"The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming"
But Paddy wasn’t worried. No sir, not one little bit. Every army has an Achilles heel and Paddy knew just what that weakness was and how to execute a plan that would stop the British in their tracks. Yes indeed, Paddy had a plan.
The year was 1922. The British armada had landed on the northern shores of Ireland. They needed the potatoes and they needed the potatoes bad. They themselves were about to be invaded by the McDonald clan and there was going to be a potato famine.
But the British had never encountered the wily Paddy. Paddy was known throughout the land for his drinkin’ and his thinkin’ They may have had razor-sharp swords and lances but Paddy had a razor-sharp mind and a keen insight into the way of things. Yes, Paddy could tell you the way things. For hours Paddy could tell you the way of things. Anyhow on to the battle plan:
This was the strategy that halted the British advance, possibly forever!
First, he had his men pull back from the front. He let the British land their men and equipment. After a long stint at sea and all the effort of disembarking and setting up onshore their men were pretty tired and hungry.
Just on sunset on the first day just as the British were about to dig into their hardtack and bilge water he launched his first raid. But did he attack the British head-on and lose all his men? No. Paddy was too smart for that.
The target of this small raid was to damage the hardtack and then get the army to chase them back to the Irish front line where the trap was set.
Now, this Irish front line was not the Irish army. No sirree Paddy was way too smart for that. There were too many British soldiers for a hand to hand battle. Maybe 20 to 1 if not more. Paddy had a plan!
Paddy and his men lit huge bonfires all along the front and brewed up thousands of pots of tea and tens of thousands of scones and biscuits.
The steaming tea was sitting on the trays, the plate of biscuits placed neatly beside it. All there was left to do now was wait.
“The British Are Coming!“Yes tired and hungry the British Are Coming”
And that dear reader is the Irish front line where they all stopped for a cup of tea and a bickie.
Who won? Why nobody and everybody at the same time. That is how clever old Paddy really was.