Changing my future

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Chapter 10 - Lafrim is Broken

“Father are you here” Lafrim called

“Remember be quiet” Aldred said shutting the door behind him

“Yes Lafrim we are here” Aldred said

“What the bloody hell are the northmen doing here?” Lafrim asked

“They always try every so often” Aldred replied

“But why now?” Lafrim asked

“I have no idea, have you brought everyone here?” Astra asked

“I have, why did you want me to bring them here?” Lafrim asked

“Because here is easier to defend , bring them all in, we are safer in here and we will get them all food” Astra said

“Yes mother” Lafrim said “Alfred bring them in” Lafrim said and I watched through a crack in the door Alfred walk to the door and bring everyone in

“Alfred I wish to talk to you” Aldred said “if you don’t mind Lafrim” he added

“Of course go ahead” Lafrim said

“In here” Aldred said leading Alfred into the room that I was in

“Freyja you are alive, I am glad that lord Aldred got to you in time,” he said

“Does he know?” Aldred asked

“No my lord he believes her to be dead” Alfred replied

“Good” Aldred said

“What happened?” I asked

“I saw you leave the note and read what you had written, I rode to lord Aldred and told him” Alfred replied

“What made Lafrim ride to the lake?” I asked

“When I got back to house he began to read the note that you had left and started to get angry” Alfred said

“And” I said

“He asked for me to go and fetch you believing that it was not real, when I told him that you were not here and that all of your stuff and that a horse was gone but his ring had been left hanging on the barn door, he asked me what you had been doing when he was not there”” Alfred said

“I left that on the table, what did he say then?” I asked

“I told him the truth my lady, that from the day he found out who you were, you had spent anytime that you were not doing your chores you were in the barn with your heartbreaking, anytime that he was not around you would cry, I told him that I knew that you loved him and that you only wanted happiness for him, I told him that you had tried to take your life a few times when he was not there, especially after Ragna had stripped you naked for the world to see and stabbed you over and over again I told him that I had stopped you” Alfred said

“But I did not try” I said

“I know my lady but Lord Aldred had told me that I needed to make him see what he had done you. I also told him that you had left the holdfast for a week trying to find someone to kill you so that his suffering could end, I said that you could not bare to see him as the monster that he had become, I told him that he need not worry to much about you as I believed that he had done the right thing to you, because no one you love should betray you as you did him” Alfred said

“And What did he do?” I asked

“Not much” Alfred replied

“Then what made him ride out to the lake?” I asked

“ I am sorry my lady but I told him that you were right to kill yourself for what you had done to him and that you would never have made a good wife or a mother and that all you were was a traitorous whore and that he should go and find someone that makes him whole like his father had found” Alfred said

“Why did you say about being a good mother?” I asked

“My lady I know that Ragna killed your unborn my lord Aldred told me” Alfred saud

“Aldred you should have not told him that and as I told you that was not Ragna’s doing” I said

“I am sorry my lady but he needed to see the truth” Aldred said

“It does not matter he would not have known that is what you meant” I said “what did he do?” I asked looking at Alfred

“He sat at the table and re read the note and then he looked at the ring that I had given back to him , he became very angry and sad at once, he dropped to his knees and began to pray to Odin for forgiveness because he was a pig headed fool and that he should have listened to his father, He said that I had brought back his mind because every time I said something bad about you it hurt him and cut his heart like a knife and he realised that he never hated you, he was just hurt that you had lied to him, he ran from the holdfast and to the stable, praying that he could make it to the lake before you took your life” Alfred said

“And now?” Aldred asked

“He believes her to be dead, I have never seen him this broken my lord” Alfred said

“Good and so he should, let us go and see him” Aldred said “remember stay here” he added and him and Alfred walked from the room leaving the door slightly ajar so that I could watch what was happening

“I cannot wait to meet the lady your father has told me all about” Astra said as Aldred walked back into the room

“She is not here” Lafrim replied

“Why?” Astra asked

“She ran away” Lafrim replied

“You mean you pushed her away” Aldred shouted

“Aldred I am trying to talk to my son” Astra said

“Sorry my love” Aldred said

“What does your father mean, he told me that he thought that she was the one that made your heart whole” Astra said

“She was” Lafrim replied

“Then what did you do?” Astra asked

“I acted like a damn fool when i found out who she was” he replied

“You mean that you acted like an arsehole” Aldred said

“Maybe” Lafrim replied

“There is no maybe about boy, you let Ragna beat her and stab her” Aldred said “it may as well of been you that killed your child” He shouted at him

“My child” Lafrim asked looking confused “I don’t have a child, was Freyja carrying my child?” he added

“Yes you little arsehole Freyja was carrying your child, when you let Ragna attack her, why do you think that I stayed so long?” Aldred said

“But she did not tell me, why did she not tell me?” he asked

“What was there to tell you, you wouldn’t listen to a damn word she said, after you found out who she was you sent her to sleep with the bloody animals and said that you would take her life if she spoke, you treated her like trash and she still bloody stayed, even after what you did to the woman you brought back from the raid” Aldred said and Lafrim looked at him strangely “yes that’s right boy I know damn well what you did she told me that you made her watch you take the woman, she told me not to be too hard on you that everything that was happening to her was her own fault and that you were not to blame for any of it” Aldred shouted

“But” Lafrim went to say

“There are no but’s here boy you are an arsehole who deserves a life of misery for what the hell you put her through but Freyja did not want that for you all she ever wanted was for you to be happy, well I hope that you are bloody happy that you acted like an arsehole and pushed her away” Aldred shouted

“I did act like an arsehole I could not see past my own anger” Lafrim said

“You are as hot headed as your father was before he met me” Astra said

“I am” Lafrim said

“Why have you not gone looking for her?” Asked Astra

“There is no point” Lafrim said

“Why?” Astra asked

“Because she is gone” Lafrim said

“What does that mean?” Astra asked

“Show me” Aldred said

“Show you what?” asked Lafrim

“I can see the piece of paper sticking out of your pocket” Aldred said

“It is nothing important” Lafrim said

“Then show me that it is nothing” Aldred said

“It is nothing” Lafrim replied

“Show me now boy” Aldred shouted

“Aldred calm down” Astra said

“Calm down how can I calm down after everything that he has done, she was carrying a child Astra, she was carrying our grandchild and that little arsehole did this to her” Aldred said

“Lafrim show him” Astra said

“But” Lafrim said

“No Lafrim give him the damn note” Astra said and I could see Lafrim hand the note over to his father, it was the note that I had written him, I watched as Aldred opened up the piece of paper and began to read after a moment or two he screwed the piece of paper up and threw it on the floor, walked over to Lafrim grabbed him around the throat and pushed him up against the wall

“Aldred let him go” Astra said

“Tell you mother why you would not be able to find her”he shouted

“What does he mean?” Astra said

“No” Lafrim said

“Tell her now or so help me boy” he shouted

“What you will kill me?” Lafrim shouted breaking his father’s grip

“Something like that I do not care if you are my son, it is because of your damn pride that she did this, I told her once that you would never hurt her and that you would never let another living person hurt her, I thought I knew my own son but it would seem that I do not” Aldred said

“Do you not think that I am not already dying inside” Lafrim said “I know what I bloody did” he shouted at Aldred

“What is wrong, my son?” Astra asked

“She is dead” Lafrim said dropping to the table and pouring himself a drink

“What do you mean that she is dead?” Astra asked

“The note that father just read said that she could no longer live with the unhappiness that she had caused me and could not stand to see me the way that I was, the note said that she knew she was the reason for the way I was and she went to the lake where we first got together and she killed herself” Lafrim said drinking what he had in the glass and pouring another one

“How do you know?” Astra asked

“Because I do” Lafrim said and drank another glass

“Did you go and find her body?” Astra asked

“Enough already” he shouted “I went to the damn lake to stop her, I went to the lake to beg her for forgiveness but I was too late all I found was bloody clothes, there was too much blood for her to have survived, she slit her wrists and walked into the lake, she is gone and it is my fault” Lafrim said taken the dagger out of his waistband

“Lafrim put the dagger down” Aldred said

“Why what is the point?” Lafrim said and turned to face the window “I should have listened to you, I knew that you were right I just could not see past my own pride past the fact the she had lied to me, I have never been more of a damn fool than I am now and I should go” Lafrim said

“Lafrim don’t do this” Astra said

“I forced her to take her own life, I killed our unborn child because I am damn fool, I made her go and greet the gods because I could not see, it is time that I went and met Hel for what I have done, there is no forgiveness for me” Lafrim said, I could tell by the sound of his voice that he meant what he was saying, I did not care what they had told me I was not about to let him Kill himself


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