Xander stared at me as if I was crazy. Then he took the towel off my arm and freaked out. “I’m calling Alex.” He said already calling her. He went to the other side of the room and started talking.
Alex put my arm under the sink and let the cold water run. After a few moments, he took my arm out and put a fresh new towel on it. He sat me down on the kitchen counter. “You have serious problems.”
Xander quickly filled a cup with water from the water filter and gave it to me. He gave it to me and I refused to drink it. “I can’t.”
“Alex says you have to.”
"Well I don't care."
"Sky, you need to. You just lost 2 hours of blood!"
"Xander, I really don't care. It was the most satisfying feeling ever. I didn't have to worry about anything. Just loved to see the blood pour out of the letters." I smiled.
He sighed. "Sky--"
"That's my new name."
"No, it's Sky--"
"I said Larksy."
"Okay, just drink some water." He said handing it to my left hand, it slid and shattered to the floor. He froze for a second. "Did you have a seizure?"
He looked at Alex. "Did she?"
"No, she's lost so much blood, she can't even feel her left hand." Alex took the towel off and showed him the two words I had written. Xander looked like he'd just seen a ghost.
"Why did you do that, the cut is so deep?" He asked looking at it closely. "Selfish? Larksy? Who called you those?"
"I actually don't know. Almost everyone."
"But you're not selfish."
I sighed looking at my work of art. "Artist of the year, Larksy." I said watching the blood drip. Xander tried to stop it with the towel but I didn't let him.
"Both of you are unbelievable." I said trying not to faint. I feel really dizzy.
"Drink some water. Please."
"No." I said.
"Do it or I'll call your mum telling her what you've just done."
"Yeah, well what's she gonna do? Scold me for a whole year? Go on."
He hesitated then opened my mouth and started giving me the water.
"Xander what are you doing. She'll drown."
"No she won't." He said pouring the water in. "Grab her hands!!"
Alex quickly held onto them, I tried to push him off but trust me, Takwendo master, no chance. I coughed and almost drowned on the water. The water went into my nose and Alex took the cup from him. "You are ridiculous." He hissed at Xander.
Xander snatched it off him and poured the rest into my mouth.
I started coughing. The water had gone through my nose. "This is murder!" I said once I finished drinking the water.
"That wasn't hard was it."
"I don't feel well."
"No, I don't feel well."
They both looked at me clearly not buying it. "Seriously don't feel well."
"You need some sleep. You've lost a lot of blood and if it doesn't stop bleeding then we are going to A&E."
"I feel really sick."
"You want to puke?"
"No." I said.
"Then what?" Xander asked.
"Never mind." I said trying to stay awake.
"Do you want to sleep?"
"No." I said. "I feel dizzy."
"Sky, I'm sure--"
Then I started moaning. They both looked at me confused. "What's wrong?" I kept moaning.
"Sky you okay? We should take you to A&E--"
"Seizure!" Xander panicked as my arm started shaking. And I burst out crying. "Calm down. I'm sure it'll stop soon." He said checking the time.
"I'll call Alex." Alex said.
Xander laid me down properly on the counter. "Calm down."
"My arm." I sobbed.
"Calm down yeah. Sooner you calm down, the quicker."
I kept moaning and shaking and heaving for about another two minutes when he started panicking. "She still hasn't stopped."
I kept looking down at my arm.
"Sky can you talk?"
"My arm." I started crying.
"Calm down. It's fine."
"I want Mason."
"Well he's not here." He smiled sadly. "We all miss him but he clearly doesn't."
My arm kept shaking still. Alex had finished talking on the phone and now they were looking at my arm completely scared.
"I'll get a pillow." Alex said leaving the kitchen. He came back with a blanket and two pillows. He placed one under my head and another on my arm. Then put the blanket on me. Xander kept looking more and more worried until I suddenly reached five minutes. He looked inside all the cupboards until he found my emergency medicine. He turned me on my side and injected it in my mouth. After a while, I'd calmed down.
"Y...yes." I whispered my arm twitching a bit.
Alex sighed. "Do you want anything?"
"Okay." He said getting up. I moaned again. And twitched again.
"Alex were are you going?"
"What if she has another--"
"You call me. I'm going to buy some stuff."
I twitched again and moaned.
"I'm out." Alex said opening and closing the front door.
"Never mind him." He sighed. I moaned again and twitched. "Calvin doesn't trust me does he?"
"You're supposed to say yes."
"Ye--" I moaned again. "Yes."
"Now I know you're--"
I twitched again. And moaned. And twitched. And moaned again. And twitched--
"Sky calm down. Are you having---"
My arm started shaking again. "Sky calm down." He said. I started moaning and crying.
"Calm down." He panicked and took his phone out. "Alex, she's having another one. I told you to stay--"
"I'm coming." He said. "Is she okay?"
"Her arm is shaking and she's crying and moaning a lot so she's totally fine." He said sarcastically.
"I'm coming." He said cutting the call.
"Shhhhh." He said. "Please stop crying. Shhhhh."
"What's happening? Sky?" Calvin, or Noah, wait Calvin. Rushed over to us. "What happened?"
"She's having a seizure." Xander said.
Calvin froze for a second and then flinched. Once, twice, three times.
"Calvin please stop. I'm not going to hit you again."
He took a small step back. "Noah said that and he hit me today."
"He kissed another girl and I got mad so I hit him but he punched me back." Calvin burst out crying. I started moaning again but my arm had stopped shaking.
"Calvin, I'll talk to him--"
"Don't hurt him."
"I won't. Promise." Xander said. "Please just stop flinching."
"You hit me."
"And I won't again."
Xander got up to walk over to him but he flinched. Xander bit his lip and was about to leave when Calvin suddenly hugged him. He froze for a second and hugged him back but I can see Calvin was flinching continuously.
"Don't worry. I promise, I'll never ever hit you." Xander pulled out. He lifted his chin but he flinched again.
"I promise I won't...okay?"
"Okay." He said. Xander turned back around to face me. "You've stopped?"
"Right." He opened the freezer and took a big packet of ice and placed it on my arm. Then looked at my other arm. Xander sat next to me. "You shouldn't have cut yourself. It--"
"Cut? She cut herself?"
Xander looked at my arm. "She did."
Calvin took the soaking wet towel and looked at what I'd written.
"Selfish? Larksy? Who's Larksy?"
"Her apparently, new name."
"I don't know what you're on about but Sky I didn't mean to call you that. It just slipped out."
"Mistakes happen." Xander said.
"You didn't make a mistake, you regret it now." Calvin said.
"I wasn't talking about me."
"Sure you weren't." He said going to the fridge and pulling out a can of coke. "Want some?"
I laid still.
"Is that a no?"
"Exactly." I said. The ice was working. My arm was feeling better and I was gaining my strength back a bit. Then I took the ice pack and put it on my face. After a few minutes of hearing them discuss their feelings, I removed it and exhaled. I sat up. "Can I have some water?"
"Now is when you need it." He said filling a glass up. I drank it all, and then another, and another--"
"Sky are you okay?"
"No, I'm thirsty."
He gave me another and another and then he stopped. "You still thirsty?"
"One more." I said. "I've now drank three Letres."
"Great." He sighed. Then out of nowhere I puked on him. He was about to shout at me but he took a deep breath in and out. "It's fine. I won't die."
Calvin looked up from his phone. "Ewww." He started walking away.
"Get back here. You are helping me clean up the sink while I go change--"
Then I puked on him again. And again. Then he screamed. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He stormed out the kitchen. The place was silent.
"So..." Calvin laughed awkwardly. "He's just annoyed about the vomit. Not you."
"I know." I lied. "Not annoyed by me."
"You sound like you're trying to reassure yourself."
"I've annoyed him a lot." I said looking at my stained clothes.
"You haven't." He lied. "I'm sure he'll apologise later."
"Yeah." I said clearly not believing him. And he knew too. He put some gloves on and started cleaning the sink. "Why would you do that to yourself?"
"I was just trying it for once and then...I got carried away."
"But why would you do it in the first place?"
"I was convincing myself I was worthless and I had to think of a way to distract myself and then I...thought about you, how you got through your pain and you said it helped, it made you forget the pain..."
He fell silent for a while. He didn't say anything...just lost in thought. "You tried to kill yourself in hospital..."
"Noah told you...?"
"Yeah...and I can't believe I didn't realise what you were doing in your room. I did find it suspicious but your voice, it sounded like you were fine. That was a red flag but I didn't..."
"Why you crying?"
"What if we lost you?"
"But you wouldn't have."
"Tell me the truth, did you at any point think about killing yourself?"
I bit my lip. "I did...but then I thought about you all discovering my dead body and..."
He rushed over to me and hugged me. "Why would you ever even think about it? You're my friend, my everything okay. I don't want you to ever do anything like this again. You know we all love you."
"You do. I know everyone does...but actions speak louder than words." I sighed. He looked at me confused. "What?"
"Even if Xander doesn't tell me, I know he finds my epilepsy irritating--"
"Don't try and deny it. Every time, I have a seizure, something just has to happen. I get he does his best but..."
"Sky what are you on about? He doesn't mind. I don't."
"You don't. Mason doesn't. Both Alexes don't. Gemma, Lucas, Aiden don't mind...but Noah does."
"He freaks out and leaves me be. How mean can he be?!"
"He leaves you alone?"
"He faints at the sight of vomit, talk about blood."
"I still don't get why he wants to specialize in pediatrics."
"Same...but why does he act like this?"
"He loves you. That's all you need to know."
"Anyways, Alex on the other hand--"
"Your brother, even if he doesn't come to my seizures, at least he does something nice. Unlike some people that freak out...but you don't."
"Yeah. I am used to it." He said going back to the sink. "Don't ever do that again."
"It was fascinating--"
"Yeah...is Noah really that upset?"
"Well, he did hug me but I kept flinched and almost had a panic attack. Then I started crying. Then he got mad and stormed off." He blushed. "And I tried to talk to him but I was too scared."
"And...do you trust him now?"
"No...yes...I don't know..."
"Okay, how about Xander?"
He was about to flinch but stopped himself. "I trust him..."
"Just scared a bit."
"Do you want to hang out with us?"
"I think I'll stay here."
"They don't hate you."
"I know." I lied. He knew too. "I'm serious."
"Okay, yeah. I believe you."
He finished cleaning and took my blazer and shirt off. "These need to be cleaned. Imagine you did that in school, you'll go straight to a therapist or probably to a mental asylum. Not that you're mental but they'd think so."
"Thanks. That's great to hear." I said sarcastically.
"Just come with us. You haven't gone out with them for a while, at least that's what Lucas said." He sighed.
"I'm fine. I don't need to go." I said. I felt really bad right now..sad and lonely and friendless--
"I'm not going either." He said going into the laundry room. He came out a few seconds later.
"What do you mean? I thought you wanted to--"
"I don't anymore." He lied.
"I know you're not going just for me. Just please go."
"No. I will keep you company."
"Calvin...just go. I won't be mad or anything."
"I know but it's still a no."
I sighed. "Just go."
"Nope." He said throwing the gloves in the bin. "Watch when the FBI come knocking on our door and see the bin and your clothes."
Then the front door opened. Alex 1.1. "Hello people of the century!"
"Do you always have to say that?"
"What? It's true." She said.
"Whatever." Calvin sighed.
"Sky are you okay now?" She walked over to me and looked at my arm. She looked really scared. "Selfish? Larksy?"
"My new name."
"Who called you selfish?"
"Sky you're the least selfish person alive."
"Of course." I said sarcastically.
"No seriously." She said opening the cupboard and taking out a bandage she started wrapping it around my arm. "It'll heal."
"Good. But will the writing go?"
"Great." I smiled.
"Sky you okay?"
"You're going to hate me."
"I broke up with Noah."
She looked at me so mad and was about to shout but then she left the kitchen and went upstairs.
"She's mad at me. I'm moving out." I said getting up but falling on the floor. "I'm fine." I said getting up again.
"Where are you going?!"
"I don't know. Somewhere."
I started going up the stairs and into my room. Calvin came in and saw me packing.
"Alex, Sky's doing a runner!"
"Calvin shut up!!"
Then Alex came into the room quickly. I hid my bag behind me.
"Are you running away?"
"No." I lied.
"No I'm not!"
"What's behind you?"
"Just some books."
"Oh look, a bird!" I pointed behind her. She didn't fall for it. She walked up to me and snatched the bag from me. It had most of my clothes.
"Why are you running away?"
"No reason." I lied. "Just exploring the world."
"She thinks everyone's mad at her for breaking up with Noah."
"That's true but you can't run away."
"And I can't stay in a place where people hate me." I snatched the bag back.
"No one hates you."
I scoffed. "Typical."
"Let go off me. I'm moving out and there is nothing, you can do about it."
"What? Sky what is wrong with you?!"
"That's what Xander said before, then stormed out the room isn't it. What is wrong with me? Oh, tons. I forgive people too easily and too much, why not listen to you guys and stop forgiving people? Let's start with Noah." I took my phone out.
"Don't you dare!!" She snatched it off me. "What is your problem?!"
"My problem, is that no one understands me."
"Nonono, if you did, you'd understand why I do what I do. What I do all the time. You all just, act like it's bullshit and I'm always the one that looks out, and you are all ungrateful because you don't care!"
"You say that. Isn't it. None of you ever realise anything apart from when I say. And when I do, you all don't believe me! And so now, I'm re-thinking everything. I mean, all of you are so blind you can't see the pain someone's in or you can't see the obvious!!"
"What? There's nothing wrong--"
"Nothing wrong. Yeah, well today, I saved Aiden from having a panic attack. I did. No one realised, not even Lucas. I keep thinking about others but no one gets that. No one. Everyone just minds themselves while I worry about making someone feel better. I am weird. I like to see people smile and be happy while you all think I'm being crazy. You think I'm being crazy when I'm giving people second chances, your brother should be sending a minimum of 5 to eight years in prison!!"
They didn't say anything. Stupid.
I scoffed. "Don't go ahead now, crying and thinking about all the things I didn't do because you all rub me off like I'm garbage. Full of bullshit. A sixteen year old scared of the dark and can't sleep on her own in case ghosts kill her and a sixteen year old who has anger issues so go on. Go on, tell me I'm crazy! Tell me I'm selfish!"
"You're not crazy and you're not selfish. You're the opposite of that--"
"Stop the cap." I said leaving the room and slamming the door. I went downstairs to the basement and found Esmeralda talking to two people. "Sky can you please knock."
"Sorry. Do you want any help?"
"Aren't you supposed to be at school?!"
"I had to leave early. I broke up with Noah."
Her jaw dropped. "Excuse me, I'll be back in a sec." She said pulling me out the room. "Why?"
"Well, he kissed a girl." I mumbled realising how stupid I sound.
"He kissed one girl and you kissed....never mind." She sighed. "And is he okay now?"
"I just want to help. Any jobs I can do?"
"Not really. How about, later?"
"Sure." I fake smiled going upstairs. She saw too but didn't say anything. I went into Xander's room and laid on his bed and started swearing. I swore and swore until I had ran out of swear words. Yeah I named the whole ABC. To Z. Ooof.
"You okay?" Xander came in.
"Great. Just said all the swear words from A-Z."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't--"
"I know you find my epilepsy irritating. Don't deny it."
"Woah, who said that?"
"I don't hate it or find it irritating. I'm just...I freak out. I mean, I have learnt about it, but I still freak out."
"Just like Noah."
"No, Noah leaves the room. I stay and don't leave."
"What are you on about?"
I sat up. "Don't worry." I said getting up and leaving the room.
"Sky what did you mean?"
"You're a great person." I said sarcastically.
He looked hurt. Serves him right. Oh god, I'm evil...shit. I went into the bathroom to shower and came back out and into my room and put my clothes on. I spent hours playing Roblox. Addictive. I did get the new skins on Piggy. Yes, all of them and this one kid really pissed me off. I couldn't kill her. I'm mad right now. Anyways, I will continue playing and eating my stupid dinner. I haven't spoken to Alex 1.1 or Xander, not even Calvin. I looked at the time again, it was night time. Midnight!?!? I sighed and laid back on my bed. I tried to sleep for ten minutes when I called Mason. "Hi--"
"I'm sleeping! I am sick and tired--"
"I just wanted to say hi..."
"You are unbelievable." He scoffed and cut the call. Fine. I am unbelievable. That's what he thinks. I don't even care what he says. I don't care!! I looked at the lights. I can't switch them off. I tried sleeping for the next five minutes but it was impossible. There are ghosts in this room. The light isn't even helping.
I got up and quietly opened the door. I looked at Alex 1.2's door and knocked quietly. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. Then I opened it. I saw him fast asleep. I looked at the space next to him and laid down. Then shared his blanket. "Alex," I whispered.
He turned to face me and instantly sat up. "Sky?!"
"Sorry, I can't sleep. I'm not a ghost. Well I am." I said.
"Nope. I can't sleep and Mason doesn't care."
"So do I."
"Fine then." I said going back to my room. I laid back down on my bed. I can survive. I survived five nights alone, with no light. I closed my eyes and turned to my side. Then my other one. Then my other one. I can't FUCKING sleep!!!
Then I heard a scream. I jumped up and knocked onto Calvin's door. No reply. Then I entered and saw him breathing heavily and it looked like he was having a nightmare. I looked around for his inhaler and found it. I went up to him and saw he was sweating a lot. Then I switched the light on and saw his whole shirt and hair was covered in sweat. He opened his eyes and tried to steady his breathing. I gave him his inhaler but it slipped through his hand. He looked really sick.
"Calvin you okay?"
He looked dehydrated. Like seriously sick. I looked for a plastic bag and threw all the books out. I put it under him and he puked in it. His eyes were opening and closing. "Calvin..."
He didn't say anything. He was just exhausted. Really exhausted. Then he started shaking. Shaking. Seizure. Nonononono. Seizure. God no. "Calvin?"
He was having a seizure. He looked really really really sick.
"Calvin calm down." I whispered taking the blanket off him. He just kept shaking and shaking. "Calvin stop." I whispered. I knew there was no point on telling him to stop.
"Calvin, listen. Don't worry." I said feeling his damp forehead. "Calvin you're sweating a lot. Shhhhhh." I whispered checking the time. "Calvin, you need to stop crying. I will be back in a second. Don't worry. I promise I'll be back." I said running down the stairs, I opened the kitchen cupboard and took the emergency medication and ran upstairs into Calvin's room again. "Shhhhhh. They'll hear you."
I looked at the time. "5 minutes." I said injecting the medicine in his mouth. I waited a few seconds and started panicking because he hasn't stopped, and then he finally did. "Calvin you okay?"
He just looked at me trying to say something, but then he burst out crying. I took his shirt off and then wiped his forehead and removed the pillow off him. "There you go." I exhaled. "Don't worry..." I said feeling his forehead. It was really hot. Burning hot.
"I'm sorry, I can't call them here...they'll think I passed it onto you."
Calvin kept crying and I wiped his drool. "Don't worry. You don't have epilepsy. You just have a high fever." I said. "You're really wet."
"I can't call the ambulance. They'll come and then they'll--"
He burst out crying. "Calvin calm down, you'll be fine."
"Calvin. Listen, I know you're scared but--"
I realised he was going to puke and I put the plastic bag under him. "Calvin calm down." I said as he puked inside. "Calvin don't worry."
After a few minutes have gone, I realised he was starting to get better. I smiled. "You're not sweating anymore." I tied the bag and took it to the downstairs bin. I came back up and wiped him. Then he started heaving...and stopped. I froze. I started slapping him. "Calvin!!" I checked for a pulse, it was slowing, and slowing and slowing. I started to panic. What the fuck do I do? CPR. Yes, CPR.
I leaned in and started chest compression. After a few tries he came back alive. That sounds dramatic. I checked his pulse and after ten minutes or so, it was becoming a bit more steadier. His eyes kept battering and he twitched every now and then.
I closed the light and laid down next to him. His hair was still wet but at least he stopped sweating. I closed my eyes and fell asleep my arms wrapped around him. "I love you, calm down. Every now and then, he'd twitch and I'd comfort him, it kept like that. Then he had a nightmare, and another one. Then after three hours, he fell asleep. How sweet. Shut the fuck up.