Voice In My Head

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Autumn Dean was the typical, invisible, socially awkward girl in high school. No one even noticed her, but add a boy she just met and what do you get? Trouble. I made the cover on Sony, and I also uploaded it to Google, just in case if you want to use it, but give me credit!

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Chapter 1

What did I do to deserve this? Why? does anyone realize my pain? The shy girl that never speaks in class? The top in her grade? The fifteen year old girl that’s camera shy? Socially awkward? No one recognizes me at all. I’m just the extra in the movie, the secondary character in the book. Does my father care about me, ever since Mother died from Leukemia? I don’t know what to do.

First day of school, a freshman, perfect to get picked on, considering I didn’t since I’m so quiet to even get noticed. Teachers don’t even realize I’m here, even when I walk right past them.

“Oh my goodness, Autumn! You’re like a ghost!”

“I didn’t even see you come in, dear!”

“You’re tardy, Dean, sign the late book. You’re not slick.”

Life was terrible for me, Father is always at work, comes home late, don’t even realize that I’m here unless I speak, which is rarely all the time. Am I cursed? Did I do something wrong? Taking my mother away was a part of me that had been lost for almost eight years now. Please, God, give me a sign that my life will soon turn around. He did, and it was a miracle and a curse...

That Monday, I remember it specifically that I had a math quiz in Mr. Agreste’s class for first period, and was my first time being late. I dashed out my house to catch the public bus, but it drove pass as soon as I came out the house. I had to walk to school, which was ten blocks away. I knew a shortcut, so I took it, crying on my way to school. I didn’t know what I gotten myself into that day, because I saw a boy same age as me, dashing to school was well.

He was panting as he ran to the school, his naturally light brown hair gelled into a small bun was moving with him. His wrinkled school uniform symbolizes that he was in a rush, tie was not in place. He had a triangular face with a defined chin that pointed slightly and a sturdy jaw line, making me gush over him. His light blue eyes were small and slightly spaced out evenly, sitting below nicely trimmed eyebrows that just make his face pop out, and seem to curve as a natural extension of his small, rounded nose. His face held forward in a steady gaze, and had an air of slacking around as well. His strong, broad shoulders resembles that he works out at least about three times a week. You could tell that he was a slacker, a prankster in his own way. My intentions wanted me to follow him, and the bit of courage that I had, I did.

I ran to follow the unknown boy, only to have ran into him and dropped my homework, and startled him. I fell as an expected after effect and I rubbed my head. I quickly began to pick up my homework, and was ready to get up from the ground, assuming that the boy went away, leaving me all by myself. I felt my eyes water and I thought horrible thoughts of slicing myself once again.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I saw his broad, irregular sized hand come towards me, and I took the kind gesture. I had realized that he didn't leave. I try to hold my tears back and I am not able to.

"Hey...why are you crying? You are too adorable to cry...I am sure your boyfriend wouldn't like that, wouldn't he?"

I felt my heart skip a beat, then I immediately felt myself suffering from the sweetness of this boy's kindness. I was never complimented before, no one ever assumed that I dated anyone before, not that I am. This boy is on a whole 'nother level...

"I've never saw you around here before, I'm Sebastian."

I was lost in his light blue eyes, his eyes were like pools, that I just want to dive in and stay in forever. His intense eyes just staring into my soul made me shiver down my spine in a good way. I knew God sent me him, the Sebastian I was looking for.

I was timid when I spoke, never speaking to anyone rather than my father, and as told, I rarely do. My voice was nearly like a whisper to him.

"Hi, my name is Autumn..."

"Sorry I didn't hear you..."

His hand still grasped mines, his warm, soft hand made me feel safe from the density of the world. It felt...so bad and so good at the same time like I was breaking the rules of society. Him, apparently in my perspective, an angel that was answering my recent prayers and finally putting attention on me for once. I was elated, but yet I was scared. The scars that I have performed on my body need to disappear. I am willing to change, willing to put myself out there, my confusion on whether or not to be noticed soon withering away. The impact of my feelings were hitting me like a damn truck. Should I jump or stay behind and not take the risk?

"My name is Autumn..."

He then smiled at me sweetly, his straightened smile dramatically in my imagination shone and I immediately felt butterflies in my stomach. Was this my destiny, the future I was looking for? I just met the guy and I feel safe beneath his arms, his sight. Feels like I am moving too fast. We only just met each by my clumsiness and lack of brain functioning.

"You have a quiz in Mr. Agreste's class, Autumn, for first?"

I shook my head in agreement, obeying the confident voice of Sebastian's, like he got me under his spell already and we only known each other in under five minutes.

"Well, come on! We're already late anyway."

He took my hand, and I followed his command, under the boy's spell. Why am I like this? Usually I don't even talk to anyone. This is the first time that I even uttered a sentence to anyone, to my surprise.

We arrived at the math teacher's door, and got ready for an angry Mr. Agreste on the way in.

"Where have you been Mr. Darwin, and who is this with you, a prostitute?! Maybe you are trying to disobey me like all the other times you did! Get out my classroom!"

I felt embarrassed as the entire classroom laughed at Mr. Agreste's words. Sebastian then smirked at me, and it was like I knew what that mischievous boy was about to do, but I suddenly spoke up.

"Yeah, Mr. Agreste, I'm a prostitute, but would a prostitute come to school? Would a prostitute know that a math quiz was today? I'm Autumn Dean, god damnit!"

People then ouued at my words in response to the anger I was having. Sebastian just looked shocked, but that didn't matter. He was now my key to not committing suicide to myself. If Sebastian wouldn't have never helped me, if I have never tried to follow him, if I would have never gathered up the bit of courage that I had left to even run up towards him...

I would've have killed myself without anyone noticing that I have died, and it would have been drastic for my father. Guess what, mother? I am not ready to die yet. I finally found who I am suppose to be, and that is me...

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