Smoke

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Chapter Thirty-Six

For the rest of the day we spend it in the house together as Ollie crawls about in the lounge, Lila was right, the fun had begun…He got everywhere and anywhere!

Craig kept watching me warily like I was going to snap at any moment, and honestly it was getting on my nerves, he watched my every movement, sitting close by.

It was nearly dinner time and Travis had got a call off of Michael and was meeting up with him for a quick chat as they sat in the office with Nathan and Lila. Lydia was upstairs with Hayley and Ollie putting him down for a nap for me.

“Will you quit watching me like I’m going to explode” I snap at Craig.

“Hard not to when we had no idea that you had gotten this bad. You punched me Kat! What if one of the kids was beside you?” He snaps back.

“I don’t know how but my brain seems to know if the kids are around. I’ve never had an attack around Ollie. I’m never alone Craig, Nathan wouldn’t let that happen anyway” I sigh.

“You were with Hayley and Ollie earlier on your own…” He grumbles.

“I would never hurt those kids! I love them!” I shout angrily as he stands in front of me.

“You love Nathan and yet you’ve hurt him. Who’s next? You got me…What if you did it to Lydia?” He growls.

“I…I don’t want to…I don’t like this as much as you. I’m doing my best Craig. I’m trying to get more help” my voice wobbles.

“You should have done it sooner” He snaps.

“Get out” I mumble.

“Not a chance” He growls.

“GET OUT!” I shout.

“I will not leave when my sister and niece are here around you while you break down as bad as you have. I watched our father do the same thing! He had a mental breakdown and nearly killed us all! I won’t watch you do the same!” Craig shouts as I step back.

“You think I want this?! You think I want to hurt any of you! I love all of you, including YOU. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I can’t stand that he’s in my head, he’s fucking dead and I can’t get it out…I can’t get it out my head Craig…I can’t. Every kill I’ve ever made, every gun shot, everything that Luke made me do, it’s all in there and it won’t get out. The only thing keeping me the slightest bit sane is my friends and family, don’t take that away from me” I cry.

“What the fuck is going on?” Nathan storms into the room as he sees me crying.

“I…Fuck Kat…I’m sorry…Nathan I might have just fucked up” Craig sighs as I’m falling to the ground.

“Did you set her off?” Nathan growls as he holds me tight in his arms so I can’t punch out as my panic attack rises.

“I’m sorry…Shit Kat…Come on, snap out of this, you can do it” Craig murmurs as he kneels beside us.

Billy…Luke…Oliver…Glass…The car…Blood, so much blood…

“Get out my head!” I scream, my fists clench as Nathan holds me tighter.

“Katrina, this is Michael, I need you to concentrate on the now, I need you to concentrate on how you feel with your family, the joy with your little boy, the happiness of being with someone you love, use it, push out the bad and replace it with the good. Concentrate, you are in a safe place Katrina” A new deep voice calls out in my head as I try to do as they say.

“Safe place…Ollie…Family…Benji…no he’s gone…BENJI!” I scream.

“Kat!” I hear Lydia call out in a panic as I feel lips crush mine. I focus on them as I kiss back slowly and come out from my panic attack.

“That’s it, come back to me Kat” Lydia murmurs as our foreheads touch and I open my eyes.

“Interesting, physical contact seems to work…Concentrating on feelings seems to help and yet the mind wanders a little…” The new face says, he’s an older man, maybe 58, short silver hair, fairly good looking, tall and suited.

“Think you can help her?” Travis mumbles.

“Definitely” He nods.

“Kat? You with us?” Lydia mumbles.

“Yeah, I’m here. Nathan, let me go” I say as he kisses my head and slowly releases me.

“Hello Katrina, my name is Michael Davis and I’ll be helping you get back to normal” Michael holds out a hand to shake as I give him a small smile as Lydia pulls me to her and wraps her arms around me.

“Me and you need to have a little chat Craig” My brother growls.

“Nath don’t…He was just worried for his family” I sigh as Lydia kisses my cheek before I rest my head against her shoulder, I felt exhausted after the attacks.

“No, I was out of line, I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I’m sorry Kat.” Craig apologises as I take his hand and squeeze it reassuringly.

“If you like we can make a start tomorrow with working on your therapy. I’ve already seen enough, and Travis has told me a lot which helps, I think I can help you quite quickly actually. You have a stable family base already who want what’s best for you, whereas a lot of other patients do not. Plus, I can see you want to help yourself, which also helps” Michael says.

“Thank you, that would be great” I say as a yawn erupts.

“Thanks Doc, I think we need to get her some food and then get her to bed so she can come to you with a little more energy though” Nathan laughs.

“I agree. Make sure she’s not alone tonight if she’s having trouble with sleep. But I think you have that handled. Good bye and I’ll see you tomorrow Katrina” Michael says as he nods to the others and Travis follows him to see him out.

“I gotta take this” Craig sighs as his phone rings as Lydia watches him with confusion.

“Craig who is it?” She asks.

“Connor” he answers, and she sighs, nodding.

“What’s going on with Connor?” I ask.

“Don’t worry about it” Lydia says.

“I’m going to start some dinner” Lila perks up.

“Guys…What’s going on with Connor?” I ask again.

“Nothing” Nathan repeats as I get out of Lydia’s arms and head towards Craig.

“No she doesn’t know…I’m not telling her!...It will destroy her!...Connor if Kat finds out that we didn’t get them all it will push her over the edge, she’s already a mess!” Craig shouts outside as I stand close by listening.

“Connor, I can’t, it will destroy her... How can you want to tell her that there are men still coming after her after everything with Billy?... I know she’s trained… But…Oh shit…” Craig turns and finds me standing behind him.

“Give me the phone” I order as he slowly hands me his phone.

“Connor it’s Kat, tell me right now what’s going on” I order.

“Kat, I’m sorry, I should have come seen you sooner, but I have been after Billy’s men. There’s at least four guys still out there looking to take you down and I am struggling right now to get close to them. They were part of Luke’s gang, original members. I need your help…I know you’re having issues right now and I swear I will make sure you’re getting the help you need too but I really need your help” Connor sighs.

“What do you need me to do?” I ask as Craig looks at me with shock and disbelief.

“Don’t you fucking dare Katrina” He growls.

“I need you to go back to how you was with Luke…Think like him, where would his guys hold up? How do they hit?” Connor says as I sigh.

“It took me time to get rid of that side of me Connor… If I go back to it, you gotta make sure I get back out…that headspace wasn’t healthy.” I said.

“I’ll do everything I can” He answers.

“I’ll call you back soon, I need to do something first” I sigh.

“Ok” he says as we hang up and I toss Craig his phone back.

“You are going to get yourself killed!” Craig exclaims.

“Do you know why I think I’m having issues in my head…there’s no ending to this. Guys are coming out to get me and I was sitting back like a little bitch! That’s not me! I’m a fighter Craig and I had no fight in me! I’ve got to do this. There must have been a reason my father risked MY life betting with it. I can do this I can help Connor finish this!”

“If you carry on, it will never end. Trust me, it doesn’t end. I’ve been in Connor’s gang for years now and it doesn’t stop. One after another, they come after you. Don’t start something we can’t finish”

“It’s already started, you once thought I was a badass for how I was, you wanted me in the gang, what changed?” I ask.

“I got to know you. I got to see how amazing you were, you’re like a sister me Kat and I don’t want you to die!”

“I’m not going to die, not if I have help and Connor will help me. Will you?” I ask.

“You’re not going to stop are you, even if I say no”

“No, I’m doing this with or without you” I shake my head.

“Fine. I’ll help you” He huffs and hugs me.

“Now I have to go tell THEM what I’m doing…” I groan.

“Nathan won’t have it…Lydia will resist but ultimately gang life is normal to her…Travis…I don’t know…”

“Better get this over with”

“Where are you going?” Craig asks as I head upstairs.

“I need to get changed quickly” I answer as I shoot upstairs and get changed into a fitted pair of black jeans, red crop top and my old gang leather jacket that Luke had made. Oliver had taken Luke’s name off of it and replaced it with his own, so I kept it close to me always.

I slipped it back on and looked in the mirror as something seemed to switch in my eyes.

“You’ve got this Kat” I murmur to myself as I go into the back of the wardrobe to a locked boxed as I open it and grab my gun, tucking it in the holster in my jacket.

I slowly make my way downstairs as I ready myself for my brother’s rage.

“Why the fuck are you wearing that?” Nathan growls as I’m at the bottom of the stairs.

“Connor needs my help” I sigh.

“No…Not happening…No Katrina! We just got you back! You’re not mentally fit and you want to fuck yourself up more!” He shouts as Travis and the others begin to walk into the corridor.

“Nathan, I’ll keep an eye on her” Craig mumbles.

“You knew! You agree with this!” Nathan shouts.

“Kat think about this…” Travis says.

“I am…Four guys from Luke’s original gang are after me…Only I know how they operate. I can help Connor take them down. I hate to say it, but this is my life now…I’m not the girl I was anymore. I think this might help me get the closure I need…” I say.

“What about the therapy?” Lila asks.

“I’ll go as much as I can too” I say.

“What about Ollie?!” Nathan shouts.

“I’m not disappearing Nathan I will be back. Luke was local so I’m sure they are holed up somewhere close. Ollie will be safe with family and I will come home every day to him and you guys. I’m not Connor, it’s not my gang, I’m not tied up in everything he does. I have one aim, get rid of these fuckers”

“I’ll be with her too. She’ll get home” Craig says.

“I don’t like this, but I get it…Kat promise me you will always come home…Keep coming home to us” Lydia walks up to me taking my head in her hands.

“Lydia, I promise I will always come home to you. I love you, all of you.” I say searching her face.

“You better or I’m going to kick your ass Kat” Lydia smirks and kisses me.

“I’m doing this with you” Nathan mutters.

“You sure?” I raise a brow as Lydia cuddles up to my side.

“Siblings stick together, this is Dad’s fault. Toby can’t get involved he has Mason and Bobby and Lucy are trying for a kid now too. I’ve got nothing to lose” He sighs.

“You have us. But I’ve got your back if you have mine” I sigh, there was no point fighting him on this.

“I’m not happy about it, but we’ll do it” He nods as I move from Lydia and hug him.

“Can we all have some dinner first before you go on this stupid mission of yours?” Travis sighs.

“Yeah, I could eat” I smirk.

“Pain in my ass, just like your father…” He shakes his head.

“I wouldn’t bet using my children though” I growl.

“I know…” He sighs.

Lydia curls an arm around me, stopping me from going further as we at standing alone in the corridor.

“So, I thought we should have a chat before anything else happens…Hayley said something earlier…” Lydia says.

“What did she say?” I ask my arms around her waist.

“That she wants a second mummy and a little brother” Lydia smirks.

“Really? She asked me if we were together yet” I smile.

“Are we?” Lydia ask, looking me in the eyes.

“Do you want to be?”

“Yes” She smiles.

“Then I would love it if you would be my girlfriend. You and Hayley mean the world to me. Just more reasons to come home” I smile as she squeals and kisses me passionately as I back her up against a wall, she moans against me.

“Girls…Dinner will be done in twenty minutes if you need some time alone” Lila smirks.

“You guys got the kids?” I smirk.

“Yes Kat, I’m sure we can handle them” She says as I take Lydia’s hand and drag her upstairs with me into the bedroom as I shut the door and backed her up against it.

My phone began to ring as I kissed her against the door.

“Ignore it” Lydia moaned as I kissed her neck as my hands brushed over her skin.

“What do you think I’m doing baby?” I smirk as I kiss further down, across her beautiful, full breasts down to her stomach as she moans against my touch.

My phone rings again.

“God damn it” I growl as I throw it across the room along with my jacket.

Removing Lydia’s top and jeans slowly as I explore her body, her delicious curves…

“Kat…” She moans as I stand, picking her up and throwing her on the bed as I remove her underwear, kissing my way down as her hands are interlocked in my hair as I kiss, touch and lick my way down her body until I reach her wet core as she moans against me.

The phone rings again as I groan in frustration, quickly stand and pass Lydia the phone.

“Answer it” I moan as I go back to her body as she struggles against me with a smirk as she answers the phone breathily, putting it on speaker.

“Kat why the fuck haven’t you answered me?!” Connor snarls angrily.

“She’s…mmm…A little busy right now” Lydia moans as I attack her hot bud further.

“Are you two fucking right now?!” Connor exclaims.

“What do you want Connor?” Lydia groans.

“I got info on one of the guys, but it seems like Kat is eating her dinner, so call me when you’re done. Hurry up Katrina” Connor laughs as I smile against Lydia’s pussy as she turns off the phone and moans loudly against me.

“Better hurry up then” I wink as I plunge my fingers inside her as she screams out as I attack her clit and fuck her hard.

I didn’t know how long we had been fucking until Lila shouted up the stairs to say dinner was ready as Lydia was we both climaxed together.

“Timing…” I smirk, out of breath as she kisses me passionately.

“Where the hell have you been all my life?” She groans as we get dressed, kissing as we went.

“If you had of met me earlier, you wouldn’t have Hayley. Things happen for a reason” I smile.

“True” She smiles as we head downstairs, linked up with our arms around each other.

Nathan is smirking at me as we get into the kitchen.

“Have fun?” Nathan chuckles.

“We need to sound proof every room you two have S.E.X in” Craig groans.

Lydia blushes as I chuckle and kiss her neck.

It was just then I noticed the extra person at the table.

“Connor…Seriously…It couldn’t wait?” I groan as he’s smirking at us.

“How many dinner’s do you need? Was Lydia not enough?” He winks.

“Connor! That’s my sister!” Craig groans as I laugh.

“Mummy, I’m hungry” Hayley murmurs, luckily she had headphones on as she was watching tv on Lila’s tablet.

“Dinner’s now ready sweetheart” Lila says as she and Travis bring out the food.

We all sat together and had a completely normal meal, but as it got later, Connor began to fidget.

“We need to go don’t we?” I sigh.
“Yeah” He nods.

“Ok, I’m going to put Ollie to bed and then we’ll head out” I sigh as I clean him up.

I’m humming the lullaby my mother would sing as he falls asleep in my arms.

Lydia walks in with a sleepy Hayley too.

“Do you mind if we stay tonight?” She whispers.

“Of course not, it will be nice to come home to you in my bed” I wink as she giggles and puts Hayley on the sofa as she lays a blanket over her. I kiss Ollie goodnight and put him in his cot before kissing Hayley on the head as me and Lydia creep out the room.

“Be careful tonight Kat, please” Lydia sighs kissing me.

“I will, I promise. Sleep in my bed and I will be home before you know it” I hug her to me before we go down stairs.

“Ready?” Connor asks.

“Yeah. Nathan, look after the girls and Ollie for me” I smile as he hugs me.

“I will. Connor take care of my sister” Nathan orders.

“Will do. We’re just at the house tonight to have a chat about a few things. Nothing too bad. She’ll be back soon” He nods.

“We’ll be staying in the guest room tonight” Lila says.

“Ok…well goodnight guys” I smile as Lydia kisses me quickly before I follow Connor to his car.

“Aren’t you missing someone?” Craig smirks behind us.

“Not tonight Craig” Connor replies.

“But…” Craig mumbles.

“We don’t need you tonight” Connor repeats as Craig glares at him.

“If anything happens Connor…” Craig warns.

“Nothing will happen” Connor rolls his eyes as I give Craig a quick hug goodbye before getting in the car as he races off.

“So, what are we really doing?” I face Connor as his face falls.

“I know where they all are…They aren’t after you to kill you…They want you to lead them…” He sighs.

“What?! So, why are we going?!” I ask.

“You’re going to get me in so we can wipe them out” Connor answers as I look at him in shock.

“You’re unbelievable…I could lead them, and you want to kill them. Why not just join force?”

“They nearly killed you!” He shouts.

“People change. At least give them a chance…” I sigh.

“Look in the file on the back seat, those are the faces left, then tell me what you think” He sighs as I lean back and grab the file.

“Tommy…Needs to die, he was an asshole…Harper…Seriously, these guys are the survivors, he’s a bully, cruel, sadistic, needs to die…I’m seeing a theme here…Paul, what a prick…Wayne…He was…Ok I guess, never had much to do with him…Great so three out of four need to die…” I sigh.

“Still want to give them a chance?” He laughs.

“Shut up Connor…” I groan.

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