Oil and Water
It didn’t take long for Eunice to notice things were back to ice cold between them. She couldn’t break free of the stoicism he sulked and resented her for.
“I don’t like this black and white behavior. You DID this! I AM that! I’m a bully! You are selfish!” Sam shouted at her.
“Sam I don’t react well to your all or nothing attitude,” she said, looking right through him. She wondered if he knew how his body language changed, when he became adversarial.
“I’m sorry. Todd getting out of the hospital or the ongoing investigation is bothering me,” Sam said.
“I’m not sure you understand, what your behavior does to my psyche. Maybe I do suffer undiagnosed depression,” she said. It wasn’t the first time she used her mother’s mental illness as deflection. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever been clinically depressed.
“Just because you aren’t the jealous type, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be jealous of Terrence? Not everyone is built the same way Eunice,” he said.
“How come no one else thinks I’m a bad person Sam?” she asked. No one was going to tell her, who she couldn’t see. Silly fool!
“They don’t see you at home. Your talent is acting out another person for them,” he said.
“Maybe you’re right Sam. Maybe I lack empathy. What do you want me to do, fake real empathy?” she asked, avoiding eye contact. Empathy was her weakness. She hated the idea of being soft.
“Forget it! I’m going to Todd’s, to play videogames,” he said.
“Oh my God, you are so jealous of Terrence!” she said, knowing he hated it when she called him jealous.
“You choose to stay in your iceberg and busy yourself with friends. I care about people a little more. Let’s not pretend we are EQUAL in that regard Eunice!” he shouted.
“Okay, Okay stop making such a big deal out of it,” she said. He was right though. She did not care deeply about individual people.
“Like you said, Terrence and your friends have no issues with you. I honestly think your life would be rosy, if Terrence lived here with you!” Sam said, with a twisted expression of hurt.
“Don’t you trust me? Your reactions tell me you don’t,” she bit her lower lip. He seemed to wince with desire.
Damn he was cute!
Terrence loved who he thought she was. Sam loved her behind the scenes, the good and bad. That was special, she just couldn’t bring herself to let him know it. That would expose her weakness and she would probably die.
“Eunice I just want to say it’s taken a toll on me! I don’t sleep well. My heart hasn’t been interested in seeing movies or trying for sex,” he said.
She heard the coldness in his voice, as if he were finally moving on. Maybe he’d learned a few self-preservation tricks from her.
“Oh come on Sam, you can’t blame me for your lackluster motivation, or your life in shambles,” she gave him a dead-eyed stare. She couldn’t let him win.
“You cannot use ‘not motivated’ anymore. I’ve got lots going on. Remember when you told me to get a hobby, so I’d stop picking on you? Well I did!” he said.
She wasn’t hell bent on being right for a change. It hurt her to be ugly and antagonize him but she had little control over it.
“Terrence doesn’t make me feel bad about myself like you do,” Eunice said quietly. “I forgive you for not understanding how you hurt me. I asked you to give me some time. If I must suddenly end my friendships, you need to give me space,” Eunice said.
“I’m going to help Max at Home Depot now. Talk to you later Eunice!” he slammed the door on his way out.