My name is Parker Beetle
It a was dark night on Tuesday, see, I work the night shift... I am a bug detective. My partner’s name is Lucy June Lovebug. We had somehow buzzed onto this case. We were burning the midnight dew and hadn’t bent a twig on this one. My names Parker Beetle, I was born on a Thursday two winters past... We’d started working on this together on a Friday. We got the call on this case just this past Sunday.. I had started out drinking my normal dark sap that night, when a friend turned me on to this baby juice... I knew I shouldn’t... but started sucking it in, and now, I still can’t remember what happen last Monday.. still too fuzzy. Too much of that larvae juice. I vaguely recall Lucy June Lovebug dragging me back to my hole in the ground and fluffing the dirt over me. She’s really a great detective too, we were partners, and like I said, only not in crime... She always had my back.
Yeah, there were many detectives working the thousands of cases that happened on the night shift out here at the Maplewood Tree. It’s between Oak tree and Birchwood tree. And trust me, this is the worst place to be between all of them. Every insect that crawled, climbed, hopped, limped, slid, spun or flew.. they all were here. It was the underbelly of the skies. But the nights they were the worst, and no time to rest on your haunches, daylight always came too fast.
There was always something tough to crack... Hard cases that had soft larvae inside, you see’ em all the time. All the branches were bad, they had ladybugs that wanted to do nothing but rub their wings on you, and if you were mated... their scent... well, consider yourself bird chow. Oh and then there’s the ‘wild ones’ that come from the firefly district. You can’t tell what they are anymore, could be guys, girls, or just flamers! There the ones that talk soft but have big horns. Less then a limb over there are the horny ones who look at you with there 5 eyes and wanting to size you up and dine on your heart before you know what bent your antenna...
Yeah it’s bad here. But me, Parker Beetle... yeah, I’d seen it all..!