A Lovely School for Ugly Pickpockets

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The A Levels Test

Not a good poker player, are ye lad I thought to meself, keeping my face in an easy grin that no way betrayed what I was actually thinking!

^^^

Feigning Curiosity, though I knew the answer I asked him…

“Whom do you have in mind?” I asked looking around with a conspirator’s aire?”

Soon I spied a rather easy mark of a gangly young lass, admirably wearing a tawny coloured taffeta gown, her tightly worn frock appearing as slick an easy a material to slip away jewelry from as the green gown my victim was wearing so winningly!

And this lass was wearing a simple, longish string of polished faux pearls, fastened with an uncomplicated hook –in-eye clasp! An easy, light necklace just begging to be lifted!

Now actually curious as to his seeing what this blighter’s reaction would be to this, I nodded his attention over in her direction, drawing his eyes from the money pile!

“That fetching lass over there in brown, one with the pearls, looks to be an easy enough one, don’t you think? Would you be eye’ in that one then?”

Not surprisingly, He shook his head no…

“Nah, as I said, I’ll choose one to my liking!”!”

As he said this, I watched as his eyes sought out and then nodded in the direction of a particular lass I had suspected he would choose…

“There, that one in blue near to your pearl hanger!” he smirked, “the one dancing with the prat in white!”

I looked over and acted as if I had just noticed her, though it had been pretty obvious that she was the one my ‘friend’ had had a watchful eye on all evening.

She was a diminutive lass, rather provocatively wearing a short sky bright blue dress of sleek silk, tightly outlining her rather pleasingly curved figure!

She was also openly sporting a nice collection of diamonds!

Authentic diamonds consisting, of a rather eye-catching bib like, 3 tiered necklaces that blazingly rippled fiery sparkles from around her throat!

Matching tiered earrings and bracelets, all equally glittering and sparkling with priceless prickles of colourful fire as she moved about almost completed the show!

She also was wearing a vulgarly large friendship diamond on her pinky, but all her other fingers were bare!

Openly appearing somewhat doubtful he could pull it off, I also kept mum about the fact her jewels being risky real, I wished him good luck!

Because, for one, mine at least obligingly had her necklace laid entirely along the collar of her gown, but this one in blue had a ruffled scooped collar, her necklace laid out above totally on the bare skin of her throat!

Granted the skin glistened with a bit of sweat, which may make it a bit more doable!

The pearls would have been much easier for him!

This one, I wouldn’t have picked her for a first attempt! Not even a second or third attempt!

It would take a master thief ( if they actually existed) to lift away that necklace off from a girl dressed as such! And despite all my assurances to my drinking mate, he was no master at anything, even sober, the caddish prig...!

That money may be as good as mine if I could pry his hands from it!!

But, in the seconds that my mind played this out, he had quickly gotten up and beelined to her, cutting in abruptly and sending her Brad Pitt look-alike dance partner, the one wearing the unfortunate white tux, scuttling off.

Subtly was not a virtue of that lad! “Bull in a china shop that one!” I whispered unbelievingly under my breath as I ordered one last Irish whiskey neat…

I watched with wonder as they danced, the lit limp dangling cigarette blowing curling hazy smoke into her face, and she scrunched her nose unhappily each time it did.

He made her dance close and had wrapped one hand, snake-like, up and around her shoulder, his lips whispering close in her ears.

She looked rather like a skittish colt but surprisingly appeared accepting of her unfortunate fate of a dance partner.

But, by Jove, despite all his cheekiness, lack of sophistication and his victim’s unease, the twit actually started to pull it off!

His hand traveled up along her backside until it reached flesh and gruffly trying to pry open her necklaces jeweled clasp.

I really don’t know how she never felt it.

But she didn’t and before one could blink (or wince), he had the jeweled clasp worked opened and had pulled the glittering necklace of diamonds moving with a shimmer up and over her slick silk covered shoulder!

His backside was now to me, and I watched the necklace, like a shimmering waterfall, drip dangling down from his fist behind her! Its glittering diamonds back-dropped nicely by the blue coloured shiny material of her dress. Surprisingly, no one else saw it in the seconds before he managed to stow it roughly away in a side jacket pocket!

I watched him turn her around in his arms until he was able to make eye contact with me, and I saw him give me quite the ‘thumbs up’ look of triumph.

He then abruptly left her, the half-drunk twit not even bothering to finish the song even, that much was he in hast to collect his pile of £200 in winnings!

And in that haste to make it back to the money pile, pretty much plowed over the green gowned lass standing in his way! The same one whose purloined necklace was now residing in my pocket!

As I saw this happing, I reached into that pocket and reassuringly felt that necklace with me fingers as I was watching it all unfold...

Now, so abrupt was the encounter on the dance floor, that the poor lass’s heavy glasses were knocked off, and she stumbled against him as she bent down to retrieve them... He pushed her unsteady figure aside, as she looked up to him for unoffered assistance, causing her to fall onto her knees.

As others came to her rescue, he walked away without a backward glance, and came over to me, smirking widely with an arrogant, self-satisfied look upon his (rather punchable at that point ) smug face.

I felt sorry for the lass in green as she picked up her gasses and was helped up by none other than cock robin in the red vest!

But red-faced with embarrassment, she left him standing there, and rushed off to take refuge in the ladies’ loo. Holding her glasses, squinting her eyes she ran up against a few guests as she scurried away in humiliating retreat!

Pay it up lad he said with a rather churlish grin… and I uneasily picked up the thick pile of notes and handed it to him.

I felt like saying something about his rudeness to the green satin gowned lass, but since I had been a rude one myself when I took her necklace, I let that sleeping dog lay quiet like.

Instead, I freely lied …

“Nicely done, old chap “Don’t forget to turn it in, I am sure the lady will eventually be a missing that very pretty piece!”

He slapped me on the backside as he gleefully counted my £ 200 worth of pound notes, looking all the world like a crafty cat who had eaten the gilded canary!

“No worries guv, she’ll get it back in due course!”

He was so sure of himself during the whole endeavor that I suppose warning bells should have been going off like gangbusters, but I gave no outward sign, my demeanor remaining icy calm, not an easy trick I will say, especially at that place and time!

I Just causally rose, and shaking his greasy, sweaty palm ( the one not tightly holding me money), lied again by sayin…

“Smartly played mate!”

I turned on me heel, my back to the bloke and walked off not looking back, letting out a long sigh of relief.

I had actually pulled the bloody spur of the moment scheme off!

I looked out onto the dance floor, marveling in the richly adorned dancers who her swishing and swirling about!

However, gone from the scene was a diminutive lass in blue, and still missing was my dance partner in green with the thick glasses!

I knew that off the pair of loos there was a back exit leading the rear parking lot, and I suspected she may have fled the ballroom using that as an escape.

“Pity.”, I said to myself, would have liked to have had a final look over at her, and her fine green-clad figure, lit under those dance floor lights one last time…!

So, I just continued dispassionately on, making my way back to the far side of the enormous chamber…

Quickly losing meself back amongst the throngs of gaily dressed, well liquored, unknowing partiers who were circling around the rest of the chamber…

Almost home I murmured happily…!

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Next Up

Chapter 8

Grading on a Curve

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