Twisted Sisters

Scene 4:

Rooftops in the evening

Titli: I found something wonderful. A magical golden page that can teach us anything.

Tammy: Magic would be to get through Arithmetic yaar. Who invented it? I want to kill that bastard.

Upla: That would be ancient Indians and Greeks. Do you have a time machine to go back and kill them all?

Upla: Babes, it’s called a tablet and who did you rob along the drain?

Tammy: I will try anything that teaches me Arithmetic.

Titli (thinking): Upla does not believe me. Maybe he should try it first. Or not. He only should see its power and Tammy will get the skill first.

Titli: Tammy, you try it first. Close your eyes and concentrate on the Arithmetic book at home and say “Teach me Arithmetic.”

Tammy: Wow... I can see lines, angles, and numbers everywhere. The world is made up of it. This roof should have been titled by 1.765 degrees to the North by adding a 1/4th brick on the side to make it level.

Tammy: Did I just say that? AAAHHHH... get out of my head. I know Arithmetic.

Upla: What game are you both playing? I am in no mood for a joke. Okay... Good set up but no thank you.

Upla: Oh yeah... I would love to see you get beaten up with a stick Tammy for making fun of Arithmetic. My dear poor uncle, stuck with a stupid bitch.

Tammy: Shut the fuck up or I break every bone in your body.

Upla: At least knowledge has not changed your style.

Tammy: Hello dear Appa. Do you want to play Arithmetic today?

Tammy Father: What are you kids up to? And why cannot you people ever use the front door?

Tammy: I will give you an Arithmetic question and if you solve it then I shall give you the procedure to solve the Collatz Conjecture.

Tammy Father: Have you started doing drugs? Are you drunk? Where did you even get alcohol in the lockdown?

Tammy Father: But I sure am impressed that you even know about the Collatz Conjecture which hasn’t been solved in the last 100 years or so.

Upla: Uncle what’s the harm na? Try out her question. I am with you. This woman is only faking. I shall get your stick ready in the meantime.

Tammy: I am telling you, if you call me a woman again, I will break every bone in your body and feed it to the dogs. No to the maggots. Upla you are shit.

Tammy: What is 2 + 2?

Upla: Any kid can tell that. Why do you need a teacher of Arithmetic to give you the answer to it?

Upla: Uncle, she has gone crazy. We will take her out and get her some fresh air. Come on Titli.

Tammy Father: If you say later that it is 5 then I will give you a tight slap. Ok, I will play along. The answer is 4.

Tammy: Lovely Professor... sorry Teaching Assistant sir.

Tammy Father: Did you eat some poisonous plant? Are you sure that you are not sick?

Narrator: In the next ten minutes Tammy scribbles down the solution for the unsolvable mystery of the Collatz Conjecture and her father is still pouring over his books and whatnots trying to figure out if it has been done properly.

Tammy: Daddy dear... send it to the Ministry of Science and Mathematics. It’s beyond your limited skills.

Tammy: I am going. Don’t wait up. Let’s go guys.

Upla: Oye... do you really know Arithmetic now? Or was that just a drama?

Upla: Uncle would kill me for sure if your solution for whatever that you solved was wrong.

Tammy: My darling Poop, sorry Upla. Never underestimate a small girl.

Tammy: And if you ever call me a woman again, I will definitely throw you off this roof.

Upla: Sorry, I thought you two were pulling my leg. The amount of Maths you wrote in ten minutes was more than you have ever written in your entire lifetime.

Upla: Even if the answer is wrong, I am sure that page is magic. No one knows even half of the symbols you wrote to solve that equation or problem or whatever. Impressed sister.

Tammy: If your mom catches you calling a girl your sister then you will be in trouble.

Titli (smiling): You don’t want to know how happy his mother would be if you are only his sister.

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