I’m overreacting. It isn’t his issue that I grew up with shit. It ain’t his fault I got handed some shit cards, now I play them to the best of my ability. I shake my head as I make my way back towards Gears old room. I pass by house mouses who are busy cleaning up after the late night party.
I’m granted sideways glances that tell me more than their words could. I’m not welcome around here, they don’t want me taking a place they’ve claimed in their mind. Not like I want their damn fantasies anyway, I grew up in the real world.
I close the door behind me and stare at my bags, the one I had brought with me. I’m glad I have a lockbox to keep it private. At this point I can’t risk taking a chance, I need to keep my six covered. I’m sure shit will blow up in my face before I can amend whatever issue Bear started all those years ago.
I’m not sure who this said devil is that he made a wager with, or even what that damn wager was. He left me with notes and videos how much of this is going to help me?
Dropping on the bed I pull out the few pictures I have left of these men. When I was first found I was pitiful, a gangly teenager at the onset of puberty. I looked pathetic, especially when I was forced to wear the clothes of the guys. A lot of my nightshirts came from then, Gears took me shopping wasting a shit ton of money on me for a new wardrobe.
I broke down in tears at the gesture, that was one of the first acts of kindness I had ever witnessed. I chuckle softly shaking my head seeing the picture of me perched on a car lift, looking down at Gears as he fixed something.
He was showing me how to fix a car’s brakes and wanted me to learn things that would help me. Taught me things to do if I ever went out into public and couldn’t keep my eyes on my car. How to check brake lines, see if they’d been tampered with.
How to check if something had been placed on my car, if anything had been fucked with. I was barely seventeen, Gear’s became the older brother I never thought I’d have. While I was trapped with those pricks, I heard girls talk about missing their siblings.
How they missed their family, just wanted to be back home. I guess at one point they stopped finding shitty parents that would sell their kids. Blowing out a harsh breath I changed to another photo. It’s of me and Patriot.
Standing on the back porch I was holding up a pair of antlers, Patriot holding me up. They belonged to the first buck I ever got. I was letting out the call of a warrior, hollering for the kill. I was ecstatic, having been able to take down the buck for food. I continue to flip through my photos seeing me and members doing something together.
I finally come across Bear’s photo, he was staring at me, telling me about his family. This is when I first felt like I was a part of something. I didn’t feel like I was holding them back or being some kind of trouble. I was asking him questions of his family, of his life.
I shake my head; I wonder when it all changed for him. When he didn’t want me dead. I look back at the bag tucking away the photo’s. Hearing a knock on the door I zip the bag closed and shove it under the bed. Hiding it away, I don’t want to risk anything.
“What?” I call out, walking to the door and pulling it open a crack.
“Cobra’s called Church, said to come and get you.” I nod, stepping out of the room and locking it.
“Alright.” Forger walks on, leans heavily on his cane. I keep my pace with him. Glancing around seeing members as they mill around, catching their eyes and seeing their apprehension and confusion.
“How are you handling it here?” I turn towards him and take a moment to respond with a shrug. I’m not used to it, I miss my home, my land. I miss my shit, but there isn’t any use in crying over it, I can’t go back. Not now anyway.
“I’m dealing with it.” He chuckles and stops to stare at me, I follow his lead.
“That’s not what I asked and you know it. How is it hitting home?” He rephrases the question, making me sigh and jerk my hands through my hair.
“I’m fine, let’s get this over with.” I turn and walk on, hating that the conversation in the room dimmed, no doubt to listen in on the conversation. Forger grunts at me, making me shake my head.
I don’t want to talk about my feelings and headspace in a place I don’t know. I don’t exactly want to cough up intel if I’m surrounded by the enemies. Cobra said something about a leak, why add fuel to their fire?
“Hellion, it’s good to see you again.” Cueball walks next to me earning a side glance. I nod at him slowly.
“It’s been some time.” He chuckles before hacking up a lung, making me glance at him. “You should get that checked out.” He only laughs before coughing more, stubborn idiot. I enter the room seeing Cobra sitting in his chair deep in thought with a solemn expression on his face.
Patriot, Kado and Shovelhead are already seated, the other two find their spots. Rubble enters the room as I jump up onto the table again, leaning against the wall.
“Everyone’s been notified. We’re ready when you are.” Rubble directs his comment at Cobra before glancing at me to give me a head nod in greeting. I return his greeting as he takes his seat to the right of Cobra. Silence descends on the room, making the guys look at one another before staring at their President.
“Who were you meeting when Gears went down?” Cobra’s question comes out quite, lethal almost. His mind having been kicked into overdrive, apparently. I watch as he lifts his head staring at Rubble.
Rubble stares at him for a moment longer before blowing a harsh breath through his nose. “We had a meeting with the Devoted Buzzards, they had a sister chapter blow the meeting. I wasn’t close enough to see their patches.” Cobra looks over at Kado.
“Did you see their sister chapter?” Kado shakes his head with a shrug.
“No, I wasn’t on scene. I was ten minutes out from that.” I didn’t understand that, especially if Rubble wasn’t close enough to see them either. Was Gear’s the only one close enough to get killed that night? Cobra leans back in his chair before turning to look at Rubble with a raised eyebrow.
“Your father didn’t want anyone advancing besides Gears, said it was better.” Rubble shrugs, and I go back to thinking about the name they were meeting. I know them. I’ve seen them at least.
“Why were you meeting with the DB? Dad didn’t do business with those idiots.” Cobra looks over the group, confused about it all. I guess Bear’s mistake dealt with them, and their sister chapter. That’s one part of the clue solved, now to get the rest of the picture - how fun. I feel like I’m in a messed up game of who did it.
“I don’t know, I know Gears and him had some words before they went off to the meeting.” Kado speaks up looking at Cobra and Rubble. I can only wonder what they spoke about. It’s strange that Gears, the Road Captain went into the meeting rather than Kado hell Patriot even. Gears had to have known the real reason for the meeting.
“Rubble what do you know about the meeting?” He releases a frustrated sigh, forcing his hand through his hair in an agitated gesture.
“Nothing, I knew Bear was meeting DB. Next thing I know Gears got gunned down, I got hit when I tried to maneuver closer. I had to call Hellion to pull an evac. Your father wanted me to promise that Hellion got the package from Forger three weeks after his death, to the day.” Rubble shrugs, and I feel my eyes narrow. Three weeks to the day? That’s too specific not to mean something important.
I watch as every pair of eyes turn towards me and I raise an eyebrow crossing my arms across my chest. “What?”
“What did my father give you?” I can only cock an eyebrow at him.
“Your father gave it to me for a reason. The club doesn’t need to worry about it.” I can feel tension rise in the room. I’m not really sure what he gave to me, pair that with my new knowledge of a traitor in the club. I’m not about to be coughing up important information without knowing who I can trust and who I can’t.
“I need to worry about it if it concerns the club.” Cobra scowls at me making me return the favor.
“All you need to worry about is the club. Your father had his reasons for what he did, I respect your father too much to go against his wishes.” His expression falters slightly before he leans forward with a growl.
“If it’s a threat to the club, then I need to know.” I stand up then, feeling my skin prickle in agitation.
“You’re acting like your father would ever do anything to harm the fucking club. Stop playing fucking Alpha for a minute and put your head on straight. That man adored this place, if I think what he gave me needs to be heard by anyone other than me, then I’ll look into it. Don’t disrespect your father’s name in your damn climb to the top.” I growl at him, I’m hating this place. I haven’t been this strung since I was first rescued. I can’t stand this anymore, I’m going mad being surrounded by this many unknown.
Storming from Church I headed straight for Gears room, I need to be away from everyone. I feel myself shake with anger, not sure if I’m more pissed at myself or Cobra. If I’m honest, I’m more pissed at myself. I need to chill the hell out. I can’t keep going around jumping everyone.
Stepping into the room I slam the door, locking it once more and pace. I’m used to working so hard I can’t think about anything other than sleep. Now I’m like a freaking caged tiger who hasn’t seen the outside of a cage in years.
Forcing myself to take a deep breath I fold my arms over my head. Trying to focus, I wish I had my land, my safety net. Flexing my fingers, I finally stop, needing to meditate. When I was first saved Cueball watched how I would jump and pace around. He finally chuckled quietly and said that I needed to calm down and enjoy what I had around me.
Said you never knew when it would all be away. Cueball sat me down and educated me on the art of meditation. Gave me something that I could always keep with me, that I could always turn to.
I plant my ass on the ground, resting my forearms on my knees and taking a deep breath. Looking up at the ceiling I close my eyes, forcing air into my lungs. Letting my thoughts drift from my mind, I ease away from the worries. Easing away from the anger and frustrations, I can’t keep losing my shit.
I might never be able to go back to my home. For all I know I’ll be stuck here until I can earn enough money to buy new land. To get what I lost, would it be worth the risk going back? I want Gears bike at the very least. That bike holds too many memories for me to part with.