An Early Start

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Summary

How do you survive the apocalypse? If you ask former US Army, Sergeant Michael Elliot, he will rant....a lot. "During a crisis, you need to be able to count on leadership. Unfortunately, thanks to our ridiculous electoral system, we had nothing but a puddle of self-serving rectal fluid in (dis)charge of the country. That farcical joke of a President only served his own interests and made a terrible situation, much fucking worse. So we had to make it on our own. For us, that came down to avoiding assholes, getting good people to help out, and luck. Lots and lots of fucking luck."

Genre:
Action / Humor
Author:
Pro-profanity
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
48
Rating:
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:
16+

Chapter 1 – The Reluctant Narrator

“We recording?”

A voice from behind the camera came softly, “Yes Michael, you can start when you’re ready.”

Looking up, Michael gave the camera a dismissive nod, “Where exactly would you like me to start with this bullshit?”

With noticeably measured patience the voice replied, “How about your time in Special Forces?”

Michael snorted a derisive laugh, “Special Forces my fucking ass. I was regular Army. My Fire Team was temporarily attached to a Special Forces unit. And when I say ‘attached’, what that means, is stay out the fucking way and don’t fuck anything up if they ask you to carry shit.”

Michael paused to light a cigarette, “Now.”

The previously displayed patience disappeared, the voice behind the camera came again, “Michael. You can’t possibly think smoking is allowed inside.”

Michael slowly inhaled, “You can’t possibly think, I’d give a shit? You don’t have to be in here.”

Michael inhales on the cigarette, shaking his head in disbelief, “This fucking place confuses me, so many rules that are piled on top of more fucking rules and a shit ton of guidelines, all in a desperate pretense of being civilized. Then fuck me, if I could be here for more than three god damn minutes without being inundated with helpful suggestions from various Samaritan types trying to make the whole world a better fucking place.”

Thoroughly debriefed on how to deal with her subject, she gave him a brief smile that oozed mockery and asked, “Anything else you would like to get off your chest? Or would you like to get to the point?”

“I was going to stop the foul ass whining, but seeing that you asked. Just in case someone ever listens to this bullshit, my story I guess you would call it. If you are the type that finds foul language cause to be offended, then I have two sincere suggestions. First, get the fuck over it. During my existence on Mike’s green earth, I have never been able to establish any sort of correlation between a person’s use of foul language and whether they’re a cunt or not. Second…”

The voice interrupted, “Is it your intent to prolong this process?”

Without missing a beat, Michael suddenly decided he was bored of ranting, “Absolutely not. To the story then. Let’s start with my time in the US Army. I served, I was kicked out, that’s the end of that fucking topic.”

The voice prodded Michael along again, “Why don’t you start with after you left the army, explain how you came to be at the docks?”

Michael nodded and this time he started in earnest.

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