I Almost Walk the Plank
Don’t think I wanted to be here, because really, I never had any plans to take my morning walk three-hundred and sixty feet underground. It’s kind of a long story, to be honest. You know, bombs, old ladies dressed as pirates, turtles who can run across land, faster than a rocket-powered cheetah. You know, the normal. Not to mention the other weirdos. Did we win a prize? I’ve met nasty carnival game hosts, who scowl at children who win the oversized unicorns hung on the wall, but this was a different story. I don’t think you get clubbed and kid-napped when you win prizes. A surprise, maybe. I sure was surprised when I was abducted by a smack-talking tortoise, and even more, surprised when I saw who owned it. You know what they say: A pet looks just like their owner. Or is it the other way around? Either way, here’s what happened.
I groaned as I tossed and turned in my bed. My throat was ridiculously dry, but I didn’t want to get out of bed. Finally, the thirst got to me. I rolled out of bed, and tip-toed down the hall, into the kitchen. I opened the pantry door to grab a cup and moved over to the sink, which was located right under the only window in the kitchen. As I put my cup under the faucet, I noticed something move outside of the window. As a kid that was home alone, I decided to do the obvious thing: overthink it and run back to my bed as fast as I possibly could. My throat was finally wet, and I could sleep. In all honesty, I wish I never got up to get that cup of water. That night, I had the strangest dream.
“ZANE” an unfamiliar voice yelled, “Are ya deaf, sonny? Look at me when I'm talkin' to ya, savvy?!”
“Er, oh, um, Yes, sorry!” I realized I was staring blankly at a wall. I turned my head to look towards the strangers voice. Another thing I wish I haven’t done. To my left, a pale, old woman, stood about four feet tall. She had long, droopy earlobes and an extremely wrinkly face. A bun sat at the top of her short white hair. “Wait a second,” I said, “where am I?” I quickly scanned the room I was in. Have you ever watched Pirates of the Caribbean? This room looked just like the captain’s cabin on one of those ships. If I learned one thing from those movies, You should never go in the Captain’s Cabin. That’s where he keeps all of his treasure! So either this lady was about to get shot, or she was the captain of this boat. If I think about it, I could see this lady brutally murdering other pirates with a sword in hand. She looked at me as if she was trying to make my head explode with her mind. She probably could if she really wanted to.
“You sonny, are on-”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise, would I?”
“What surprise, Did I win a cash prize?”
"Ha, cash prize my rear end!" She chuckled.
Curiosity got the best of me, and I ran out the door.
“Woah” I whispered in shock. I was in a pirate ship, which was located in what looked like an underground cavern. The room glowed, and it took me a second to realize why it was glowing. Gigantic crystals filled the room, each one at least 3 feet tall. It was a beautiful sight, but the view didn't last long. The old lady ran up behind me, grabbed my shoulder and yelled.
“Wake!” She screamed in my face.
“Hey, seriously where the-”
I opened my eyes, as I awoke in my bed. “Oh thank god,” I whispered “Just a dream.”
I dressed and headed into the kitchen to pour myself a bowl of cereal. As I tipped the box over the bowl, a folded piece of paper spouted out with the honey nut Cheerios. I picked up the note and carefully unfolded it. The note was folded, almost like a kid’s menu from a sushi place, so it was almost impossible not to accidentally tear it in excitement. I folded the last corner up. Carefully, I studied the paper. Nothing was there. Just a blank piece of paper. “Stupid cereal box...” I mumbled. Setting my empty dish in the sink, I tucked the blank paper into my left pocket.
Today, my parents were out on a business trip. Mom insisted I went with them, but Dad said I was fifteen and could stay home by myself. It was also Saturday, so I was pretty much free to do what I wanted. While most kids would have thrown massive illegal parties, I was gonna sit back, watch Horror movies, and eat left-over nachos. Unfortunately, before enjoying nachos and horror movies, I had to clean up the dog: a one-hundred and twenty pound, English mastiff. Although he was only a puppy, this guy could’ve fought a bear. Well.. at least he could if he wasn’t so lazy. Anyway, I let the beast outside and got him fresh food and water. After I let him back inside, I headed out to pick up his droppings.
I tossed the bag into the trash bin. A figure moved on the other side of the fence. Our house was in the middle of a giant gravel field, so we didn’t have any neighbors, And the only animals we ever saw around here were old, dirty raccoons. Last night I saw something out of the window. Could this be the same thing I saw last night? Or could it be someone? Maybe I'd stick with cartoons, I thought, but nachos were definitely still on the menu. I walked into the garage and grabbed the family’s most dangerous weapon: A wooden broomstick with soft black brushes. Dangerous, right? I crept slowly outside with the broomstick in hand. Nothing moved. Suddenly, the broom slipped out of my hand, and a sudden pain struck the side of my head. I remember thinking I was dying, and then I fell to the ground.