Chapter 19: Goodbyes Are The Worst
After visiting Chela's little grave that was set up I went to find Cathal to tell him of what Benjamin found out.
Benjamin was so aesthetic when he found out about my pregnancy. He kept saying it's alright for a girl my age in werewolf world and who's the father yaddy ya dah. I asked him to not tell anyone in camp till I figure it out. He politely agreed.
I heard footsteps and turned around to see ML and her goons. I ran up to her hugging her tight. She returned it greedily.
"I'm so sorry for your lost. Chela was surely something," ML said bending down slightly due to our hight difference.
"You were her mate, I wish you guys had a longer time together. You didn't deserve this," I said pulling back. She smiled sadly at me.
Behind her a few feet back was Cathal standing staring at me. He waved his hand over to him. I excused myself from ML and walked over the where he was.
He quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me was on the edge of camp.
"Cathal what are you doing," I asked as we made way to where ever he was pulling me to.
"We are going to train more, even more then before. We can take any chances," he said turning to me grabbing my shoulders lightly.
I ripped my hand away from him looking down. "Cathal I-I can't well for starters my eye is patched up along with half of my face and-and."
He looked kindly in my eyes. "It's alright we'll get past it and we will get threw this damned thing and—"
"Cathal I'm pregnant."
He stopped talking letting go of my shoulders. He took a slight step back.
"Your what," he asked his voice straining.
I sniffles and looked away from him, I couldn't bare seeing the disappointment in his eyes. "I am pregnant. Just found out today to. Hurray."
We fell in silent only the rustles of the leaves were heard.
"It's the humans...isn't it," Cathal finally spoke.
I nodded. "And I don't know what to do, he's dead. And if the camp finds out—oh I don't want to know what they'll do when they find out."
I collapsed to the ground sobbing. I felt arms going around me cradling me. I sobbed harder in Cathal's embrace, I tightly held onto his shirt.
"Cathal I don't know what to do," I said between sobs.
It fell silent again and my sobbing had stopped.
"Say they're mine," Cathal murmured in my hair. I stiffened in his embrace.
I pushed him backwards slightly to look at his face to check if he was joking. No he wasn't. I shook my head.
"No you can't, it would ruin your reputation. People would think you were one of those peto people. Or a rapist. I can't do that to you."
"But if you said the father was a human, the werewolves would never trust you. Please let me do this for you. And the people would easily believe in the lie that we'd do. They already made suspicions. We are stronger as one you can not lie about that."
I thought about what he had said, true that they would never trust me again if they knew the truth. But it would ruin him if we tell the lie.
"If you want to think of it another way, it would allow me to be a father again," Cathal pitched in with a semi smirk.
"Fine. We'll lie, okay? But I don't think it will work till the end of time. At some point the truth will come out and we won't be able to stop it."
"Good and no one must know of this lie even Benton, deal," Cathal asked holding his hand out for me to shake.
I looked at it for a second. This is the only time I could back out. But I won't
I took it shaking it, "Deal."
Does birthing hurt? Like living hell. It has been six months since I found out, six months till people heard the Cathal was the father, six months when we started to lie to everyone.
After Cathal had announced that I was with pup and he was the father, everyone was not happy at all. Even Benton gave us a disappointed look.
Turns out for werewolves they shift in their wolf form to give birth cause they can have up to five pups. Benjamin said not to worry about that though because that doesn't usually happen to first time mothers.
Well yeah, tell that to my pups.
And another thing, my left eye. Because of whatever was Caesar's knife it messed up my eye. No not like vision the color of it. Except of the hazel eye that was there it was my golden wolf eye.
I got out of my thoughts of recapping everything that happened to me over the six months when the Theta and Leta came in. With two of my five pups in their hands.
"What about the others," I questioned, still laying down on the ground of the den nursery.
They laid down the pups against my body. The pups wiggles against my furred body. The pups started to need my side.
Benjamin looked down. "Sorry the others didn't make it. These two were the only ones who survived. Do you still want me to bring them in so you can still name them?"
I couldn't speak, all I was able to do was nod my head slowly. He walked away leaving me in the nursery with a few other females with their pups.
I looked down at mine, one was female while the other was male. The female was the purest white with her right side of her face was black. The male was as black as midnight the left side of his face was white. Their face matched together like a perfect puzzle piece, they were beautiful and the mean everything to me already.
Well they are no pup of mine
Don't be so cold
I told you don't mess with that human boy and you did it! This is what happens when you mess with something you don't understand! Now three of your pups are dead who knows how else Moon Goddess will punish you. And Caesar will some how some way find out about them and kill themed
I couldn't reply to her, she was right. I didn't know what else the Moon Goddess will punish me or if Caesar will find out about them. Benjamin walked back in with three limp pups in his arms.
He knelt in front of me placing them gently on the ground.
I looked at each of them, the first one was black as night with white front paws and white spots on its back. "Charcoal," I pointed my nose at that pup. I looked at the next one it was rusted copper her back paw was slightly twisted around. "Liv," I pointed my nose to her. The last pup was smaller then the others, most likely the runt of the litter. He had the purest brown fur with black tipped ears and tail. "Manny," I said lastly brushing the pup softly wishing he would wake from his eternal sleep.
I looked down at my two live ones. "The male will be Yin and the female will be Yang."
Benjamin nodded and grabbed Liv, Charcoal, and Manny. "Do you want me to bring the father in," he questioned.
"Uh yeah, yes please," I said.
He quickly left and Cathal came in with his wolf form. He looked down at the two wiggling pups against my side. He payed down the ground beside me.
"They're gorgeous," he whispered.
I smiled lazily at him, "Yes they are. The male, black one, his name is Yin and the female is Yang. And they're ours."
He let out a deep chuckle and rolling his eyes slightly. "I suppose. Get rest you need it," he said he stood up licking the tip of my ear before walking out.
I laid my head against my front paws but before I could close my eyes I saw Amy's wolf come in.
She looked around first to check if the other mothers were asleep yet and they were. She looked straight at me with sorrowful eyes.
She let a breath of air out before she spoke, "I know Cathal isn't the father but that human boy you met awhile back."
I stiffened my eyes widened at her. I curled my body and tail around my pups trying to hide them as best as I could. My eyes roamed around the den nursery.
"Don't worry I won't tell," she said seeing my anxiety in my eyes.
"Please don't tell—wait...you won't. Why you hate me. Ever since I came into camp."
She hung her lowly. "I don't hate you, I never did. I just... don't like the hunter part of you," she looked in my eyes. "My parents were mauled by hunters in front of me eyes when I was young. You have hunter blood running in you and that just kind of set me off, you know? I don't exactly expect you to forgive me but I just wanted you to know. I owe you my life, you saved me even though I tried to kill you. You are someone worth saving time and time again. I will do anything you ask."
I looked at her in awestruck. I thought about what she said my gears in my mind shifting.
I could no—
If you love your pups you would
But I can't—
Don't be selfish they WILL have a better life
"What I'm about to ask you is something big. You may reject my asking," I said in a serious voice.
She looked at me wide eyed. "I will do anything you ask."
"Be the mother I can not be for my pups."
Her eyes even widened bigger then before, "Wait you want me to do what?"
"Caesar if he finds out I had pups he would try to kill them. That can not happen. I can't let my pups know I'm their mother. They will be safer without me, please do this for me," I looked down at the squiggling pups.
"Alright I will," she replied in a hush voice.
"But the question is how," I thought out loud looking down.
"Two Fox shifters owe me their life as well a witch I have saved from a pack of rogues. The fox shifters can pretend to take the pups and the witch can change up the memories a bit making me look pregnant with pups and make a sent trail of the pups leading away from camp. She can also give me herbs to help feed the pups too."
"Yes that can work."
Amy looked deep into my eyes, "If we follow threw with this plan you do know that the pups will and should never know that you were their mother. And later on in life there's a fifty fifty chance they will find out. Are you willing to give up mother hood and the possibility of your pups probably hating you?"
I closed my eyes thinking of a life where Caesar didn't exist and I could raise my pups healthy happy and strong, along side with Nicolas. I opened my eyes and saw the pups. I knew if I kept them they will never grow up safe and happy only scared and in harms way.
"Yes we'll do it at midnight," I said sadly.
She nodded, "I'll get the witch and Fox shifters ready." She brushed my check lightly with her tail. "Hey your doing the right thing for your pups."
She walked out of the den. That's when I broke down sobbing and holding my pups close to me.
"Psst Phoenix wake up we're ready."
My eyes fluttered open to see Amy in her wolf, two foxes, and a young girl.
"The fox shifters need to have the pups sent on them so is it okay if the nestle with the pups while the witch explains the plan to you," Amy asked me.
I nodded getting up from my spot letting the Fox shifters take my place.
The witch had to look up at me to look me in the eyes. She gulped nervously.
"So uh—sorry so far I have added memories that Amy was pregnant with pup in everyone's mind. I will need the pups sent to make a sent trail. I will also change the sent of your pups to so the camp won't know it's them. And the idea is that you woke up seeing two Fox shifters in the den and they jumped you but you put up a fight, you'll have to let them bite and scratch you, and they took your pups and ran off. You then will alert the camp scream or yelling 'They have stolen my pups' or at least something like that. The sent trail will lead them off since it will go straight to the river. Alright?"
I looked back at my pup and saw their squiggling body's agains the Fox shifters. I squeezed my eyes shut, making sure I don't back down from this.
"Yes," I replied after letting out a breath of air.
The witch nodded. She got the attention of the two foxes and waved them over here. They slowly got up to not disturb the sleeping pups and trotted over here.
"Give miner wounds to her while I work on my stuff," the witch said walking over to the pups.
"Sorry for everything," one of the foxes said.
"Yeah I hate Caesar with a passion, he destroys never fixes," the other said.
"But we know you'll defeat him. Your the only one who will be able to put smart the fox," they said in unison.
Before I could even process on what they said one bit my foreleg and the other scratched my muzzle.
This went on for a few seconds, the witch told the foxes to stop and she got up. She reached into her satchel she was carrying and brought out two dead rabbits. She got out something else and sprinkled it over the rabbits saying a chant.
She quickly gave each rabbit to a Fox shifters. The Fox shifters ran quickly away from the scene.
The witch gathered all her stuff giving Amy something to eat. And quickly left following after the foxes.
I turned to look at Amy walking over to the pups. She sniffed at them. "Yeah their sent is different," she mumbled to herself, she looked up at me. "So this is it, want to say anything before you give an alert?"
I went over to the pups bending down to them so my nose was in between them. "Yin, Yang make sure to always protect one another. Always stay true to yourself. Always know that your loved no matter what. I will love you more then anything else in this world even life itself. I love you both so much," tears stung my eyes as I said that.
I got up and went to rustle up a bed of moss that Amy made for me. I made sure to make some of my blood go on the moss.
I looked over at Amy again, she was curled up against the pups having her eyes closed making her look asleep.
I looked at my pups sorrowful one last time. I blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall.
"My pups! My pups! They took my pups," I screamed as loud as I could. My voice broke as I finally let a few tears free.