I Got a Fever for the Violent Behavior
I lean on my hand while my math teacher drones on and on about data line trends and other shit that has to do with AP Statistics. We’re almost through the first semester, finals only a few weeks away, and I feel like the whole world is crashing around me. It’s Friday though, so at least I have the weekend to look forward to.
I can’t help it when my eyes start to close, the voice of my monotonous teacher becoming white noise.
I even slip into a little dream about getting A’s on all of my finals... I’m jolted awake when I hear a whisper, “Margaery, wake up.”
I stare at my best friend, Axel Blue, and whisper, “Sorry, it’s first period and I’m tired.”
He chuckles and pokes me in the ribs. I giggle and poke him back, but then our teacher interrupts, “Miss. Tucker and Mr. Blue be quiet!”
My face turns red, even though it’s his fault for putting us together, while I look down and Axel chuckles beside me.
I lock eyes with my other best friend, Lace Portman, and she wiggles her eyebrows at me and mouths ‘bad girl’. I smile and roll my eyes at her while she turns her head to face the front.
Axel nudges me with his elbow, “Such a rebel.”
I roll my eyes as the teacher drones on, talking about shit I don’t care about. I’m a senior, I’ve already been accepted into University of Chicago, so it doesn’t matter if I do well this year.
I stare at my blank notebook page and start doodling, since I plan on double majoring in art and history so I could teach historical art at some high paying university one day. I think I might even minor in philosophy so I can lead a new age Renaissance or something, who knows what’s in store for me.
I start to draw the symbols for some of my favorite musicians: Blink-182, Nirvana, Cage the Elephant, Green Day, The Rolling Stones, etc. I’m more into pop-punk and rock, so basically anything in between My Chemical Romance and Avril Lavinge I’ll enjoy. Not to say that I don’t like pop or rap, because Lace is obsessed with Drake and Taylor Swift, but it’s not my choice.
Axel shares more of my music taste, but he’s taken it to the next level. Not only does he listen to pop-punk and rock, but he also listens to bands like Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce the Veil, and Bring Me the Horizon which incorporate screaming and more speed into their songs.
I enjoy those bands, but the screaming isn’t really for me, so if I listen to them I only really listen to the songs they don’t scream too much in.
Axel and I both share and intense love for Panic! At the Disco and My Chemical Romance, which is the band that brought us together freshman year.
I remember the day he and I met like it was yesterday: It was the third day of school, I had already realized he was in a lot of my classes but I hadn’t approached him since we were in rival middle schools and I was being a petty bitch.
Anyways, one day we both go to school wearing the same Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die! Panic! At the Disco t-shirts. We looked at each other, realized we shared a similar love of music, and then became best friends.
Lace and I have been friends ever since the womb and the other two people in my ‘squad’ are Turner Kelly and Patricia Griffon. I met Patricia my sophomore year in art club, since she joined a year late, and she and I became pretty good friends.A few months later she started dating Turner,the quarterback for the JV football team and later to become quarterback for the Varsity team when he became a junior. Patricia is a flyer for the cheer squad, which is how she and Turner met.
Lace is all over the place with guys, she hasn’t been able to keep a steady boyfriend for over two weeks. I keep telling her that her taste in men is atrocious, but she just keeps brushing it off.
As for me, I’ve had my eyes set on the exact person I know I can never have: Axel Blue. Yes, I know it’s cliche, but I’m actually in love with my best friend. I haven’t even dated at all the whole time I’ve been in high school because I’ve been so hung up on him.
I know everything about him, and he knows everything about me, and I just can’t find a way to tell him how I feel because I’m scared he doesn’t feel the same.
Luckily, I haven’t had to go through the hell of him having a girlfriend because he hasn’t, which I’m surprised about because he’s a classic heartthrob.
Pretty cerulean blue eyes, warm beige skin, muscular arms from playing the drums, curly ebony hair, thick eyebrows and dark eyelashes, firm jawline and cheekbones, tall and toned body, cute crooked smile that shows off his pearly whites adorned with pomegranate colored lips, and a deep, manly voice.
He honestly is a very sexy male, especially compared to me who isn’t all that great looking… At least I don’t think so.
I’ve got juniper green eyes, medium beige skin, I’m pretty scrawny but I’ve got strong legs from participating in cross country, straight bleach blonde hair with pink highlights, beige Blake Lively styled eyebrows with extremely dark eyelashes, small face and features without any solid definition, I’m very short and skinny but I’ve got pretty big breasts despite having a flat ass, I’ve got super thick baby pink lips with straight white teeth, and I’ve actually got a pretty good singing voice.
I honestly probably wouldn’t find me attractive if I were a guy, but I seem to get hit on a lot when I’m at the mall or just walking down the hallway. It’s all kind of annoying because the whole time I wish it were Axel…
I’ll just have to come to terms with myself that it might never happen and I’ll have to deal with it even after high school. He’s been accepted to the same college as I, so we’re hoping to be put on the same co-ed floor. He told me he’s majoring in engineering so he can design things, which is something he loves to do.
For all the time I’ve known him he’s been super interested in how things worked and were put together. If I ever had something that was broken I’d bring it to him and he’d fix it for me. He also has built a lot of cool stuff throughout his life that he has shown me. He even won a few awards when he took his inventions to a competition amongst other child prodigies and he won first twice and second once in the three years he has competed. So he basically wants to be an engineer and inventor, which is perfect for him.
I’m snapped out of my thoughts when my notebook slides out from under me and I see that Axel has stolen it.
He starts adding the logos of Sleeping With Sirens, Memphis May Fire, Bring Me the Horizon, Pierce the Veil, and Black Veil Brides to the collection of logos I’ve already drawn on the page.
I steal the notebook back and he frowns, “Don’t be mean because you aren’t cool enough to handle the screamo.”
I roll my eyes and say, “Sure, sweetie, think you’re cool because nobody else thinks so.”
He chuckles, “That really hurt my feelings, I think you should apologize.”
I shake my head, “I shall not apologize for what I am not sorry for.”
He gasps and jabs me in the ribs again, which is his favorite thing to do because he knows I hate how much it tickles. I’m an extremely ticklish person, even the slightest poke will send me into a frenzy of squealing. It takes everything in me not to scream when he pokes me in the ribs! Not only am I super ticklish, but it’s also extremely uncomfortable for me for whatever reason, I just hate being tickled. Obviously, my lovely friends take advantage of my weakness whenever they can.
I elbow him in the chest quickly, which I know he has a bruise there from being hit with a baseball when we were playing indoor softball a few days ago.
He grimaces and retaliates by squeezing the part of my leg just above my knee so that my knee jumps up and bangs against the desk.
I bite my lip to suppress a groan while Axel holds back laughter.
Feeling angry about the bruise I’ll probably have there I fire back with a quick punch to the nuts. Axel bites down super hard on lips to suppress the intense amount of pain he’s feeling after I delivered a blow to his family jewels.
He glares at me and shakes his head, muttering, “Not cool, Margaery.”
I giggle while he eventually settles himself after the pain I put him in. We then make eye contact for a few seconds, both of us holding in laughter. Suddenly, though, his face turns bright red and he stares back at his notebook and places a random folder over his crotch.
I arch my eyebrow, confused, so I grab the folder and almost burst out laughing when I see what he’s concealing!
He squints at me, even though he’s obviously embarrassed. I whisper, “How’d that happen?”
He groans, “You hit me and now you’ve awoken the beast.”
I giggle, “That’s what you call it? A more realistic name would be baby carrot.”
He shakes his head, “You’re a real asshole.”
I shrug, a huge smile on my face, “And proud.”
I place the folder back on his crotch, not wanting to be distracted by… “The beast” any longer.
Sometimes I wonder if the reason why I can’t make any progress with him is because we’re too friendly with each other and that I don’t show that I’m romantically interested in him enough.
I also can’t tell if he likes me in that way or not, because one second he’s tickling me and making fun of me and then the next second I’ve accidently given him a boner.
It’s all very confusing, but boys and love are confusing. I also will admit that girls are confusing, so if he does like me I’m sure he’s thinking about if I like him or not right now too.
I should be clearer with my signals, but it’s nerve wracking because I could lose my best friend if he doesn’t feel the same! It’s a real conundrum.
I don’t think it could get much worse than this…
At least I have some really great friends who I know will stand by me, and they know I’ll stand by them.
Lace and I have been the dynamic duo since kindergarten. Seems impossible, you’d think we’d get sick of each other, but we never have. We haven’t even had a big fight, only small ones that are resolved in hours.
She and I first became friends because of our love of the color pink, but I’ve since graduated to wearing darker colors and band shirts while she wears a lot of flannel.
Lace and I are pretty much opposite when it comes to how we look: She’s got maple brown eyes, dark olive skin she has from her pure Italian roots, dark brown curly hair, toned and buff body from playing volleyball, thin dark lips, thick eyebrows, and a bubbly aura that draws people to her.
Again, I’m pulled from my thoughts when Axel says, “Margaery, the bell just rang, stand up.”
I mentally slap myself and push my things into my bag, then stand up to walk to gym class. I have my phone out so I can quickly reply to my Snapchats while Axel, Lace, and I walk to the gym.
This is the only class, besides lunch, where my whole squad is all together. Lace groans, “That class was so boring! I feel like I’m about to fall asleep!”
I close my eyes, “I know, I feel like my eyelids are weights.”
Axel drapes his arm around my shoulder and squeezes me to him and says, “Aww, poor baby. I feel excellent actually.”
I scowl, “That’s because you only have to wake up ten minutes before school since you’re a guy!”
He chuckles, “What does being a guy have to do with anything?”
I reply, “Because you don’t have to do anything to get ready! No makeup, you don’t care about your outfit that much, and you just put a brush through your hair quickly to style it.”
He laughs, “For your information, I carefully plan my outfits the day before so I don’t have to the next day. I’ll admit, it’s pretty easy since all my clothes are black, but I do care about looking matched and shit.”
I ask, “Well, what about everything else? Because if you plan your outfits the day before that gives you even more time to sleep!”
He groans, “Well, you know I don’t put on makeup and my hair is pretty easy to handle... So no comment.”
I smile triumphantly and high five Lace, “So you have no room to talk about not being tired.”
He takes his arm off of me and pushes me lightly towards Lace.
I giggle, “Abuse! I’m being abused!”
He rolls his eyes and doesn’t make any other comments because by that time we’re already at the gym.
He peels off from the group to walk to the boy’s locker room while we continue to the girl’s.
Lace says, “Okay, girl, you’ve got to be blind.”
I arch my eyebrow, “What?”
She exclaims, “Axel obviously likes you! He pays so much attention to you, he’s always flirting with you, you two are constantly touching somehow, and he is obviously comfortable around you.”
I shake my head, “That just means he sees me as a friend!”
She groans, “He hasn’t dated anyone else, even though I know girls who like him, and he only flirts with you. Only you!”
I roll my eyes, “I don’t know, I just think he’s being nice. Plus, how do we know he’s not flirting with other girls? We don’t have all of our classes together.”
Lace shrugs, “I dunno, I’m pretty positive he’s into you.”
Patricia then walks up to Lace and I, a big smile on her face. I ask warmly, “You look very cheery! What’s got you feeling the sunshine?”
She holds out her hand and shows us a little silver band on her ring finger, “Turner got he and I promise rings yesterday for our two year! He’s so adorable.”
Lace and I coo, “Aww! So cute! I ship it!”
Just then Turner and Axel walk over to our group. Turner immediately gravitates towards Patricia, taking her hand in his. Axel finds his way behind me and places his hands on my shoulders and starts rubbing them.
This isn’t an unusual thing, for a month or two he was thinking about being a masseuse or physical therapist because he was going through a phase of muscle health and stuff, so he’d use me to practice techniques on. He’s since given up that idea for a career, but he still gives me shoulder rubs every once in awhile when he thinks I’m stressed or unhappy. At this given time, he knows I’m stressed because of finals and stuff, so I’m very grateful for his kind gesture.
Axel asks, “You ready for archery today?”
I joke, “As long as the damn string stops hitting my arm! I have a huge bruise there now!”
He asks, “Can I see?”
I nod and show him my forearm, a huge bruise there from the string of the bow and arrow hitting the same spot a bunch of times since I was holding it wrong. He frowns and pecks a quick kiss on the wound, “See, all better.”
I roll my eyes, “Dr. Blue back at it again. You can make any wound better, can’t you?”
He chuckles, “I can fix cars, so why not people?”
I laugh at his joke and instantly feel an immense amount of happiness I only have when I’m around him. It’s like this unique joy and warmth that courses throughout me whenever he’s around and leaves me cold and disappointed whenever he leaves.
Not to mention the injury to my self confidence every time I tell myself that I’m not good enough for him, because I know I’m not. That’s why I know for sure he doesn’t like me like that. How could he? He’s everything that I want and more, but the kind of girl he deserves is everything I’m not enough of.
Sure, I’m nice, funny, pretty, etc, but I’m not extremely anything. I’m not to a large extent anything good, and he deserves someone who is extremely nice, super funny, and looks stunning. I just can’t deliver…
I shake those thoughts out of my head, not wanting to ruin the feel of the ray of sunshine that is standing behind me, still rubbing my shoulders.
I squirm a little bit, not wanting him to touch me because it’s just making me feel bad about how we’ll never be more than friends.
He senses something is wrong, since he knows me better than I know myself, so he asks, “What’s wrong?”
I really don’t want to answer, so thankfully he doesn’t press any further when I answer with silence. Suddenly, I hear a loud screeching and loud bangs from across the hall. People are yelling and it sounds like… It sounds gun fire!
People run towards the gym exit to see what’s going on, but then they’re shut and the unthinkable happens.
My whole body starts to shut down, my muscles feeling like they’re made of water, as a boy in my math class along with a girl I share science with pull out guns and yell, “Nobody is leaving!”