Lust, Greed, and Mon(k)ey
pitpatpitpatpitpatpit went marks feet as he sprinted as fast as he could towards steams hq
with arms behind him like a ninja, he sprinted past 47 guards--and continued running.
all that was going thu hi$ hed was “wat aboot doge, wut wood doge wunt, doge wood want me 2 get revong-3, doge wud want m3 2 find gaben. he w00d want me to end this, to maek shur no1 els would have ths hapen 2 them. so no oter doges wood ded”
wit his mind clouded by emotion and sincere thots, he disrugurded how close he was to the front door
mere secundz be4 he hit tha d00r he thought “yolo, yung rino 4 prez”
and KABOOOOM marki went thru door, as soon as he went thru he thot “ded liek doge”
he ran ovr to a de$k nd sed “wher is gabn u cheeky m8”
“Um sir, I have no idea where Gabe is-he left like twenty minutes ago. I mean I can help you find him if you’d like?”
marki thot “o crap-sidekik; hek ya”
mak nd hs newli fund sidekik ran throughout valv, nd after fighting off (nd makin peeps l00z ther j0bz) dey maed it to newllz offic. the smel of dorito nd bar b q was hevi in the room.
the smel was so disgutin mak nd his bi wen 2 get drink frum fountain, maks sidkik drank first. as soon as he drunk it, he started throwing up,
“ew, tat is nas-t”
nd mark sad “did u poot ur pant?”
“no lol” replied sidkik
then they started hearing a voice laughing over the intercom--it was gaben
then one of the nearby ALIENWARE AREA-51 GAMING DESKTOPs turned on; with an oovoo call going on with graben and his chins and minecraft tf2 moneuy on the screen.
"heuheuheueehu yun mark, i foold u--u fell into mi trap war XD"
"vhat do u meen, i am her saf--u r hidin behind screen eatin goldn DIORITOS LOCOS TACOS FROM THE LOCAL TACO BELL WHICH IS ONLY FIFTEEN MINUETS AWAY AND CAN BE CONTACTED AT 469-555-6911; CALL THEM TODAY AND YOU HAVE A CHANCE AT WINNING A NEW PS4 GAMING PC"
"hdhaahada, ye ur rite lol--ive got someone to fight you"
then out of nowhere he heard someone scream something in disgusting weeb tongue. there was a slash and a dasshh
then out of nowhere his new sidekick said "OI U CHEEKY M8 FITE HIM LOL, IVE GOTCHU WITH THAT CONSISTENT DAMAGE AND SPEED BOOST WHICH CAN ONLY BE PROVIDED BY THE MERCY GOD"
with newfound abilities mark left through the air yelling "YETI GOOOOOOOOOD" whipping out a fat tesla cannon from his thicc gorilla looking buns
he landed ontop of genjia nd he was balstin him down to deth-, mercy was hittin him up wth those fat heals as gnejo would hit him up with those weeb shurrikensaind, he tried to deflect the canon but it dndnt wurk.
winston rekt pro gejou
then g amen started SCrEAMING YO WHAT THE HECK MY DUDE
and a rocket started launching from the floor below him, making the assumption that g aben was on said rocket he left on it while it went through the ceiling and then the roof--he saw where he was heading and it was far from his pleasant life on earth...they were heading to the moon
TO BE CONtiNUED
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