In Sickness and In Health
“Can I come in?” He asked quietly.
“It’s your house…” She said with a shrug. Quickly smothering the small flames as she slid over on the bed so he could sit beside her.
“No. It’s OUR house. Whether we’re married or not, everything I have is yours. Especially my heart…”
He sat on the bed beside her and looped an arm around her waist tentatively before pulling her into his lap. Her knees naturally settled on the outside of his legs as she sat back on them. He wrapped both arms around her back, noses almost touching; chests pressed together, her arms loosely slung across his shoulders. Their hearts beat in tandem, two halves of the same whole. Staring into her eyes he waited patiently for her to respond to his advances. She leaned in slowly, almost as if it had been their first kiss. When he couldn’t take the tension anymore he latched his mouth to hers. The kiss was quick before he pulled back just enough to whisper against her lips.
“Live for me, love; for us. For our family.”
This time it was she who captured his mouth, tugging on his bottom lip before deepening the kiss. Kurt pressed himself harder against her, needing to feel her strong body against his. This was his woman, the woman he loved in every manner he could imagine. The thought of losing her, either by her hand or any other terrified him. He drank her greedily, his hand traveled up her back, under her shirt to the soft and scarred skin there. The other hand fisted her long hair, pulling the ponytail loose letting her hair fall around them like a curtain. They needed this, he told himself. Needed to feel the other’s love. For a moment he was consumed by passion; then he stopped. Not like this. He snatched his lips away from her, seeing the confusion in her eyes, her lips red and face flushed.
“Not like this, love…” He could tell she didn’t understand. He tried to slow his beating heart, distract himself from the soft skin under his fingers, her weight in his lap. “I want you… But I want you when you’re ready.”
Though she had moved into his home, Kurt and Jordan only shared a bed on the occasions when he could tell she needed comfort. When her nightmares haunted her, he would slide in beside her and hold her until she fell back asleep. He had seen her in various states of undress, though it was only in the pursuit of tending to her wounds, never for pleasure’s sake. He dreamt of that moment often but resolved never to push her into something she could regret.
“You keep so much from me, hold so much back. When we have this,” His hand ran lovingly up her side, “When we finally have this, I want all of you. No secrets, nothing held back. I’m willing to wait for you, as long as it takes.”
Jordan couldn’t hold back the tears in her eyes as she listened to him. This man understood her like no one else, not even her sister. He had been so supportive up to this point; she wanted to give him this moment. But he was right, she wasn’t truly ready and he deserved that more than she did. He deserved their first time together to be everything either of them could dream of; it would just have to wait a little longer.
“Hey,” he brushed the tears away as they fell. “No more crying. I want all of you and I’ll wait forever if I have to.” She smiled a little at him. “I don’t have to wait forever do I?” He added with a smirk and she managed to laugh out loud.
“No!” She pressed her forehead to his. “You don’t have to wait forever. Soon, okay?”
“At least the wedding is only a few months away, and I do enjoy a cold shower…” At the mention of the wedding her whole body tensed on top of him. A look of fear flickered across her face. “Do you still want a wedding?”
“Yes!” She answered without hesitation, gripping his face between her hands. “But I don’t know how I can do it all… I want our day to be special but now I feel like I have to start over with my recovery…”
He leaned forward and kissed her again, this time it was supportive instead of possessive and passionate. He pulled her into him until her head naturally rested on his shoulder, her warm breath tickling the hairs on his neck. Continuing to rub her back, gently tracing her scars he kissed her lightly on the neck.
“Our day will be special because I’ll be marrying my best friend. We can let someone else handle the details, as long as you meet me at the altar. I’m sure my sisters will jump at the chance to help.” A little laugh sent more ticklish air across his neck.
Kurt had grown up the youngest of four siblings, the only boy. His nearest sibling was still 6 years older than he. All were happily married, two with children of their own. The two eldest Kennedy and Kali lived there in Denver, not far from Kurt and Jordan. Kassidy was the sister he was closet to in age and personality. She and her husband had married just two years before and moved to Orange County. All three sisters knew and loved Jordan; were completely incensed when they broke up and utterly relieved when they had reconciled.
“I don’t know if I can handle three more sisters…” She responded only half-jokingly, her lips brushing his neck. Kurt felt a tingle shoot down his spine at the contact but reminded himself there would be none of that today. “Nona is still mad at me and Taylor… she doesn’t even know what’s going on…”
“Don’t worry about that. She loves you and she’ll understand. If anything Taylor knew something was wrong the other day at the table…”
“I told her I was fine. I lied to her.” She rubbed her face against his shoulder.
“She’ll understand. When she gets back tomorrow night, we’ll sit down as a family and figure this all out. Trust me.” He felt her relax against him again. “So, why don’t you want my sister’s to help?” He inquired, trying to lighten the mood.
“They’ve already done so much…”
Since Jordan had been released from the hospital his sisters had been helping out as much as possible. Whether it was cooking dinners for them, picking up around the house, driving Jordan to appointments when Kurt or Nona were unavailable, they jumped in wherever they had been needed. Kennedy had even been kind enough to take Taylor and Marie school shopping because Jordan had been unable. She spent the whole day with the girls, getting a sitter for her small children, and insisted on paying for everything the girl’s picked. Jordan hadn’t gotten a chance to get to know her children yet but she looked forward to it. She knew how much she enjoyed Hendrix, more nieces and nephews seemed like a dream come true. Kurt interrupted her musings.
“They love to help. You don’t owe them anything, they think of you as family already. They can even fight with Nona over who gets to throw the bridal shower!” For some reason Jordan had a feeling she would be enduring four separate showers. He noted her disposition taking a downward turn and sprung into action.
“I don’t know about you but I could use a little fresh air, burn off a little tension…” He waggled an eyebrow at her and she had to laugh once more. “Let’s take a walk down to the park. Nona can meet us there with the little one. I think some fresh air would do you good love.”
Growing up on the reservation, Jordan had always enjoyed the outdoors. Being the only girl among male cousins meant she had to learn to ride horses, shoot a bow, and climb the steepest of peaks. Nona had never enjoyed any of those things being raised in the city but Kurt understood how dear they were to her heart. She untangled herself from Kurt, allowed him to help her put on her sneakers and they were off. As they passed the mirror in the hall, Jordan realized her hair looked slightly like a bird’s nest after she and Kurt’s recent embraces. She grabbed one of his baseball caps off the hook on the wall. Slapping it on, she wrapped her hair into a quick ball, slipped her hand back into his and headed out.
As soon as they arrived at the park, a group of young neighbors beckoned Kurt over to play a game of pick-up soccer with them. He had played seriously in high school and college, making him a bit of a local legend. Jordan could see how badly he wanted to go show off a little; lord knows he needed to blow off some steam. She plopped down on a sunny bench and shooed him toward the game. The day was warm and she just wanted to sit and sun and relax. Resting her head on her arm, stretching her legs out on the remainder of the bench, she watched Kurt play for a while before deciding to rest her eyes, if only for a little. She had no idea how much time had passed when she was startled awake.
“Ti-Ti! Are you sleeping?” Hendrix had arrived, poking his face up under the brim of her hat and neglecting to adjust his volume for the proximity. She felt like she had jumped ten feet in the air but realized that was ridiculous. “Did I scare you?”
“Yes, a little.” She had to admit as he leaned in for a sloppy kiss. Nona came jogging up behind him, looking exasperated and sorry he had awoken her so abruptly.
“Hendrix! I told you to wake Ti-Ti gently! Was that gentle?”
“Yes! I didn’t jump on her.” He replied with innocence, proud of his restraint. Nona sighed loudly then waved him off.
“Please go play.”
She dropped ungracefully on the bench beside Jordan, watching him play with a keen eye. She reached down and grabbed Jordan’s legs, putting them across hers. She patted them gently but still had not addressed Jordan directly. Jordan waited quietly for her sister to speak, to say something.
“I’m glad you were able to come back home.” She stated, not really sounding all that glad. Jordan moved to respond but was cut off. “I’m still mad at you, though.” She added as she cut her eyes toward Jordan but she made no moves to disengage from her and Jordan decided that was progress. A few more minutes passed before she addressed her again.
“Relax. I’m not going anywhere. I got you.” She spoke reassuringly, though still with some bite to her tone.
“I guess I forgot…”
“I guess you did.” She reached out and pulled Jordan’s hat over her eyes. Relieved that her sister seemed to have forgiven her, she let her eyes slide closed again and relaxed, enjoying the feel of her sister and the warmth of the afternoon. It felt like a new day.