“Bring her to the room.” I heard as I saw light shining in my eyes. “She’s awake. Don’t worry sweetie we got you.”
I felt a sharp sting in my shoulder as I was crying and breathing heavily. I just realized that the cop had shot me. I was dragged into the room.
“Pass me the scalpel” The nurse said she looked at me.
“Ms. Collins. Don’t go. It’s gonna be quick and easy.” The nurse caressed my cheek. She was a beautiful brown skin woman. “Stay with us Faith.” She said as I stared at the ceiling and saw my vision fading away constantly. She wipes my sweat and she puts ice on my forehead. “She’s burning up!! I need more ice stat!”
“Faith!” I heard Kailani’s voice in the distance.
“She’s gonna be okay, miss. Wait in the waiting room.”
“N-no that’s my best friend. Faith that cop will pay for what he did to you.” They escorted Kailani out of the room as I cried in pain because I felt the doctor stabbing me in the wound.
“Shhh. Faith. It’s gonna be quick.” She smiles. I began getting dizzy. “No, stay with me Faith.” She holds on to my hand as I squeeze it. She began praying in my ear as I closed my eyes crying and praying to God that the pain would all go away. The doctor wraps the bandages around my shoulder. As I took a deep breath. “See, it wasn’t so bad, right.” I nodded no.
“That’s great.” The doctor gets up and hugs me. He was a tall black man. I smile. “We are going to hold you in here for a few minutes until you are fully able to move. We will let your family see you.” He opens the door as I see my mom, Markus, and surprisingly, Icarus.
“Oh my God my baby...” My mom runs to me crying her eyes out.
“I’m sorry mom. I just wanted to keep everyone safe.”
“It’s not your fault everything is fine.”
“Where’s Emmanuel?” I asked, looking at the doctors.
“We did all we could. But I’m sorry...He passed while trying to do the procedure.” My heart dropped.
“Well, can we bring him back? I can pay for it. How much do you need? We can- we can contact his father to lend some blood.” I look around. “Mom handed me my purse.”
“Faith, it’s no use baby.” My mom replied.
“Can we try something? Anything? He’s not dead. He’s a child of God. I know my God, he takes care of all his children. Emmanuel is okay.” I sit up. I hit a certain spot and felt my shoulder sting. “We can save him mom. Please...”
“He’s dead, Faith. He went to be with his mother.”
“No no.” I get up to find Emmanuel’s dead body in the next room. “Faith!” My mom chases me.
“Emmanuel. You were supposed to publish your book. It should still be in my bag in my car.” I noticed that his necklace was missing. “The necklace that his mom gave him. Where is it? He never takes it off. He can’t be without his mother’s necklace.” I cried and pleaded. “WHERE THE HELL IS HIS NECKLACE!” I screamed crying into his bed. My mom grabs me and pulls me away as the doctor puts the cover over his face.
“No, please don’t do this!” I begged the doctor. He shakes his head as I was taken away from the hospital.
“Faith.” My mom said, I’ll be staying with you throughout the while okay...I’ll be with Kelly okay. I push everyone away from me.
“I’m just gonna drive home...”
“They- took your car. Faith.” I look at them.
“I’ll just walk then.” I walk away in the cold all the way back to my penthouse on the other side of town.
While walking, the only thing that was in my head was where did I mess up? How did all of this go wrong? Maybe if I woulda pulled over...Emmanuel would still be alive today. But it still isn’t right. They could’ve just tazed him right? Where did it all go wrong? Emmanuel was unarmed though. So they had no right to shoot him. They dragged me out of my car. I had all my information ready. The car, insured. I wasn’t speeding. I was going at least 35 and slowed down at intersections. But the question remains.
Why did they follow us?
I didn’t have any drugs. I wasn’t a disturbance in the neighborhood. Where did I go wrong?
I walked inside my penthouse and saw Austin. He gave me a major big hug. I cried in his arms because I haven’t felt a hug this good in a while. Not since Emmanuel came to town...
“Are you okay Faith? I saw the live. Do you feel hot? Can I get you something?”
“I think we should both go to bed.” He nods as I walk upstairs to my room. I put on my pajamas, and laid in my bed...I kept tossing and turning. I couldn’t sleep. I was still thinking where did I go wrong. How did I get my brother killed? I looked at my Bible on my nightstand and turned my lamp on and continued reading Psalms 34:18.
I took a deep breath. I look up and close my eyes. It’s been a while since I have talked to God. I felt weak in spirit.
God, I need you. Can you please help me?
Overtime, I have been sitting in my room over the weekend still figuring out what happened. Yes, I’ve seen the news and how they all falsely accused me and Emmanuel for having these ridiculous symptoms. I’m not scorned and Emmanuel is not mentally insane. I see that on the news again I’m gonna go crazy.
I decided to treat myself after church. I didn’t technically go to church, but since I’m not back home anymore, I watch my pastor preach on Facebook Live. I walked inside of church hearing my pastor live overnight. I was looking for an outfit to wear to school tomorrow.
I then hear the pastor talking about something he left out of his sermon today.
We lost one of our brothers Friday. Emmanuel, he was a nice kid. I remember how he wanted to be a writer just like his mother and his cousin Faith. Faith, I remember seeing them both and how they would light up my day every morning. If you never met Emmanuel, he was such a sweet young man that would do anything to help. He cares deeply as well. He treated Faith like she was his baby sister. He cares for that girl so much. And Faith, she gives me faith. No pun. I hope she is doing fine. And Emmanuel, we will see you soon. Watch over your baby sister.
I sigh, beginning to tear up again. Emmanuel...I’ll try to live for you okay.
I saw that the cashier was looking at me in a different, skeptical way. I felt uncomfortable because they might call the cops on me, or they might think I’m trying to rob the place.
Quit overthinking Faith, they probably want to dress you up before you look stupid tomorrow
I grabbed a simple plain crop top, and shorts to match. I walked over to the cashier.
“That was fast. Is that all?”
“Okay $45.89” I tilted my head, and glanced at the price tag. I pulled out my phone and did the math. I looked at the woman, then at the price tag, back at my phone, back at the price tags, and then back at the woman.
“Ahem...I uh...You sure?” I asked.
“Yes. 45.89!” She says a little disrespectful.
“Miss...” My voice dries up. “I’m staring at the price tag. The shorts cost 10 dollars and 38 cents. Okay?” She nods. “I look at the plain shirt, and it costs 7 dollars and 32 cents. Okay?” She nods. “Now, I’m here on my calculator right. The total came up to 17 dollars and 70 cents.”
“And your point is?”
“Miss. How the hell did I get 45 dollars and 89 cents out of that.”
“W-well it is p-plus tax ma’am.”
“Oh I didn’t know I had to charge 28 dollars and 19 cents for some jeans and a t-shirt.”
“If you can’t afford it, you can just leave.” I shook my head in disgust. I looked at the cash register. She was dumb enough to not realize that the total was right infront of my face and it said $17.70. Knowing that I had way more than $48.89 on my card, I pulled out a 10 dollar bill, 7 dollars, 2 quarters, and 2 dimes. I grab my clothes and walk out recklessly.
“This is not $45.89!”
“I don’t know who you were trying to fool. But the cash register said $17.70.” She looks at the register and facepalms. “You can never fool a child of God. Have a blessed day.” I walk out the door singing Victory is Mine. She might be calling the police on me. So I sped off.
I finally made it to my penthouse.
“Good evening Faith, would you like dinner?”
“Yeah I’ll be down soon to get it. Just gotta take my shower and put these clothes up.”
“Okay. I’ll wait.” I smiled as I ran upstairs and got inside of the shower. I washed my hair and my body. Also had my private concert in the shower too.
What? I’m still seventeen.
I get out of the shower. I look in the mirror. And saw that my hair went back to it’s natural curly look. I began playing with it. Then I looked back at the mirror and saw my Demi Moore look. I sighed and looked at my flat iron. I slid it to the side and grabbed my Cantu products and began knotting my hair so it could come out into an afro.
I heard a knock on my door.
“Faith, the food is getting cold.”
“I’ll eat it tomorrow. Goodnight.”
“Okay...Goodnight Faith.” I hear his footsteps fade away.
“You know you caused a lot of horror along your way, Faith. With your afro, and your ‘black girl magic’ look. I’m tired of your stupid gimmick.”
“Well you know what. I see the way you look at me” I rebelled. “But I’m tired of bowing down and presenting myself as a way to please you guys. I’m tired of the straight hair, I’m tired of the soft voice. I’m gonna make my own choices. And I don’t give a damn how you guys feel about it!” They looked at me with a shocked expression.
“I oughta kill you right now you little bitch.” He grabs me by my neck.
“Well you better get to killing. Because I am proud to be this black girl.” I growled and spat in his face.
Lord, Forgive me.
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