Life is not an easy ride, sometimes people think you're fighting them when you're just trying to explain yourself ..they never realize it actually hurts when u tell someone he’s strange or occult , it really does! a lot! I didn’t negotiate because I know how some mindsets are just infertile! but I was too hurt that moment that my mouth couldn’t come up with a word to say.. so I just dropped a tear instead.
I often keep having that regret feeling of giving something for the wrong person.. being with the wrong person.. and sometimes even talking to! when did sharing words become such a big deal?
am I giving valuable pieces of myself to the wrong people, that I won’t get back? or perhaps I’m seeking for someone ?
I also have flashbacks and deja vu’s of things that didn’t happen! and keeps shuffling inside my head.. I wonder if it actually happened when I'm some sort of unconscious or.. dreaming.. or maybe happened in another paradox and I'm meant to see it somehow. what if I saved it as an experience? an exp. that I didn’t technically live!! wouldn’t that be considered *hypothetically* as a time‐loop jump to another timeline where things might have been this way? or did I just break the matrix!
I always overthink and keep asking why? why me? n y n y n y..
we question too much, but enjoy too little.
so I decided that today I'm not gonna overthink..
.. well, it didn’t work out,
cuz I kept thinking that I shouldn’t overthink, so I started overthinking whether I'm overthinking or not.
then I got depressed and I thought that, being depressed is generally being less happy than your normal disposition or mood.. then perhaps I’m never depressed! cuz I’m always the same.. so depression doesn’t fit it’s own definition anymore!Chapter 2 >>