Twisted Sisters

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Scene 2:

Rooftops in the night

Narrator: But even fun lovers need some rest. And even the most restless need to sleep.

Titli Father: What time did she come over yesterday?

Titli Mother: She came in early and slept.

Titli Father: Then wake her up. Its 7 am already. How much longer does she want to sleep?

Titli Mother: Nothing to do as well. Let her sleep for a while and then will wake her up.

Titli Father: This is the reason she is getting out of hand. I am telling you, now one will want to marry a girl like her. Maybe she has forgotten how my chappal sounds. Lazy girl.

Titli Mother: hmm... I will wake her up in half an hour more.

Titli (Thinking): And there we go again. Does he not understand that someone is sleeping.

Titli: Happy. I have woken up. Now what special work needs done?

Titli Mother: I know you are awake. At least have the decency to get up instead of hiding behind me all the time.

Titli: Do you want the clothes to be washed? Or should I clean up the plates? Maybe clean up the room... Right? Oh! I have to do that all. Great. Lovely morning.

Titli Father: You better behave and listen to your mother. I will not have a stupid girl in my house.

Titli: I do not even want to be in your house. Once this lock down is over, I will leave.

Titli Mother: Have you lost all respect for your parents? This is not what I had raised.

Titli Father: This is all your fault. This girl is roaming around with the Punjabi boy all night. Do you think that is proper for her?

Titli: I have told you a million times that he is my best friend. There is no love connection and who talks like that about his own daughter? Is that proper?

Titli Mother: Please... please... both of you. Do not talk like that about my girl.

Titli Mother: She will stop seeing that boy from today.

Titli Father: And what about that ugly Tamil girl. She looks like she has not even taken a bath ever.

Titli: You will not talk about my friends like that. She is not ugly... You are crazy.

Titli Father: Now I am crazy. Next your mother will be crazy. Only you know everything. The rest of us should just die and allow you to have your fun all night long.

Titli: Go to hell. I am better off with them than with you.

Titli: You are a very sick person and I hate you.

Titli Father: Do not jump on the roof. It has started leaking and will cave in soon. No need to prepone my death.

Titli: Let me see if Tammy or Upla are up yet. Maybe they’ve had better luck.

Tammy Father: Come on, get up little one. It is already 5:30. Time to study.

Tammy: Ohh! Come on. I just went to sleep.

Tammy Father: So I was right. You were roaming around with that no good Titli all night again.

Tammy Father: How many times do I say the same thing... The percentage of time you have wasted in your life is incremental to your life graph going down. In Arithmetic terms.

Tammy: How many times do I say that I want to sleep? And Titli was not there only Upla.

Tammy Father: Statistically speaking, morning time is the best time for study? Now get up and start studying.

Tammy: grumble... grumble... grumble... statistics... arithmetic...

Tammy: This house is worse than a Nazi regime. Study all the time.

Tammy Father: If you study, you will ...

Tammy: I know... I know... get a job and make a life and be a good citizen. As if studying helped you a bit.

Tammy Father: You better behave and learn how to speak. I am a teacher because I studied unlike you who will sit on the roadside asking for alms at this rate.

Tammy: Oh! Dear Guruji... please teach me arithmetic as that is the only thing you know.

Tammy Father: At least clean up before you touch the books. Have you forgotten everything I have taught you?

Tammy Father (Thinking): Let me allow her today a choice of subjects. That should make her happy and ready to learn Arithmetic.

Tammy Father: We shall start with Arithmetic. Arithmetic is the branch of mathematics that deals usually with the nonnegative real numbers including sometimes the transfinite cardinals and their operations of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.

Tammy: Oh wow! Daily torture. Go ahead kill me now.

Tammy Father: You will at least learn the BODMAS today which even a sixth class student in my school knows well.

Tammy: How many questions to solve before I can go to sleep again?

Tammy Father: With that attitude... you are never sleeping again.

Tammy: You know that I can simply walk away and never come back to you or to this Arithmetic?

Tammy: If I keep attacking his lovely Arithmetic maybe he will throw me out.

Tammy Father: I know your tricks. 10 questions from this book and then you leave. And all of them have to be correct.

Tammy: Groan... Now I am never leaving.

Tammy: I am hungry. At least let me eat something first.

Tammy Father: No food till you solve the equations.

Tammy Father: The sky will not provide the answers. Look at the equations.

Tammy: Maybe God will provide the answers as he provides me with food. God, please make me disappear.

Titli: No use here. She will be stuck for a while trying to figure out what comes first - Bracket or Addition. Let me see if Upla is up and ready.

Narrator: Upla’s mother is cleaning utensils and speaking to someone on her mobile and his father is listening to the Gurbani on the television in their one-bedroom house.

Upla Mother: I told you that Kamli was a chudail. See what she did to her in-laws. Poor people.

Upla Mother: Oh ho... turn that volume down papa ji. You will go deaf.

Upla Mother: Maharaj ji... get up please before your father turns into the devil.

Upla: Ma... ten minutes more.

Upla Mother: You have been telling me ten minutes for the last one hour now. Get up.

Upla Mother: So how was your party yesterday night? Did you meet any good girls?

Upla: Ma... I do not want any girls. Just let me sleep yaar.

Upla Mother: Yes... you sleep and your father has his God. Only I am the one in this house who has no work. I keep asking this for your own good.

Upla Mother: Get up now. The sun is up and so should you. I have made your favourite sabzi today. Get up fast.

Upla: Ma... ten minutes more.

Upla Mother: Did you say there were no girls at the party yesterday? You were partying with boys. What is going on?

Upla: No... I was with Tammy and Titli.

Upla Mother: That Tammy is a bad influence but Titli is nice. She might make a good wife for my Upla. A bit crazy but still...

Upla Mother: I don’t like Tammy. She looks like she has not eaten for days on end. But Titli is fine. A bit crazy but what’s the use if a wife is not a little crazy.

Upla Mother: At least she is a girl.

Upla: Ma how many times do I tell you that they both are only my friends.

Upla Father: Oye, get up. You will turn into stone if you keep sleeping more.

Upla Mother: Yes get up and brush. I will give you breakfast.

Upla Mother: Do you know that Upla now has a girlfriend?

Upla Father: Did you not hear what he said that Titli is only a friend. Stop doing this to yourself. It is god’s will to punish us with a boy who loves boys. What to do?

Upla: You know it is not a disease. But you guys make it sound like it is all the time.

Narrator: Titli reaches Upla’s roof and raps on the tin shed which is their group’s call.

Upla: I will take my breakfast to the roof Ma. Put one roti extra and a little bit more of subzi please.

Upla Mother: You see that girl has come to meet him on the roof. So romantic na? I am packing up your breakfast. Come back for lunch. Okay?

Upla Father: Must be another birthday party to attend in the day? When will your boy start working.

Upla Mother: Don’t twist your eyes like a girl. Because of your faulty genes we are in this trouble.

Upla Father: Keep your voice down. Do you want the world to know about this?

Titli: The same thing again? Huh!

Upla: There was one new thing today. Did you miss the part about you as my love life?

Titli: Thank god I missed that part. I would have dropped in and told them I do not want to waste my life with you.

Upla (smiling): Yeah... yeah... I love you too.

Titli: Lovely... You brought food. You knew I have not eaten or just like that?

Upla: Where is Tammy?

Titli (smiling): And there goes my lover. Lost in the love of another woman.

Upla: Tammy will kill you if she hears you called her a woman.

Titli: Let’s rescue her. Knights in shining armor and all.

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