Always with Honor
Officer Training School for the United States Air Force.
Three months of unrequited love and ecstasy, pain and joy, fear and triumph, bonding and brutality—life rawly placed before you to see if you could hack it. Conditions brought as close as possible to wartime to see if you could take it.
As for me, I had a difficult time made less difficult by the presence of the masters upon whom I could call at any time. Still, not being able to decree after eight months of it was hard, like a junky coming off horse.
The Bay before I left the Teaching Center threw me a grand party. They even broke the one about not sugar and provided cake and ice cream in bountiful supply. I was held up before the others as an initiate who was not afraid to go into the world of ordinary men and practice the teachings.
I was told that I was special and select and that I would accomplish great things for the Brotherhood and I believed it. Then we all watched a “Superman” and the significance was not lost on me.
Fortunately, just before I’d left I’d heard the dictation on the power of “Sheva” the destroyer. Whenever anyone at OTS would act bossy or heavy handed toward me I would simply utter the name of Sheva because, as I’d been assured, Sheva was much more powerful than any of the angels or saints of the western world. In this, as in many things, the East was superior.
Just before I’d left a also discovered that The Virgin Mary had appeared to Holy Mother and released to her the latest rosary, one far better than the one the Catholics had been saying for so many years.
In this rosary, many of the ancient mysterious were contained which called for the release of the bound ones to do their work on earth. It contained a number of “I AM” invocations and fundamentally changed the “Our Father” and “Hail Mary”. Here’s how the new one went.
“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name,
I AM. I AM thy kingdom come. I AM they will being done.
I AM on earth even as I AM in heaven.
I AM forgiving all my trespassers
As I AM also all my trespassers forgiving me.
I AM thy daily NR bread.
I AM the power and the glory, world without end, Amen.”
“Hail Mary, full of grace, the:: Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sons and daughters of God,
Now and at the hour of our victory over sin, disease and death, Amen.”
This new rosary sustained through the worst pains and tribulations of OTS. Running is a large part of the program and this “New Age” rosary was my mantra throughout the miles and miles I put in there.
When others were gasping for air trying to get two or three miles in a day I was able to run six and eight. It was proof enough to me that the masters were truly on my side there.
Decreeing became a problem. With a roommate about all the time, it was hard to find the privacy to call upon the masters. About all I could muster was a few weak ones before bed after he’d fallen to sleep and the “Head, Heart and Hand” decree in the shower in the morning. It was hell.
Finally, around the fourth week I went for the “Chapel Rep” position. My recruiter had assured me that the fundamentalists snapped them all up and I’d been on the alert from the beginning to attend Mass and associate with the upper class chapel Rep.
I wanted it because it would provide me my own room to do counselling in private (often OT’s will reveal more to each other than they ever would to the Flight Commander or the Commissioned Staff) and to decree as well.
I collected clothes for orphans, collected money for turkeys for the poor, and gathered toys for children for Christmas, and convinced them in the interview that I was the person for the job. The fifth week I got it.
Able to retreat to my own room at night I decreed to my heart’s content each night. I was in heaven. My professional life now secure in the Air Force, my religious life now secure in the knowledge of the Teachings, I couldn’t have been happier, except if the Masters found me fit for my reencountering my Twin Flame.
Over the Christmas break I returned home to report to those at the Teaching Center on my progress. I went over there and attended session after session on the new teachings that were being released, confident in the knowledge that the primary reason for my success at OTS was the Teachings.
It was all so clear to me at the time I could not understand why everyone did not realize the same, such as my mother--who allowed me to use her car to go to the Teaching Center but not without those looks that communicated fear, love, worry and confusion--and my brother Frank, who called one day to hear from the horse’s mouth if all those reports he was hearing in Seattle about my apostasy were true.
“Brian, what’s all this shit I hear about you being in a cult. Is it true or is it Mom’s usual overreaction to events in her, children’s lives that are beyond her control.”
“I don’t talk about it anymore, Frank.”
“Why? Don’t they let you? I’ve always been able to talk about whatever I’ve been involved in. Why can’t you.”
“It’s not that I can’t, it’s that I choose not to. And things have been a lot more peaceful for my since I have kept my silence.”
“Who’d have thought you’d get involved in a cult. You were the best Catholic in the family. Mom’s always hoped you’d become a priest and make up for all Dads’ sins.”
“Frank, unless you stop calling it a cult there’s no reason to talk to you. It’s a church.”
“Listen, asshole, churches don’t coerce their members into chanting and paying dues. If it isn’t voluntary then it isn’t a church. And from what Mom tells me, it isn’t very voluntary.”
“So are you going to get your information with the usual distortions or are you going to listen to me about what’s really going fun?”
“I would listen to you but you won’t. :Bra, talk about it.”
“Because I’ve found that way I get along better with the family and don’t have to take as much grief.”
“What’s Dad think about it.”
“Dad hasn’t been around for ages. He’s down in Atlantic City fleeing his parental responsibilities, as usual.”
“Do what you want, man, but leave Mom alone. All she does is cry to me about her prized son who’s left the true faith. She must be saying novena’s for you every week.”
“Yeah, and talking to Monsignor, too.”
“Man, do what you want, I don’t care. You’re an adult.” “Tell that to them around here. She keeps brining up you’re being in Scientology and how you got tired of that just like I’ll get tired of this.”
“Yeah, but there’s one difference. I was only in Scientology for two weeks. You’ve been with this cult for almost a year to judge by the calls I’ve been getting.”
“Can it Frank.”
“Like I said, do what you want, me boy. Only remember the faith of the land of your ancestors. What do they say about Ireland? You used to be such an Irish nationalist. We toasted the end of British rule in Northern Ireland together at Jake O’Shaunessey’s, remember?”
“National differences are not important just like religious differences are not important. We are all children of the Masters.”
“You believe that shit, Brian? Who are the Masters, anyway? Guys that golf under 70?”
“Funny, Frank. Let’s drop it.”
“Only if you promise to get your poor mother to stop bending my ear about it every time she calls. At least when she called about Dad’s binges there were funny stories. Yours are so morose.”
“Did you hear the latest?”
“No ... what?”
“Dad was arrested for standing naked in front of a lady’s house in Norristown. That’s why he went to Atlantic City. He heard the mob does that until things quiet down.”
“Christ! He’s still at it, huh? I’m glad I’m 3,000 miles away when I hear stories like that. You seeing anyone?”
“No ... why?”
“I don’t know. Mom and Ron are both convinced that you’re only with this group because you don’t have a girlfriend to keep you busy. I thought I’d ask in hopes that you found someone who gave you a rise in your Levi’s so I could tell them and put them at ease.”
“Well, I haven’t. I can’t believe that you pervert the sacredness of sexuality so easily Frank. If you thought a minute you might realize…”
“Spare me the lecture. This is on my nickel. If you want to lecture, you call in your name and pay the bill. Neither I nor Mom have the money to support you.”
That last had a double meaning.
When I’d been out in the world I’d gone to Seattle and stayed with Frank in hopes of being more successful out there than I’d been back East. Frank offered me free room and board until I found something. Employment proved elusive and Frank’s patience wore thin in no time. All of his resentments at being the primary bread winner when my father was on binges and my resentments at being under his tutelage had surfaced.
The stay was an unmitigated disaster and set us both back years. We quickly discovered that we didn’t know each other too well and that had been uncomfortable. I’d learned the valuable lesson that no one, including your family, likes financial dependency.
In my mind, I made the inference that Frank was bringing this up because it was still a bone of contention between us and the Teachings were another way to get at me. Family mesmerism. It was time to end it.
“Good talking to you Frank, but I’ve got things to do.”
“Hey ... Brian ... don’t get all pissed off like you usually do because you can’t handle criticism. Forget the money. We’re all pretty worried about you being in this cult and we’re worried that you’re going to go live with them out in Montana.”
“The family grapevines still very much intact, I see.”
“Stop being so fucking self-righteous, Brain. Your family’s known you a much longer time than Holy Mother. Ever since you lost  you’ve never been the same. I mean, really Brain, think about it for a minute. Do you think you would have joined a cult three years ago when you were in DC and working and everything was going well?
“Drop, it, Frank. Let’s not dwell on the past. Let’s talk about some of your addictions, if you want to get serious for a minute. Still smoking dope every day.”
“No, I’m not as a matter of fact. I’ll tell you one thing I’m not addicted to and that’s listening to assholes who join cults lecture me.”
“Great, Frank. We’re back to our usual non-communication now. Are you going to be sarcastic and caustic or can we get something accomplished in this conversation.”
“Brian, I’ve said about all I’m going to say to you about it. You’ll be laughing along with the rest of us when you see the truth about these mantra maniacs in a few years. We never should have let you take transcendental meditation in high school. That’s where all this started. You should have been working two jobs like me and that would have kept you out of trouble.”
“Frank ... I’m not you. Got it. I’m not you. I lead my own life, OK?”
“Do what you want, Blood. I’ll be here and so will the rest of the family when you come to. It’s no use talking to you now because you’re in so deep with them. You sound like Tommy does anymore. He used to be a lot of fun but now that he’s joined that Jesus church he’s a drag. All he does is read me chapters from the Bible.”
“Yeah. He’s called Mom a few times and read to her from the Bible.”
“Did he really? I’m going to have to talk to him.
“If anyone has a secure place in heaven, it’s me poor mother. I mean, everyone knows she’s a saint for having put up with Dad all these years. Well...I’ve talked a lot longer than I wanted to.
“That’s a useful fiction. Keep living it if you can.”
“I will. Thanks for calling, Frank. It’s been a slice.”
I was so upset after the talk with Frank that I got the keys to my mother’s car and drove over to the Teaching Center. The entire way I decreed for Frank and the rest of my family. They weren’t evil, just misinformed. I comforted myself with the knowledge that everything was possible through the Masters.
I returned to OTS infused with the newly released Teachings. I had learned that there was an emphasis on the military at present, as many fallen ones had infiltrated it on both sides and was seeking to bring about planetary destruction as they had on Atlantis and Lemuria so many eons ago.
I redoubled my efforts and missed distinguished graduate by a few points. I attributed my failure to negative karma from either this or past lifetimes.