Twisted Sisters

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Scene 7:

Background: Rooftop at night

Narrator: The Assistant sits in a corner enjoying his choley bhature while these three rack out their brains.

Titli: This is huge. We have to be perfect in our choice.

Upla: This can be our way out of this place. We have to find a subject that can help us earn money easily.

Tammy: And a lot of it too. I will buy a huge bungalow on a hill.

Upla: I will go and live in a country where gays are not looked down upon.

Titli: What should be learnt? What are the most popular subjects?

Tammy: We will stay together always. Promise everyone please. I do not want any money to come between us.

Upla: I was just thinking that... wow... I do not want to live anywhere even if it accepts gay people if you guys are not with me.

Tammy: So that guy who comes to buy kachoris in a BMW is mine na?

Upla: Oye... cheating... that lovely thing is only mine. I wonder if he will love me?

Titli: Focus guys. Let us first think of what will help. Let’s make up a list of the subjects we think can help us.

Tammy: I know. We should learn law. Lawyers earn a lot of money and it is respectable.

Upla: Its a five year course... I cannot study that long.

Titli: Oye... we can learn anything in a second. But lawyers are liars. We should learn something that is honest.

Tammy (smiling): Do you want to be a politician then? The most honest job in the world.

Upla: I think one can do that by learning political science.

Upla: Oh... Oh... I want to be a policeman. Everyone pays the police in our area for everything. Money, respect and a uniform. All in one job boss.

Titli: How about we learn environmental sciences? It can earn us a lot. That is one good field na?

Upla: You once told me that all environmental scientists do is pick up shit. That cannot pay well.

Tammy: Something else... I don’t even know or care for the environment. Have you seen our surroundings? I will die if I have to live in a clean area.

God’s Assistant: May I help you guys? See all of these are good choices but they are subjects while our deal is for learning skills.

Tammy: Are you trying to con us? We know everything. Just eat your food.

Titli: Tammy... that is no way to talk to a god yaar. Please tell us more.

God’s Assistant: You should pick a skill that helps you earn some money.

Tammy: Upla you better take that Kamasutra skill man.

Upla: Yeah lots of ugly women need to be satiated. Right?

Tammy: How dare you call me a woman again? Titli please hold my hand or I will punch him to death.

God’s Assistant: You guys fight too much. Please make a choice soon as I also need to get back. My work is piling up guys.

Titli (thinking): What he says makes sense, but what do I pick up? What if I first pick up a skill that I use and then help these two pick up a suitable one?

Titli: I can learn the Strategic Thinking Skill and then decide for the two of you as the interpersonal skill will not help you guys. Interpersonal skills might not help us in the long run but at least twice in my life I shall have peace with the two of you not fighting. I sound like your mother kids. This choice is wrong in so many ways.

God’s Assistant: Sure! Touch the page and concentrate on the skill you want to learn and voila.

Titli: I choose to learn the Strategic Thinking Skills please.

Narrator: The golden page does its glowing up and everything... you know how it works. Why do you want me to keep describing how it works all the time? I think you want to learn some skills too with it. You lazy one! Read the next scene please.


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