Her Secret Scars

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The Sweatshirt

-Not Edited-

Loyals POV

Golden beams begin to warm the tips of my cheeks, as it shines down upon my eyelids and pulls me from my deep slumber. The weight of my exhaustion makes my me want to just stay huddled under the safety of my blankets, but I knew I had to get up now or face the wrath of my italian mother. I don’t mean in the sense that’s she’s cruel, but instead as an expert with the wooden spoon. And I don’t mean anything having to do with cooking.

So I sluggishly rolled out of bed, and shuffled into my closet yearning for warmth, as I quickly grabbed my cropped army green t-shirt and my camouflage pants out of my drawers. Crouching down, I grabbed my white nike’s and casually slipped them on as well.

Once I shut my closet door I couldn’t help but catch a mere glance of myself in the mirror and think; damn, I wasn’t planning on dressing like a badass bitch today but i’m going with it

After grabbing my phone charger, I slid it into the miniature pocket of my bag and tucked my brass knuckles into the pocket on the side for easy access.

Never be unprepared am I right?

I slid on my silver hoops, that would shine from just a stray ray illuminating from the sun giving me a ghostly dark shadow of pure sovereignty. I grip the handle of my bag and slide it over my shoulder, before proceeding out my door and across the hall.

Gently turning the sleek silver door knob in front of me, I entered in tiptoe to her bright and live aqua colored room. I walked over to her peacefully hypnotized figure, and smiled in awe at the way her little nose twitches, as she slowly grips her tinkerbell comforter in her tiny fist. Before I even decide upon waking her, I quietly pull out some clothes for her to wear for the day, and lay them at the edge of her bed.

Standing back to my feet, I run my hand softly down the side of her precious little face and lean down leaving her with a loving kiss on her forehead. She begins to shift from my actions, but nonetheless stays sound asleep.

Gosh, I really don’t want to wake her peaceful little figure.

In the end, I delicately shake her awake until her rarefied icy blue eyes meet my gentle lavender ones.

“Good Morning Munchkin, I laid your clothes out on the end of your bed so that all you have to do is slide them on. Once your done come downstairs and I’ll make you my magic chocolate chip pancakes, okay?” I greet her sleepy, disoriented figure. She slowly nods in response, as I kiss her temple, while running a hand through untamed golden locks. Once she sits up, and pushes her blankets back with a shiver, I make my way back into the open hallway and down the stairs.

I lay my bag on my seat, and make my way into the kitchen to greet my beautiful mother who is currently dressed in her light blue scrubs.

“Mornin’ Mammina” I sweetly embrace and kiss her cheek. My mother is definitely the most beautiful women I’ve ever met in my life, and no doubt the strongest. Not only does she have to deal with my retarded ass, but my two asshat brothers as well, which in my opinion takes a lot of strength and patience. I admire how my mothers flawlessly, tan skin shines beautifully under the kitchen chandelier, and how she still doesn’t bare one storytelling crease upon her face. Her long blonde hair pinned back with a simple hair clip, only letting a few strands free to act as bangs.

I just hope that I can gain even an ounce of her beauty, and especially have it last as long as hers has.

“Good Morning Piccola, how did you sleep?” she concerningly asks, as she prepares breakfast for my brothers.

“Bene” I smile, as I prepare the pancake batter for Hope.

“Good morning Mom” Corey tiredly announces as he struts into the kitchen, giving her cheek a chaste kiss as well. “Good morning shitface” he smiles, while looking at me.

I roll my eyes at his brotherly antics with a minuscule smile, and continue to stir the mixed ingredients until the batter is smooth, with chunks of chocolate chips. I reach over and start to set the batter on the pan forming little circles of heaven.

Once I’m done I place the pancakes on a plate, and quickly cut them into little squares, making it easier for her to eat. I drizzle a little bit of whip cream on top, and then set them in front of a ravenous Hope with a fork in hand. I attempt to turn and grab an apple, but a snap my attention back to Hope when what she’s wearing catches my attention.

A black Nike sweatshirt that looks twice her size covers her body as she rolls the sleeves up to eat. I’ve never seen her wear this sweatshirt before? Maybe mom got her a new sweatshirt and she’s just deciding to wear it now..?

I calmly walk back into the kitchen to ask my mother about Hopes newfound attire, but instead almost walk into the middle of a brawl for the last honey bun between my two brothers. I can’t help but let a chuckle erupt from my lips when Corey slaps Danny upside the head, but i soon snap my mouth shut when my mother slams the knife in her hand down on the marble counter.

Oh this should be good. Mama bears angry. And one thing you should never anger is an italian women, let alone your italian mother.

“Ragazzi! Basta con queste sciocchezze! Give me the fucking honey bun!” she seethes staring at my older brothers, but instead of handing it over they just stare wide-eyed at our mother. (Boys! Enough of this nonsense)

“Corrison Rhodes Bailey and Daniel Andrews Bailey, if you don’t hand it over now giuro su Dio” she scolds once again, but when she realizes they aren’t gonna give it up she walks over to the kitchen drawer and starts to search for something that I know all too well. She turns back around with a wooden spoon in her hand, and knowingly waits for them to finally hand it over. I look over at my brothers as they both stare at the spoon in well known fear of its capabilities. Danny quickly hands it over and begins to walk out of the kitchen, face fallen in defeat. Which soon changes when my mother smacks his ass with the spoon causing him to yelp, and run off as fast as he can. She quickly spins around and stares at Corey, waiting for him to go so he can get the same fate as Danny. He tries to run quickly past her, but our annoyed italian mother is much too fast for her own good, and laughs when Corey screeches falling into Danny from the pain.

She raises the spoon in the air, waiting for my brothers to challenge her, but they don’t, and instead they high-tail-it out of there in the other direction. My mother and I both start laughing as she finally puts down her weapon, while nonchalantly hands me the honeybun to have instead. When her laughter finally seizes, as she begins to clean up her area, I choose to finally ask her about Hope.

Right before I take a bite of the honeybun I turn to my mother, “Mammina, hai comprato Hope una nuova felpa?” I ask my mom, as my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.

“No” she denies, with her lips pursed together as well as her eyebrows scrunched. She sets the plates down on the counter and walks out of the kitchen towards Hope, as I follow close behind.

“Hope, where did you get that sweatshirt?” my mother sweetly asks her. She turns her head so that she’s looking right at our mother, as her cheeks are puffed up with food with chocolate all over face.

“Ugh look at your face, bambina” she laughs as she wipes away the chocolate from Hope’s chubby cheeks.

“It’s my friends’ jacket” she states matter of factly and continues to eat. I guess my mom was satisfied with that answer because she stood to her feet and walked back into the kitchen, but I, however, was not.

I waited for her to finish chewing and then continued to ask, “Which friend?” I ask her, trying to ease the answer out.

I watch as a light blush creeps up her neck and straight to her ears, “Xanders” she replies.

“Why do you have his sweatshirt?” I question her protectively.

“He told me that it would protect me and that he wanted me to smell like him. And only him” she told me, as I eyed her suspiciously. Jeez, my sister is only six years old and this boy already stole her heart. This is not good.

I slip my phone out of my bag to check the time, to see that its already seven o’ clock.

“Cazzo di merda, faremo tardi” I whisper out, and start frantically packing the rest of my stuff up. (Fucking shit, we’re going to be late)

“Come on, let’s go” I called through the house, as I softly gripped Hope’s hand in mine and slid her off the chair. I grabbed my keys and walked over to my bike, and slid my helmet over her silky blonde hair.

“Hold on to me, tight like you did last time okay?” I instructed and awaited my answer from her little innocent lips.

“Okay Lolly” she nodded.

I hopped onto my bike setting Hope right in front of me as she attaches herself to my torso. I start the engine and ride off towards hell, which is where I will be for the next six fucking hours.


I pull into Hope’s school, which is right across from mine and kill the engine. I pull the helmet off of Hope’s little head and smooth out her frizzing hair. I then set her down on her dainty legs, as she peers up at me with those little piercing eyes of hers with a small smile. I turn to set my helmet on the seat of my bike, as her little hand wraps around mine as she cuddles into my leg.

“I know your excited, so let’s head on in” I smile, fixing her hair once more.

I smile down at my little angel and encase her little hand with my much larger one once again, and start to walk towards the double doors. After talking to the lady at the front desk she directs me to room 23, and once we arrive in front of it a smiling sunshine underneath a rainbow greets us.

Now that I think back, this poster is really fucking creepy...

Hope knocks softly and waits a couple of seconds until we are greeted with a beautiful woman who looks to be in her early thirties. Her straight black hair meeting the middle of her back, as her brown eyes shine with a loving smile.

“Hey Hope, who’s this?” she sweetly smiles in my direction.

“This is my big sister, Loyal” she cheekily introduces me, as she looks back up to me with such a charming smile, and a tint of excitement glistening brightly in her eyes.

“Hello Loyal, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Devlan Chrisstie” she greets me with an extended hand, as I take in mine through a respectful handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you too Dev” I smile, giving her a unique nickname in a friendly manner. Which earns me another smile.

“Okay well I’ll pick you up after school, but I have to go or I’ll be late, okay? Have a good day, Piccola” I say, bending down and hugging her goodbye.

“Okay, bye Lolly” she responds and skips her way into the homey like classroom, with bean bags and a large knitted carpet resting in the middle, but just before I turn to leave I watch as a small boy with fluffy brown hair and a Nike sweatshirt that’s very similar to the black one Hope is wearing, grab a hold of her hand.

He walks them over to a bean bag and slowly sets Hope gently down into a comfy resting position, which he then copy’s. I sit in awe at how he looks at Hope with such adoration and affection and yet not only are they both only six but they’re in first grade. How cute is it to already have a boy be that caring, and that sweet at such an age?

The little boy, who I presume is Xander, pulls Hope against his side as he reads her a little cartoon book, and that is that last cute moment I can take as I finally walked out of the school building, and towards my bike. I hop on and cross the street to my high school, and park for the last time this morning.

Damn how can she get that lucky that young? I just hope it doesn’t backfire on her.

I walk through the huge parking lot, counting down my last seconds of freedom until my hand finally grazes the school doors. I swiftly pull the door open wide enough for me to walk through, and step through the threshold. I go to my locker to prepare myself for class when at the same time I shut my locker, the bell goes off.

The halls flood to the brim with students, some scurrying and some who just couldn’t care less. As I head towards the big school map to try and find my math class again, someone tugs lightly on my backpack trying to get my attention.

I turn my head slightly to see the brown-haired boy from yesterday, making me internally roll my eyes and mutter, “What?“.

“Someone fell off the wrong side of the bed today” he jokes, with a smile.

Wasn’t it just yesterday he had me trapped against a locker antagonizingly? The same guy with the cocky ass attitude? And now that same boy is cracking ‘incorrect’ jokes?

“I don’t think that’s the saying, Sawyer...” I slowly reply, with slit eyes and a slight chuckle.

He returns with his own playful eye roll, “Whatever, so where are you heading?” he ponders, staring into my eyes awaiting his treasure of an answer.

“My math class” I replied looking back at the school map trying to find the room number, which seems impossible right about now.

I don’t know why i’m trying to read this fucking thing. I’ve never been able to understand these maps.

“Oh, what room?”

“2304” I glance at him, to find his eyes once again, locked on me.

“I’m heading there too, I can show you where it is if you’d like?” he asks me, as I debate on my response. I mean even though I find this guy about as comforting as a cactus it would be a lot easier than trying to find the place on my own.

Just before a generous yes leaves the comfort of my lips, the fact that we’ll be in the same math class all fucking year round hits me. Well shit. This should be interesting.

“Uh, sure” I politely smile, while trying to muster enough patience to deal with him for the next whole hour.

We start to walk, and soon end up side by side approaching a set of stairs. Some guy was on his way out, so I politely stood to the side allowing him to pass by, but I was only painfully rewarded with a slap to my ass making me jump in shock.

I spun around so fast to look at the culprit, that I almost gave myself whiplash, but before I could even get my hands on him, Sawyer beat me to it. The guy totally ignored the fact that Sawyer had him up against the wall, and instead had his eyes glued to my tits.

“In your dreams, asshole”, I spat in his direction in distaste.

Sawyer snapped his head around, and traveled up my petite figure as if he was scanning me for any possible injuries. Once his eyes met mine, I realized the raging fire inside them, and there was no fucking way to extinguish it without getting burned.

“Stop fucking looking at her like that you piece of shit” he snarled, while sending a pain inflicted punch right to the guys face.

“Jesus, what the fuck is your problem” the guy groaned in pain, trying to wipe the blood flowing from his nose.

“What the fuck is wrong with me? How about what the fuck is wrong with you?Who would touch a girl like that without her permission?” Sawyer shouts back protectively, shocking me to my very core. I thought Mr. Bad boy only cared about himself?

“Lay off” the guy grumbles with a sleazy eye roll. Sawyer just shoved him to the side muttering something, causing the guy run off. I’m guessing because he threatened him or something.

He then turns firmly on his heel and prowls right up to me, backing me up against the pale brick wall of the stairwell. The height difference between us was pretty much laughable to the point where even if I was on my tippie-toes i’d still only meet right under his chin. He leaned down enough so we were almost eye to eye, close enough to the point where his minty breath fanned my face sending a shiver down my spine.

“What are you doing?” I question trying not to stutter. The closeness between us is causing my head to feel fuzzy, as if it was only full of air. As well as my hearts erratic beat echoing in my ears.

God what the fuck is going on with me?

“No what are you doing? Coming to school dressed like a slut with your tits practically hanging out of your shirt” he gestures, eyes blazing, you could even feel the heat radiating off his body.

Excuse me?! Yeah, that shaky panic feeling is totally fucking gone now.

“Ok last time I checked my tits aren’t swinging in the damn wind because I’m not like the puttanas you probably sleep with. So how about instead of slut-shaming me for no apparent reason, when actually my tits aren’t on display, you go and get tested for whatever those crabby ass hoes gave you and worry about your own damn self” I snap, getting all up in his space and pushing him out of the way.

I growled under my breath as I stomped frustratingly all the way up the stairs, and roughly pushed the door open to the next floor. Once it shut I fell back against it with a heavy breath, as multiple people walked past me trying to get to classes of their own.

Oh shit. Now I don’t know where i’m fucking going because Sawyer was suppose to show me until he turned into a fucking dickhead.

“Fuck!” I groan, running a hand through my hair with irritation.

“You okay?“, someone asks me, but once I look up and realize it’s one of Sawyers bitches, I just get even more annoyed than I already was.

“Obviously not” I exclaim distressed.

“What’s wrong?” he frowns, walking closer till he’s in front of me with his tattooed arms crossed over his chest.

“I don’t know where I’m going” I laugh trying to keep my angry italian side at bay.

“What room?”

“2304” I read to him from my schedule.

He nods his head to the side, signaling me to follow him, which I do.

After a couple turns I find myself standing in front of a bland oak door with the numbers, 2304, displayed on a name plate on the wall next to it.

“Thank you” I smile full of gratitude, while a huge weight is lifted from my chest as he returns it. The fact that I was a total bitch to him earlier, when he ended up helping me while on top of it all, he also disregarded my attitude makes me feel absolutely horrible.

Before he walks away and out of sight I quickly apologize for it all just hoping he can forgive me, “It’s just I ran into-”

“-Sawyer?” he laughs with a smirk.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” I question.

“He tends to have that effect on people” he chuckles, and I follow a suit. “Plus, I heard you guys fighting in the stairwell. It’s really funny watching his reaction when someone actually has the guts to call him out on his shit because no one ever has” he explains to my bewildered expression.

I go to turn around but he stops my movement, “Just be careful though. I’ve known Sawyer for a long ass time, and he always has to be the alpha. Which entails that he always gets what he wants. He has as a very dangerous level of competition and will stop at nothing, no matter the extent, until he gets it” he warns me, but I don’t understand why.

“An admirable, badass woman like yourself doesn’t deserve to be one of his conquests” he smiles, which I return again. One of his conquests?

Just as he’s about to head back downstairs I yell, “Wait, what’s your name?“.

He spins around with a smirk and hollers back, “Phoenix” and with that, he’s gone.

Hmm, nice guy.

Even though algebra II is much easier than geometry, I still find myself lost in the numerous graphs and formulas they expect us to remember. As I racked my brain for the right formula to solve the equation on the board, I prayed to god she didn’t call on me, since to her, I looked focused on trying to solve the problem.

“Loyal, what’s the answer to this algebraic equation,” she asks calling on me, totally ignoring all the other people who actually have their hands in the air.

Fucking hell, I hate it when teachers fucking pull this bullshit. If a student has their hand up they know the goddamn answer, and if it’s not they either don’t or are trying to still fucking solve it.

I looked down at my scribbler mess of numbers and chose to swing with a possible educated guess, ” Is it 63.79?”

“Excellent, Mrs. Parker” she smiles back while writing my answer on the board and further explaining it. How I got that answer correct, i’ll never know, but the pressure from my anxiety that was building in my chest finally vanished allowing me to finally breathe.

“Wow, good job smarty pants” Sawyer sarcastically remarks, with a teasing smirk as he swings his pencil around his fingers.

I respond with an annoyed eye roll, but besides that ignore him.

That must of bothered him because he caustically adds, “Wow being a bitch just really works for you, huh?“. Trying to get a rise out of me, but I just chose to respond to him. Hoping that he would finally leave me the hell alone, at least for the last couple of minutes.

“Well, at least I can think with the right head?” I seeth, tapping my pencil on the plastic desk.

Checking the time I realized we had like five minutes left so I quickly packed up my things, so I could just leave when the bell rang through the school speakers.

“God, it must be hard to have to keep pretending that your not into me, just stop” he arrogantly remarks, getting lost in his humongous ego. Too bad it isn’t possible to drown in it because if it was, Sawyer would be long gone right about now.

“God, it must be hard to not be feared by absolutely everyone in this school anymore, just suck it up” I mimic, implying that i’m not scared of him. Hoping he gets the message, but he obviously doesn’t when a perplexed expression rolls over his face.

He chuckles, “Yeah okay. You’ve been here two days i’ve been here my entire life. People know what i’m a capable of, unlike you baby” he try’s to intimidatingly threaten, but little does he know it does little to affect me.

Just as the bell rings, I grab my bag and swing it over my bag as I laugh lightly under my breath. I walk over and round his desk, resting my palms flat against it as I lean down making us eye to eye.

“Oh baby, you may have lived here longer than me, and people may fear you because they know who you are and what your capable of, but I just might be much more dangerous than you” I whisper against the crown of his ear, as I gently nudge my nose against the side of his face.

He breathlessly mutters, “Oh really, and how could you possibly think that?”

“Because people here don’t know what i’m capable of” I smirk, lightly kissing his cheek, and I leave him to ponder that as I walk right out the door.

Smirking down at the floor, knowing fairly well that i’ve probably started a very deadly heated game.

But I was more than prepared to get burned.

Hey guys, I’m sorry for not posting for a while I just kinda lost the spark of writing, but it’s growing back don’t worry😂

Also, I’m sorry for the confusion but this story is going under major editing! MAJOR. I’ve had some complaints that some stuff moved to fast and I agree so the new chapter will be showing up in between.

I’m so sorry for the confusion!

-Where are you from?
-What’s your favorite book?

Word Count: 4334

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