Bear and Lexie
I am mad at my husband. I know I shouldn't be, he's just worried about my health and all that stupid crap but when I say I'm fine, he doesn't believe me. I've spent my entire life shouldering through illness because I'm deathly afraid of hospitals and doctors are just a step down from them - hell, they're the bastards that refer you there. Still, since I am an amazing wife, I let Will win the damn argument and now I'm on the way to the doctor.
It took me three hours of negotiation but I managed to get him to let me go alone, I don't need him breathing over my shoulder the whole time asking question after question while simultaneously answering the doctor's questions as well. It hurts my head and I'm a grown woman, I am nervous to be without him though, I will never admit that to him but I think he knows, it's why he pushed me so hard on it.
I love him and I know he loves me, that's never been in question, but sometimes we cause each other problems and this is one of them. I need to learn to face some things alone, as much as that scares me, and as this is one of my biggest fears, I can be proud of myself for coming here without supervision. Obviously, Will normally keeps me close to his chest so I can't bolt and without him here I have to steel myself and heave a breath before stepping into the main office.
"Mrs Thompson! Welcome! Please sign here and we'll get you straight through to the doctor." The favouritism is clear around here and I often feel terrible about it, we've found that no amount of begging will get them to stop doing it so we've basically given up on that front as frustrating as it is.
"Thank you," I reply softly, swallowing my nerves and stopping my hands from shaking so I can take the pen from her hand and sign the paper. Less than a minute later I'm in a consultation room opposite the same doctor I've had for years. "Hi, Doctor Lakshmi."
"Hello, Mrs Thompson, are you alright? Where's Bear?"
"He's back at the club, handling some things. I'm not doing so well lately, he's worried."
"Of course, could you describe your symptoms?"
"I'm tired all the time, I keep eating everything in sight and then throwing it up, my body aches and I feel faint sometimes too. Like I'm not balanced right on my feet. I just feel completely wiped like when I had that flu that put me in the hospital so I'm really on edge about it." She listens to me list a few more of my issues before deciding that testing will be the best choice right now, she hands me a cup and sends me off to the bathroom while she updates my chart.
I absolutely despise peeing in a cup, it's awkward and annoying and gross. I wash my hands three times and head back to the doctor while she discusses blood draws with the nurse. "Oh! It looks like we know what's going on already, Mrs Thompson. I still suggest a blood test to check your health and then I can prescribe you some vitamins and other specialised care that you may need in the coming months."
"Um, excuse me Doctor, but you haven't actually said what's wrong with me?" I tilt my head in confusion, watching as she types away on the computer. She does this a lot.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. You're pregnant, Mrs Thompson. I can't tell you specifically how long but I will refer you to an obstetrician to make sure you get the best care for you and your baby." I freeze in my seat, one hand drifting to hold my stomach and the other to cover my mouth as I fight back my tears.
I should've recognised all the symptoms but because I've been to so many fertility doctors that told me it was so improbable there was really no point in trying, I didn't even think it was possible, especially not by accident. "Are you alright, Lexie? You look like you've seen a ghost... perhaps I should offer you some other alternatives."
"No... no. I just... I've been to so many fertility doctors, they said... they said it was... you're sure? I'm pregnant?" Doctor Lakshmi reaches across her desk to cradle my hands in hers, squeezing them gently.
"I'm sure, Mrs Thompson. You're going to have a baby and Doctor Worth is going to support you the entire time, she's the best OB in the state, I promise," I let out a pitiful sniffle and accept all of her paperwork on autopilot, my hand constantly pressing my stomach like they'll just disappear if I get my hopes up and think too hard about them. I drift out of the building and slip into my car, resting the papers on the seat beside me and getting comfortable in my seat.
"I... I've read books about babies, mostly for Saviour but mainly because I hoped for you. I hoped I would have my own, you'll love your sister... her name is Nova and she's perfect, just like you will be. Even if you make me want to yank my hair out sometimes which I'm sure you will. I hope you know how much I love you already, how much you'll be loved by our family, how treasured you will be no matter what happens." I flatten my hands against my stomach, thinking excitedly about it becoming larger, "Let's go and tell your dad, huh? I think he'll cry, a good cry, obviously. He hoped for you too. I will warn you now though, he will never leave us alone again."
I chuckle softly and start the car, feeling it rumble to life under me. I flick the mirror down as I listen to the traffic memo on the radio and fix my makeup, I don't want to tell everyone yet and they'll know something is up if I come home crying and/or looking like I've been crying. Once I've fixed my makeup, I bury the paperwork in my handbag and start towards the clubhouse.
Not many people are out today and when I get back the place is heaving with people, even the couples and the families are here which I suppose isn't as rare as you'd think. I've had the opportunity to be involved with so many children's upbringing here, including my own daughter, and now I get to do it all over again.
I find Will in an armchair towards the back of the room trying to join in but I can feel his concern for me from here, it sets him away from the others. "Hi, honey." I greet softly, not breaking the atmosphere that's been built up here as they watch Ollie rile up to beat another man at poker. "Come upstairs with me?" He nods immediately, his eyes nervously flicking over me as if he'll find some physical malady that wasn't there this morning.
No one notices us sneaking out the back of the room and up to our apartment, Will locks the door behind us and spins me around. "Are you okay? What did the doctor say?" I grip his forearms as his hands tighten on my waist, likely itching to yank me into his chest but unable to do so until he finds out what is going on with me.
"I'm okay, Will." I start and the relieved breath is obvious, his shoulders folding in as his forehead lands on mine, his arms now sliding around my waist to press me into him.
"Is it the new birth control that's doing it? Do we just stop you from taking that and try a new one?" I can't help but grin at that, shaking my head happily. I don't need birth control anymore and I'm so grateful that the most recent one I've tried didn't fucking work because I have my miracle baby.
Lexie is smiling like a crazy person after a visit to the doctor which freaks me out more than when she watches those documentaries and tells me how she would dispose of my body given the chance. I was annoyed enough to have to stay here while she went to the doctor alone, I don't like not knowing what's going on with my wife.
She's predisposed to a lot of things because of her genes so whenever she shows symptoms of something really bad I freak out and force her into going to the doctor. I can't even apologise for it because she's so damn stubborn and would never go without my nagging, I'd rather drive her there myself every day if it meant catching something early and saving her life.
"What is it, baby? You're seriously freaking me out," I tell her, backing away slightly so I can see her face properly.
"Will..." I tense, I don't know what to think when she says my name like that, it never has a specific meaning and I really need specifics right now, "I'm pregnant, we're going to have a baby."
I think my brain has short-circuited, I'm obviously hallucinating, I've had this dream so many times that I'm not surprised it looks and feels this realistic this time but it is very cruel of my subconscious to do this to me. "This is a very nice dream if not a little cruel," I whisper softly, brushing my fingers over her face and waiting for the inevitable, my alarm ringing out and telling me to snap out of my own head.
I have my daughter and she's everything to me, I don't need another baby even if I do want another baby. Another child to spoil, the third bedroom of our apartment an empty reminder of what we can't have but always hoped for. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to, we have our family, our little group of three, with our crazy extended family supporting us and giving us everything we'll ever need.
"No, baby, it's not a dream." Lexie pinches me - hard. I yelp and snap away from her, rubbing my upper arm with a pout until I realise I'm not jolting awake in our bed, feeling the absence of a child I've never had the pleasure of meeting.
"You're... we're...baby?" I can't string together a proper sentence, my brain fumbling as I look at my wife literally glowing with pride, her smile as big as the day Nova called her mom. Lex reaches for my hand and lays it over her stomach, stroking over my knuckles without breaking eye contact with me.
She'd never lie to me about something like this, hell I don't think she'd ever lie to me but that doesn't make this any easier to believe. So many doctors told us that it just wasn't going to happen, that it wasn't in the cards for us and that we should stick with that, give up and move on. Just when we've finally settled into that after the last blow, we're blessed with a miracle baby.
I can't help but drop to my knees in front of my wife, basically worshipping her as I've done for so long now but now it's laced with something sweeter. She's carrying my baby, she's going to get round and big because of me, because of my baby.
That is probably the sexiest thing I've ever imagined in my life.
"When I stop crying, I'm going to take you into our bedroom and make sure you know exactly how much I fucking love you," I warn her, lacing my hands behind her back and pressing my face into her stomach, she lets out a few chuckles, her own voice broken by tears as I cradle her as close to me as possible.
All I can think is how grateful I am that this isn't a dream.