accept my offer to sell half of your stocks. And you know I will tell everyone your little secret if you don’t.” I slammed my hands on the table.

“Look you bastard! I don’t care if the whole world know I’m Woman who have a penis! So shut the fuck up!” I pick up the phone and slammed it hard until it breaks. Ellie walked in. “Yuri?” I nodded. “I’ll get the hot tea.” I repeatedly slammed my hands on the table to released my stress. Even my past Girlfriend didn’t care for my imperfection. Why should I listen to this bastard!

I was born with two gender. Andrea explained it to me when I have my first..... ‘Erection’ I thought I was a male but then my breast start to showed when I was 12. By then I mostly spend the day back and forth to the hospital. By the age of 19, Andrea requested for me to
Check which steroid took dominance in my body. It turns out testosterone is dominance in my body. So I have a female figure but a male inside. I can’t be label. I can be a she or a he. I answer to both.

My dating life, for the first time, they all have the same reaction. Either called me weirdo or the best of both world. In the end they ended dating me because of my billions. I never had a serious relationship. It all based of sex and money. No one own my heart. But I have to rethink my motto of life. Sophia clearly caught my attention. Her beauty, her kind gesture, how she handle any situation when I accidentally spilled the coffee. It showed me how calm she is.

Now that I know her Husband divorced her, I know she’s strong. She can keep a calm and smiling face even her world crashing down. I want to know her better. I want to...... love her......

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