Waiting for Tonight

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Tea Leaves

Later she and Arpita were having ginger lemon tea, “Do you understand every concept Kavi talks about?” Eunice asked.

“Kavi says enlightenment, is noticing our behavior as if we are seeing a play and we are the actor,” Arpita said.

“Well said. I get the part where, your movie is different than my movie but it’s a lot to take in. Arpita I think you’re trying to break my brain!” Eunice said, laughing while taking a sip of tea. “All I know is, Nina is a selfish drunken slut, who would do anything for a record deal but I’m really not like her…” Eunice stopped. She hadn’t meant to reveal she wasn’t Nina but she felt open enough with her to say it.

“It’s an evolution. Don’t think about it all at once,” Arpita said, without questioning anything about identity.

Arpita would not know if Dougie dabbled in crime, or maybe wouldn’t care.

“Amongst my friends, if I suspect my tendency is to sound harsh or abrupt, I’ll look at myself from an outside perspective and ask myself, Will they feel good, bad or indifferent?” Arpita said.

“I’ll never remember to do that. You know so much,” Eunice said, feeling down about her inability to evolve.

“I hit a point where my true self began shining through. She isn’t afraid of what others think. On good days I remember tapping into her qualities. On bad days I don’t. It’s liberating to admit you feel envy for example. I now know I can be envious without it being a surprise or shameful,” Arpita said.

“That’s incredible,” Eunice said.

“Bitter feelings drain my energy. The miracle is I’ve become more comfortable in my own skin knowing I’m growing,” Arpita smiled.

“I like how Kavi knew how to challenge me without my knowing it. I was telling him I find Sam talks too much. Then he asked me what the opposite of that was. I said, ‘What? I talk too much or I don’t talk enough.’ How have you not fallen for him again?” Eunice asked.

“Surely you get intimate feelings with someone who knows inside your mind. You can call it love. It’s a devotion to a common belief,” Arpita said.

If that were the case Eunice felt love for both Arpita and Kavi. She might not have connected any dots yet but she forgave herself for the mess she had made.

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