I wanted to talk to him, I needed to talk to him. But when I finally got the chance he was gone. Vanished. I felt like I had been shot, stabbed, and torn to pieces. It suddenly seemed a matter of life or death, I had to find him! I asked around and but no one knew who he was, they hardly could stay focused long enough for me to ask them before they went off about the weather or fashion. I really was feeling frantic, how could I ever find him? I needed to talk with him…
As a rode home in our carriage, I was ready to explode. I never had felt so angry before, I know it was foolish but I saw him as my savior, the one who would free me from all this. The one who would take my hand and lead me into the real world; he was so different from other men. So different from any man I had ever admired or "loved", he was real. He was alive. How did I know this? I'm not sure, I just felt it, saw it in the way he stood, the way he looked at me. Yes, he looked right into my eyes for a few moments, but unlike everyone else, he didn't stare. It made me feel amazing; it was almost like he didn't notice my beauty. I mean how sad it that! I could tell how different he was because he could look at me and then look away, he could leave without having to dragged away by an angry wife or lover, he could leave without trying to say a word to me. I stayed up most of the night thinking about him, fantasizing about how he would sweep me off my feet and we would run away together to some place safe, some place real. Just the thought of him made my heart skip a beat; I was in love with him before I had even met him. How was that even possible?! It didn't seem very logical, but I had already lost it- he was so different he had to be able to save me from this!
I saw him the very next day. I can't even begin to describe how I felt, I has so happy, like everything in the world suddenly okay, like I could just relax because he would take care of everything. I managed to escape my followers and slowly made my way over to him- I hope he couldn't see how much I wanted to talk to him.
"How are you doing?" I asked casually as I came up beside him.
"Good." He mumbled quietly, not unconfidently- just shy, almost uninterested.
"That's good...my name's Deirdre." I said, feeling a little awkward but I was confident. Even the shyest men would talk to me after a day or two...
"What's your name?" I asked after a few moments of silence.
"Nice to meet you!" I wanted to say more but my mother rushed up and pulled me away, chattering about some new bachelor. I was so happy to have spoken with him, with Tristan, that even she couldn't put me in a bad mood. Tristan. What a beautiful name! I couldn't wait to talk to him again, I knew how ridiculous I was being but I couldn't help it. This is what I'd been looking for, a guy who I had to fight for to get.
It was two days until I saw him next. I almost gave myself a heart attack because I wanted to see him so much; I was so nervous and restless that my heart leaped into my mouth whenever I saw someone that even distantly resembled him. It scared me a little that he could have that much affect on me but I really didn't care enough to try to do anything about it.
I saw him at a ball, there he was- standing alone again. I rushed over as soon as I could.
"Hi Tristan." He smiled, if he said anything I couldn't hear him.
"You enjoying the dance?" I asked, trying to start some kind of conversation. He shrugged.
"Yeah, same here. They aren't as fun as everyone says..." I trailed off, why wouldn't he talk to me?
"Well, I'll see you later..." He smiled as I left. That was even worse than last time! I thought as I walked away. I frowned, this was going to be harder than I thought! But I would get him to talk...now it was not only a matter of my feelings but also my – my what? Pride? Or was it just that I liked a challenge? I wasn't even sure but it didn't matter, it all confirmed that I had to get him to talk to me. Maybe if I said something stunning, something brilliant, or even just something strange that would surprise him. He would have so say something then, right?
I wandered off, hoping to escape for a few moments to gather my thoughts and maybe even start planning what I would say to him next. I had to think of something, what if he was the only one who could save me? I just had to get him to talk to me, I had to.