Twisted Sisters

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Scene 5:

Background: Rooftops in the night

Upla: Hey I want to learn something too, please.

Tammy: You have everything alright in your life. What do you want yaar? Your parents do not beat you up... usually and your parents are as ignorant of the books as you, so no studies either. What’s up your arse?

Titli: Maybe I shall learn something to beat up my father when he comes to hit me.

Tammy: Learn the entire Kung fu. Become Bruce Lee. Then you will be invincible.

Titli: Maybe I should.

Narrator: Titli closes her eyes and concentrates on Kung Fu while touching the golden page and says “Teach me Kung Fu.”

Titli: I know Kung Fu bro.

Tammy: Show us... show us... break that brick.

Upla: You girls are not pulling my leg na? This is not some elaborate prank, right? That brick will hurt.

Titli (thinking): Kung fu is not just about hitting and breaking. The knowledge also requires years of training and a fit body. That brick at present will only fracture my hand.

Titli: Kung fu is not just about hitting and breaking. The knowledge also requires years of training and a fit body. This skill is only half the thing. I cannot use it yet.

Tammy: What yaar! Then pick up something else. Learn something like acupressure and you will be able to kill and maim him tonight.

Titli: I do not like him hitting me but this knowledge of Kung Fu is also making me realize that he is worried for me. It is showing me the good within the bad as well. Ying and Yang go together.

Tammy: What crap man! Upla will you say something or should I just kick that jaw of yours away from the floor?

Upla: I was certain this is a trick but... I saw that page glow in the night clearly.

Upla: You guys have not given me something na? I ain’t crazy or dreaming? Bro tell me na yaar.

Titli: Ok just to prove to you... give me your hand.

Upla: Don’t kill me. I am your Upla. I love you and I am your little sister.

Tammy (smiling): Little giant sister is more like it.

Titli: I will only press a pressure point a little bit. You know I used to have no knowledge of such things. Right?

Upla: I don’t even like the sound of that... pressure point... Mummy help.

Tammy: Oye, be a man. She is not asking for your hand in marriage. She will only break it at a few places and return it.

Titli: Not break it. Heal it. At least to an extent.

Upla: If you do something bad I will tell my Mommy.

Tammy: Let me take a picture of you while you are crying.

Titli: Stop scaring him. I will not harm you Upla. You trust me na?

Upla: I am not sure what to trust now. But still okay. Here you go.

Narrator: Titli presses upon some points and Upla does feel relaxed. Then she presses points around his neck and he agrees that such knowledge couldn’t have been learned without the help of the magic page.

Upla: Does it have a cure for my disease as well?

Tammy: You are gay. That is not a disease. How many times do I need to tell you not to listen to your parents?

Titli: Come on babes. You know you are fine. We love you for what you are and not for your sexuality.

Upla: But still ask it na... maybe it can help me.

Tammy: Even I know what this page will say... let him ask it. Let him be content.

Titli: Darling you are not a disease. But just to humor you... here you go. Ask it.

Upla: Is there any cure for my being gay?

Golden Page: Being gay is not a disease. If you want I can teach you the Kamasutra.

Tammy: No thanks. Upla already falls in love every second day with a new person. No more crazy needed.

Upla: That’s not true. You were the one who is a voyeur and were looking at that newly married couple in Gali 22.

Tammy: At least not falling in love na. Yuck... why do people fall in love? Let’s ask the page that question.

Titli: No. I don’t want the page to slap you for asking an out of syllabus question.

Upla: How does it run? Does it have a battery? Is this real gold?

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