Give it to Me
Sam and Eunice lay in bed chatting. The friction, anger and resentment between them seemed to be gone. “I’m not good at reading between the lines or interpreting meanings from non-verbal stuff. I can be a big dummy Eunice but I’d like to be your big dummy if you’ll let me,” Sam said.
“Being away has really opened my eyes. There were times I felt these funky vibrations all over my body. Physical ones that made me feel outside myself! It’s hard to explain right now but I’ll share them with you one day. I guess my point is I’ve been having sensations and feelings I’ve never had before,” Eunice said.
“I’ve already noticed,” he said.
“I didn’t think of home while I was away. Well not that much anyway. I was a complete woman living each day as a regular Memphis citizen. I will say I am sorry I didn’t tell you I was having memory gaps. I understand them better now. It’s not really memory, it’s more like a preference for horse blinders. Purposeful distraction or something,” she said, holding his gaze as she spoke.
“Eunice I understand why you didn’t tell me you were having memory gaps. I did a lot of things anyone would want to forget. I’m guilty of treating you terribly. By denying your memory gaps I assumed you were purposely lying and pushing me away,” he said.
When she held his hand she got a mild stomach cramp. She figured it was a physical symptom of loving him, “I learned from Kavi, that guru in Tennessee that I had to think in baby steps. Put the training wheels on to ride my bike. I’ll always need to work on staying in the present moment with you and facing uncomfortable things head on,” she said. She marveled in her ability to feel but also put them into words.
“Okay. Maybe I seemed more upset than I was. I’m so relieved you are here beside me. I never once thought you were dead. I didn’t know how it would play out but I knew you’d come back to me,” he said.
It hadn’t crossed her mind being gone hurt him so much. She thought no one could really love her.
“You must find it funny I don’t show a wide range of emotion. At least now I’ll recognize when I go numb. The when is something I can work on. The why may never be solved,” she said.
“Eunice I never wanted someone with wide ranging emotions so there’s no pressure. I just wanted to know how to communicate and understand how you feel sometimes. I won’t push for feelings but I ask you to remember one thing. I want to get to know you,” he said.
“I swear I’ve been through a portal to my insides. Maybe it’s true what every self-help book says, we all carry childhood baggage. The bottom line is I’m no angel and I took you for granted. I’ve been a cold uncaring person on the outside but I’ve discovered I’m more sensitive than I thought inside. All this rambling to say, I do love you Sam. You’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever known!” Eunice said.
“Okay then believe that I love you too. It’s only fair you should believe it. You are worth all of my love. Connection is love,” Sam said.
Reunited she felt confident they would find common ground in similarities, rather than differences this time around. Maybe they were soul mates each with a protective fortress around them. It was high time to amalgamate the house. It was time to roll one house up the hill and tether it to the other house. It was time connect the floors and ceilings without perfection even if they weren’t aligned. They could build mini staircases to bridge the house together.
This is no ordinary love.
This house is extraordinary.
Sam and Eunice together forever.