Good friendships are fragile things and require as much care as any other fragile and precious thing.”
Chapter 2: Unreturned Feelings
“It has been 3 months.” My back ached from his stronghold when he placed me back on the ground. “Right, you just came back from Brazil right?” I nodded and fondly thought back to my recent solo American trip.
I went to the Oktoberfest in Blumenau. It has always been one of the things I wanted to do in Brazil and Germany. The year before I joined the one in Germany and last year it was Brazil. I just came back in time for Christmas.
“It was great! I would totally want to do it again.” Rayon grinned, “Maybe next time, you’ll take me with you?” I laughed nervously. Ironically he didn’t know that he mostly would have to go with me.
“Well, at least you are finally finished with studies?” Rayon has been studying for almost 7 Years. He majored in Law and minored in Business Management and Languages. He could speak 3 languages fluently. “Yes, finally. I passed the Bar exam and I’m officially a lawyer.”
I hugged him and whispered in his ear, “I’m so proud of you.” I could feel his body tighten and heard him swallow. After another second I pulled away and he pulled himself together. “Sorry, would you like to come in. I was just about to make tea?”
I almost gagged at the thought. You would think since I’m from London, tea would be something I loved, but in all my travels I learned to love coffee way more than tea. “I’m good with a glass of water.” Rayon nodded and we walked to the kitchen.
He made the tea as I got comfortable at the table. I was nervous and didn’t know how I was going to tell him what was about to happen with our future. He quietly took a seat and stirred his tea. He was waiting for me to talk.
“So, what’s been going on? What did I miss?” He looked up and I knew, he knew I was affording an important conversation. “Well Mary is Pregnant, and Shane got his Licence. And I’m only talking about small stuff because we both know you are here for a reason.”
“I could just be here to see you.” I stuttered. He raised an eyebrow. “Look Ray, it’s something serious and before I talk about it I just want to hear how it’s been going with you?”
“Fine, I’ve been seeing people, but nothings last. My dad wants me to get married and I can’t think of anyone to get married to. I’m finally done with study stress and now I have to become a partner at my father’s firm. Are you ready to talk?”
As he said the marriage part he looked at me with longing in his eyes. I looked down at my hands and closed my eyes. I knew he would take the deal. He wanted us to be together and I knew that. He wouldn’t mind this at all but I don’t know if I could do this.
“Well, you know my mother wants my dad to retire. This leads to me taking over his position as CEO and you know this town of us wants men running the world so that brings me to the fact that my dad also wants me to get married.”
Rayon looked at me and I could see his troubled swallow. “Do you have someone in your life?” He asked but I knew he didn’t really want to know. “Rayon, I’m just going to tell you. My dad wants me to marry you. He wants you to be by my side when I take over his company and he wants us to act like it’s a perfect idea.”
He sat up straight and took my hands in his. “He is right you know. We know each other. I love you and you care about me. I could do this and we could be together. Emi, you can learn to love me the way I love you.”
I pulled my hands from his and stood up. “Of course that’s what you think about. But I don’t want to get married. I don’t want to be tied to one person. I love my one night stands with people from all over the world. I love traveling and not staying somewhere for more than 5 months. I know you love me Rayon, but we both know you deserve better than me. You need someone that loves you and doesn’t have to learn to love you.”
He rested his head on his fist. I hurt him, and I knew it. “Rayon, I’m sorry. I get you don’t mind doing this but I need you to know, if we do it, it’s because I have to.” He stood up and slowly walked to me as if he was afraid I would run.
“Emi, I get. You don’t have to say these words to hurt me. Believe me, I know you don’t love me. But I’ll still do this for you. Because even if you don’t learn to love me. You will learn to live with me. We’ll learn to be together.”
“So you want to get married?” I asked and he nodded. “Okay, but I’ve got a trip planned for January until March. I’ll be back then. We can then discuss our wedding.” He looked down at his hands. “What if I go with you? I’m done with school and we could learn to be okay with our future. We can do this together.”
I looked at him and shook my head. “Rayon, if I have to get married, I need to do this trip alone. I need to live while I can because once we get married, who knows when I’ll be able to travel again or be free. Please understand that I want to do this alone.”
He nodded then turned around and walked to the Christmas tree in their living room. He picked up a box and gave it to me. “I wanted to give this to you. Take it and put it under your tree. When Christmas comes, open it. I’ll leave you to be with your family before your trip. But let me know before you leave. I want to say goodbye.”
I nodded, taking the gift from him and walking out of their house.
Copyright © 2020 by Grace Write