A Lovely School for Ugly Pickpockets

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Social Studies

I made my way quickly to the grinning git at the bar, intending on collecting my winnings.

“That was easy!” I lied as I regained my seat and took a long sip of my drink, trying to appear complacent over the entire affair.


He said unhappily, not bothering to reach for his billfold!

“ Knew the twit was gullible, but not that stupid, she never caught on, did she now? So You were just lucky then that’s all !? ”

“I was a bit lucky” I admitted.

“But it does prove true what I was saying earlier, and if a rank armature like me could pull it off, then just think about what a regular thief could do, rather proved my point, don’t it now!”

He drained his glass and set it down sharply before responding…

“It’s not Cricket guv.”

He singled to the Barkeep by fidgeting with his empty glass, ordering another. Just for himself, apparently buying others a drink was not in this Blokes mindset, as well as paying off his depts!

He looked at me…

“Ya know Guv, I was just remembering there was a telly show where these were ladies marooned on an island. They got all themselves’ gussied up one evening with one of them dancing with this bloke she knew was a thief. She knew, and he still was able to take her necklace while dancing with her, as you did with that four-eyed twit! I would not have bet you if I had remembered that sooner. If he could do it, then I should have known any bloke could do so!”

I smirked to myself, I had seen that show also once, though I knew it was not a reality show but had been scripted with the actress being quite aware her necklace was going to be lifted ahead of time. I wondered if this blighter knew the difference!?

By the way, he still was grasping my £20, I realized that not only was the weasel not going to pay me for winning, but he was also making it look like I had cheated him to keep it!

“Bye the bye, what do you do now with her necklace guv?”

He asked accusingly, looking down at his fresh drink.

“Or are you one of them telly thieves… Maybe I should call the bobbies!?”

As he said this, he nonchalantly pocketed away my money!

I inwardly sighed…

“No worries lad, I’m just a jeweler like I said, I’ll turn it over to security at the door, found it just laying here on the floor don’tcha know sir… !”

“Security will return it to the lady, no harm done!”

Then, with a co-conspirator’s smile, I lied again...

“As I said me, lad, it’s a cheap bit of rhinestones! Otherwise, I probably would have been too nervous to accomplish it!”

He hesitated before answering, his eyes with a faraway look in his eyes!

I found myself wondering if this prig was contemplating trying to get more of my money!

This thought prompted me to say something, and as luck would have it, it turned out to be the key to opening up the whole affair!

I said, “Look, Mate, your right, she hasn’t even caught on like that lady you mentioned seeing saw on that ‘telly’ show!”

We both looked over at the lady in green. She had reappeared, joining a group at the far end, and no one is actually aware of anything amiss, let alone her innocent self!

Though I had to admit that I found the necklace’s absence from around her throat quite a glaring concern… But I remained calm about it!

The longer she took to notice, the less likely she would connect its loss with our dance, I reasoned with myself, almost feeling into the part of a suave jewel thief one sees acting out in the movies!

Turning to my co-conspirator, I admitted…

“Perhaps you are right, I may have made that wager knowing it was easy!”

He looked at me suspiciously, but I continued…

“Look now, I tell you, lad, women think their jewels are safe whilst being worn. The last thought any of em would suspect is that someone can lift their jewels off and be away..! That’s my theory on how thieves with light fingers could operate on in my humble opinion, and not only just to win ten quid on a bet!”.

I could tell that something was churning about in my now, quite liquored, friend’s narrow mind.

He turned his eyes back to our black-haired, hazel-eyed victim wearing the shiny green gown!

“Okay guv, you got away with it this time!”

“Tell you what lad,” I said turning the heat up on the situation as I pulled my wallet from a breast pocket, and counted out pound notes...

“Let us make it up to you! One hundred quid says you can do the same as I did!”

He picked up his drink, taking thoughtful sips, still studying my face, as his mind continued churning things about, before finally asking…

“And if I lose?”

I smiled, knowing the hook had been set!

“If you lose, then I will pay you twenty quid. So you will win no matter what happens, laddie!”

“Actually guv two Hundred if I win, that how sure you are I could do it? “

I whistled softly under my breath for emphasis, ”That’s about all I have !” I lied, appearing a bit hesitant.

“Com’ on Guv, a rich jeweler like yourself!” He nudged me again, and let out a snide cackle, a new cigarette dangling from a sneering lip.

“Anything but rich mate, but you are on!”

I pend my billfold and counted out the additional £100 in a pile, letting him eye up for a few seconds, the nicely thick pile of notes!

“All Yours,” I said,” if you dare try and are successful!”

I reached out my hand, he did not take it

“ And I pick the broad, right mate?” he stated.

“As long as it is not my lass in green” I answered.

He nodded in agreement, finally shaking my hand

And I shook his hand, watching a rather foxy grin spread all over his Weasley face, he openly drooled over the healthy pile of pound notes, his sodden cigarette bouncing up and down quite vigorously in his pursed lips.

Any idiot could see that he was up to something!


Next U

Chapter 7

The A Levels Test

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