Panic
I pressed the button and the lift door opened. “Number eight here we come!” I said with a grin. The doors closed and the elevator didn’t move.
“What’s going on?” I panicked. “Why is the elevator not moving?”
“Press the emergency button.” Mason said.
I kept pressing over and over again but it refused to move. Now Mason was starting to panic. "What the fuck is going--"
"Due to the extreme poor weather, no one is here to answer your request. Please wait until Monday." The operator said.
My legs sank to the floor. Mason immediately started to press the button harder and harder until we both realised that there was no hope. I quickly reached for my phone. I’m so stupid. “I’m calling the emergency services.” I said dialing 999.
Mason exhaled and smiled. “I will call Lucas.”
“Oh no….” My heart stopped as I saw no bars. “There’s no signal!”
“Nononono…” He shook his head. “This is not happening. Not today...nononono.” Mason screamed starting to panic. He started to bang on the walls shouting for help and I joined him. After a while, we gave up...we lost all hope.
“This is your fault.” He accused me.
“How can you say something like that?!"
“If it wasn’t for your problems none of this would’ve happened. Now we are stuck here for two days! Two!!” He said, infuriated. I looked at him not believing my eyes. He’s changed. His stupid attitude has!! And I think he somehow knew what I was thinking because he started to speak.
“Listen--”
“Don’t.” I said with a sharp tone. He buried his hands on his head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you--"
I turned away from him and sat down staring at the buttons. G, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Wait..8!! “My medication!” I said alarmed, beginning to hyperventilate. I felt dizzy and nauseous--
“Stop. You’re gonna cause a seizure if you keep panicking.” Mason said as he sat me down. I kept on worrying and soon enough he was right. I fell on the floor hitting my head pretty badly and started shaking uncontrollably.
I could see Mason holding my Buccal Midazolam in his right hand injecting it into the left side of my mouth. Within seconds I had calmed down and was trying to stand up, but my legs were too weak. Having a seizure is exhausting, it feels like running around my school field 10 times, which by the way, is deathly.
Mason sat waiting for me to speak but I couldn’t say anything. I was too tired to do anything. Talk about speak. When I have a seizure, I have no control over my body. It's like..I need permission--
“I always bring it with me.” He smiled showing me the emergency medication bottle, Buccal Midazolam. I gave him a weak smile.
“You okay?” He asked. I couldn’t speak properly but I did manage to say something close to a yes.
“I haven’t used this in a while.” He frowned. "I really hoped we'd never need it..but hey, one day, you'll get better." Then he looked at me clearly. “On the positive side, guess we are both wearing our pyjamas, huh?”
This time I managed to give him a smile.
"Well, that's improvement." He said cheerfully. I tried to get up but I couldn’t. “H...h…”
He paused, but then realised what I was trying to say. “You should lie down. But if you want to sit then okay.” He said lifting me up and sitting me down on the corner of the lift. He took his hoodie off and placed it at the back of my head like a head rest.
“You banged your head pretty bad.” He sighed. “Want some water?” No! I can’t drink anything yet. I'll drown!!
“N..no…” I stuttered. He put the water back and started to move around the lift, trying to look for a signal. “No luck.” He said after a while.
I tried to speak but still no luck. All I could do is just look at him bored as fuck.
“Listen, I’m sorry about earlier.” He went on. “Lately everything has been...complicated and I...I’m confused as fuck. I just feel like no one will understand me.” I looked at him waiting for something else. Why isn’t he saying anything? Why is he silent? Isn’t he going to elaborate? I need to know what he is hiding.
“I’ve been putting my anger on you and that’s not fair. I am sorry..really sorry.” He said and sat beside me. “Do you think anyone might come?”
I gave a sigh. A sigh which means I don’t know. Then he sighed and looked at his phone. “Great 50% left.” We sat in silence for a few more minutes when he finally broke the silence. “You okay?”
I nodded. I couldn’t speak but he understood.
“Are you still tired?” He asked.
“A..b...it…” I said heavily.
“Sorry.”
“W...why?”
“Because I haven’t been truthful to you…” He sighed. “I don’t know what is going on with me. I just can’t sleep. I haven’t slept properly for a while because I keep thinking about the gun and the stabbing and the drowning and---”
My heart suddenly dropped. Tears were now rolling down his cheeks. I’ve not seen him cry for a while now, I mean, apart from the time where he was locked in with a spider. Yeah, that time was, yeah, was something.
He got up embarrassed and turned away from me wiping his tears. "Don't look at me!"
I tried to get up but couldn’t. Then I tried again and this time I managed to stand up but fell back on the floor hitting my arm. Ouch.
“You need help?” He asked. "Did you hurt your arm?"
"Ye..yes."
"Damn." He shook his head and sat next to me. I could see the hurt in his eyes. What happened? Why's he upset?? I turned around ignoring the fact that I couldn’t even use my arms that well, I put in all my strength and gave him the biggest hug I’d given him since god knows when. Maybe this morning, moving on.
He was shocked for a second and then he hugged me back. Of course I was tired after a five minute convulsion due to a panic attack. Even though my arms slipped because I got too tired, he still hugged me and even though I was wearing my hoodie, I could feel his tears rolling down my back which just made me emotional. Damn it, what is going on with me? I’m such an emotional wreck, but if you have a best friend….you’d understand where I’m coming from.
I waited for him to stop crying and I tried to stop crying myself but it takes me years to, I mean, I cry over the slightest things, like when someone shouts at me..or when I see someone crying on TV, especially Hollyoaks, or when I see--
“I’m sorry.” Mason apologised out of nowhere.
“W...w..hat?” I asked confused and struggling to speak.
He then let go and sat back up. “You were day dreaming weren't you?"
I shook my head. "N..no."
"Yes. I knew it. But now you need to take your medication." He said taking a bottle of water out. Ew. Nonono. N O, spells NO. I hate taking my medication with water on an empty stomach. Just gross.
"No."
“You are so stubborn.” He huffed. “Your mum is going to kill me for not giving you your medication.”
I haven’t eaten anything and I know I’m going to throw up and I don’t want to in this lift which I’m going to be stuck on for the next two days! I will take my medication at night.
“Open your mouth.” He said. I kept my mouth shut. I am not going to. Never ever ever.
He got the water bottle and took the lid off. He then put the two pills, Oxcarbazepine and Lamotrigine, on the lid and and put a few drops of water. He waited a few seconds until it dissolved. Oh no….I know exactly what he’s going to do.
I shook my head. “No.” It sounded like a whisper but he clearly heard me.
“I’m your best friend and as your best friend, I need to be responsible for you so, you’re going to drink this now.” He said as he opened my mouth. I closed it back. He sighed. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself. You’ve already banged your head and arm.”
He sighed and tried to open my mouth. I gritted my teeth. He gave up after a few tries. “Why do you hate drinking this medication?”
“It makes me..sick!” I said out of breath.
“I know it does but I’m looking out for you.”
“I need to eat.” I whispered.
“Didn’t you eat a doughnut before?” He asked looking at my mouth. I shook my head. Know exactly what he’s trying to do. I’m not going to open my mouth. Then he looked at me pissed. “Open your mouth, you’re being ridiculous.”
I looked at him, still not opening my mouth. He tried to open my mouth and this time he succeeded. I bit his finger but he still poured the poisonous liquid into my mouth. I coughed and almost choked. Yes I choked. I swear he needs to get locked up. That is abuse! Complete abuse!! There was no way I could spit it back out. This is pure murder. Not abuse, murder.
“How hard was that?” He reached into his pockets and pulled out a mars bar. He broke it down into small tiny pieces and put them in my mouth as I couldn’t use my arms. Sucks doesn't it. Seizures are bitches and bitches are hated. I hate Epilepsy. People say they learn to embrace it and don't let their condition define them, bitch just shut up! We all know the fucking truth! Epilepsy is a fucking--
"What's wrong?" Mason asked.
"Nothing.." I muttered. It took a while to chew it all down, but after I did, I tried getting up again. Why the fuck did I bring my medication? Huh?! I'd rather die than have water and my meds. It's just..no, like no.
“You should rest.” Mason advised as he laid me back down. “I’m going to try open the lift.” He said placing his hoodie under my head.
He got up and walked over to the buttons. He pressed the help button. It didn’t work. Then he pressed the seventh floor button. Nothing happened. Then he did it again and this time, the doors did open. I stared at the doors and back at Mason in shock. Mason gave the same shocked impression back.
“Finally! Let’s go!!” He said as he walked out the lift. Then he turned around remembering I couldn’t walk.
“Sorry.” He apologised as he carried me all the way to a spinny chair. I remember back in secondary school, that was two months ago. When the whole class would fight to get the spinny chairs. Some good memories. Now I'm in college, happy as ever, oh dammit, I feel so sarcastic, was that sarcastic? No maybe--
“Thanks.” I said as I saw him waiting for me to say so.
“No problem.” He said pulling the other spinny chair behind me and moving it next to me. “Why is no one working on the weekends?”
I shrugged my shoulders. Why does no one work on weekends? Hm? Damn I'm tired..for real..like--"I'm sleepy." I mumbled.
"Oh, right. Go ahead, I'll keep an eye on everything."
I closed my eyes and--
"Sky?" Mason asked tapping me on the head.
"Do you mind?!" I snapped.
"What?"
"Urgh, you're so annoying!!"
"No I'm not."
I shook my head and sighed. “..Let’s not lose hope.”
"What hope?"
"Mason!"
"Okay! Okay! You’re right--"
"I know."
"Know what?"
"You agree that you're an ass."
"No! Sky! I said I agree that we shouldn't loose hope."
"You agreed with both."
"I didn't--"
"Yes you did--"
"No--"
"You did--"
"I give up---"
"That's not the spirit!"
"No I give up on being annoying--"
"Fresh start?"
"What?! No! Sky, look. I am not annoying. You are. You talk BTS 24/7. And you dream BTS, you eat BTS--"
"Hey!"
"You are BTS--"
"Okay that's it--"
"Oh no, I am gonna erm.." Mason took a few steps back. "Don't bite, you're not a dog. Dogs don't bite. Good dogs don't.."
"Did you..did you just--"
"No, you're not a bitch, of course--"
"You called me a--"
"No! You know what, I’m going to sleep.” He said laying on the floor.
"Son of a bitch." I muttered angrily. He called me a fucking bitch. The audacity!! I mean, he's a bitch! Not me! He is! He's a fucking bitch!! Right? He's a bitch. A stupid..
I suddenly snapped out of my daydream and realised Mason was speaking to someone. I then realised....he was sleeping and talking….sleep talking?
“Mason?” I asked, trying to wake him up. He was having a nightmare.
“Don’t kill me…” He kept saying. I sat on one of the office spinny chairs and wheeled myself over to him. He was lying down on the floor sweating. I took off his jumper which was already wet. I watched him struggling to breathe--
“Stop it!” Mason screamed. “I can’t breathe!” He screamed again. "
Now I was on full panic mode. “Mason, wake up!” I shouted kicking him on the side.
“Mason?” I asked, my heart stopped in an instant when I didn't get a response. He didn't move nor speak. He was silent..
“Mason?!” I screamed. “Nonononoonono….this can’t be happening…..” I burst out crying. I dropped on the floor and started to shake him. My muscles were too weak. But I managed to roll him on his back by pushing him with my whole body.
I began screaming in his ear. “Get up Mason get up!!! It’s just a fucking dre! Get up!!!” I kept slapping him and punching his arm as hard as I could but my punches and slaps were as weak as a newborn. I suddenly broke down into tears. “You can’t do this to me..nonononono...no…..I need you!! I can't live without you!!!”
I started to hyperventilate and breathe rapidly, the blood was pounding in my ears, my heart started thudding rapidly. I couldn’t breathe. It felt like hours had gone by. My heart was pounding way too loudly and after a while, I could hear my name being called. My head was swirling around and I was staggering around the place. I felt someone sit me down but my head was just all over the place and then suddenly…..I passed out…
