30th March 1976
It is with the greatest sorrow that I feel I must write this letter to you. Please believe me when I say it is only after much soul searching and careful thought. I sincerely hope that it won’t come as too much of a blow, I really can’t bear the thought of hurting you further but I know it’s for the best, for both of us.
As you now know, I fell in love with you long ago after Ronnie and Dave first introduced us. It is my greatest regret that I never made it clear to you at the time how I felt and that I did nothing to stop you from leaving and travelling to America. In the aftermath of your departure I cried so much I thought I might never stop. With great difficulty I forced myself to come to terms with the awful outcome of my stupidity. But when I heard the first report of what happened to you out there in the wilderness I was beside myself with grief. I honestly believed that I had been cruelly cheated. I found it hard to imagine a world without you in it.
Then you came back into my life and I couldn’t have been more happy. Despite all you told me about poor Kathleen, I found myself still in love with you. Perhaps more than ever. Of course it was going to take some time for me to process everything that had happened but I was sure that I would succeed in overcoming my disappointment and dared to hope that we might even spend the rest of our lives together after all.
But soon I realised that those terrible events had taken their toll. Terrible damage had been done to the lovely, funny boy I once knew. It was so difficult to accept. The person I once loved so much no longer appeared to exist but even then I refused to accept that we could never recover. I prayed that time would bring you back.
Then came the day of the attack by that Irish man at the hotel. I know it was not a fight of your making and that you were forced to defend yourself. But when I saw the anger and hatred on your face as you bludgeoned him with that rock and then kicked him. Over and again you hit him and I thought you wouldn’t stop until he was dead. There was a terrible savagery in your eyes. It was so ugly, so intense and I realised you surely would have been capable of doing those things to your friends in America. I still believe that you are innocent but I don’t think I could ever look into your eyes and not be reminded of what simmers beneath. Something dangerous lies dormant within you now and I’m terrified of the day it will resurface.
Frank, I cannot be with you any more. As difficult for us both as I know it will be, we must go our separate ways and seek happiness elsewhere. Your secret will always be safe with me and I wish you much luck and good fortune. I dearly hope that one day you find what you are seeking but I must ask one final thing from you.
Please do not reply to this letter or attempt to make contact with me. I know I will find it so hard not to think of you again but I must. And so must you.
Goodbye my love.