CHAPTER 14-The Former President
After leaving the safe house to head back home Logan seemed to have some questions that he had been holding back on before.
“Rain, I don’t understand how someone like you can get yourself into something like this. I mean don’t get me wrong, you’re amazing at this, but is it really a compliment to say someone is a good assassin? You’re such a petite, brilliant woman, so why pick this career field?”
I looked at him for a few minutes contemplating what he asked, because to be honest, I had never really given it much thought myself, until now. I wasn’t really sure how to respond to those questions which seemed to irritate me. It was obvious he noticed my irritation, but I think he thought it was because he asked those questions. My irritation was because of the questions but not because he asked them; more so because I wasn’t sure of the answers.
After a few minutes of thinking about things I told him to pull over at a park we were going past at the time. He pulled into the park and pulled up to the lake. We got out and walked up to it to sit on the bank. After a few more minutes I finally spoke.
“Look, Logan, the truth is I don’t actually know what it was that made me decide to be a killer. I explained to you about my past and how I was a very angry child and teen. I was always feeling neglected and didn’t know how to deal with things. I was walking around aimlessly trying to decide what to do when I overheard a recruiter talking to someone about enlisting. He said that less than one percent of the American population become soldiers. This caught my attention. I liked being able to say I could do something someone else wasn’t able to do. I was always overcompensating for being the young, small, unwanted child. My mother is 100% Cherokee Indian and my father loved her more than anything. My mother left me a notebook with her favorite sayings and quotes in it. My half siblings always tried to take it from me but were never able to. On the cover she wrote: There is a battle of two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth. The wolf that wins? The one you feed. It’s an old Cherokee proverb but I never understood it at the time.
“I was three when the evil wolf in me took over and I became everything she never wanted me to be. I was filled with anger and hatred. I was mad at the world for losing the only person that seemed to care about me. When I enlisted things came so easy for me that I felt like that was where I belonged and the government didn’t seem to mind that I was Indian or a killer. Killing was easy for me. I was mad at the world. I felt superior because of my skill set and I seemed to forget everything my mother ever taught me about humility and forgiveness.
“After I got pregnant it felt like I ran into a brick wall. Everything in my life seemed to change. I realized what I had done and how many lives I took. I realized how many families I possibly destroyed. I know it was my job and if I didn’t do it then someone else would, possibly even someone that wasn’t as qualified and could’ve gotten themselves killed in the process, but that doesn’t change the fact that I was the one that destroyed people.
“I don’t have any issues killing if that’s the way I make it sound. It’s a job and it’s one I’m very good at. When I had my children, though, I chose to be a mother and a teacher instead of a killer. That doesn’t mean I won’t go back to being a master assassin, like now. I will do anything, be anything, I have to do to keep my family safe and if that means I have to bring down the entire Government then that’s exactly what I’ll do. It won’t matter who or what they put in my way. I will plow through anyone and anything because they made the biggest mistake of their lives selling me out after everything I’ve done for them.”
With that I think Logan saw the fury in my eyes and let the conversation end there. We went back to the SUV and finished the short trip home. Once there the kids were so ecstatic I couldn’t keep the fury that had been building in me. I was so happy to be home with them that everything else seemed unimportant for the time being.
Over the next two weeks things seemed to progress normally with me healing and going about work daily. After work I’d hit the gym in the building and get back into shape making sure my injury wasn’t going to be an issue when the time came.
After the second week was up I figured it was time to get things started to getting close to the old president. I had every intention of going about things on my own but apparently Logan had other plans.
As I was getting my things around to be able to leave on a moment’s notice Logan came waltzing out carrying his own bag. Since he’d been staying at my house from the time this all started he had plenty of things here and ready to go.
I looked up at him questioningly but before I had a chance to speak he cut me off. “Look, Rain, you can protest my going with you all you want but the fact of the matter is I’m going with you whether you like it or not. I almost lost you once and I won’t go through that again. I will not sit around and wait for a phone call that may or may not come. I can be useful too. I have resources that can come in handy and I will use every connection I have to help you. I will not let you go through this alone. One way or another we’re going to finish this together so we can live in peace and be happy for the rest of our lives without having to look over our shoulders.”
“Okay, Logan, you can come with me on one condition.” I said.
“What’s that?” He asked.
“When I tell you to get down and stay down or to stay somewhere you better do it because if you think I won’t knock you out to keep you safe then you have got a lot to learn. If I tell you to do something you better do it, because my knowing you did what you were told means I have less to worry about and have less of a chance of something going wrong and my getting hurt or killed.” I knew that if I told him it would be less risk for me then he would be more agreeable and more likely to actually do as he was told.
He quickly agreed and started packing our bags in the SUV. This was going to be a long few days. The hardest thing to try to do is to get to an American ex-president that doesn’t want to be found.