The Mis-Adventures of Star Cat

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Chapter 9

[Time: 11:35 AM]

Cheese quickly turned the hover craft on auto-pilot, jumped up from his captain’s chair, grabbed his screwdriver, and began slowly walking towards the storage room. With Star Cat following closely behind him, he looked back at her and bravely said, “If anything should happen to me, don’t be a hero. Save yourself.” Star Cat looked very concerned, but she nodded, and they both continued creeping towards the storage room. Let the record show that I, the Narrator, am not afraid at all.

“Oh please,” said Star Cat turning around and looking at me, “if you’re not afraid then why don’t you come out from behind the bathroom door?”

[Narrator] I’m not coming out of the bathroom because I still need to blow-dry my hair. If I don’t blow-dry my hair right after I shower, it gets all frizzy.

“Guys be quiet!” yelled Cheese. “I’m trying to catch an alien here, and it’s already a little nerve-wracking without you two bickering!”

[Narrator] So, Star Cat and I shut up, and Cheese opened the door to the storage room by turning the nob very slowly and holding his screwdriver at the ready, just in case he needed to defend himself. Smoke leaked out of the opening in the door, and it was so thick that we couldn’t see anything. Cheese silently stepped inside the storage room and disappeared into the heavy fog.

A moment later, running faster than I’ve ever seen anyone run, Cheese burst out of the storage room and back into the hallway screaming, “Ahhhhh! Don’t let it eat me!”

[Narrator] Cheese calm down! What are you talking about? Don’t let what eat you?

“Narrator, you don’t understand,” said Cheese between breaths as his eyes widened, “I couldn’t see anything!” He started to whisper, “It was so scary…*breath*…so scary.”

Star Cat had a look of terror on her face as she tried to think positively and said, “Maybe it’s a nice alien. I think we should all just wait here for it to come out of the foggy room so it can introduce itself.”

Still trying to catch his breath, Cheese managed to say, “Star Cat might be right…*breath*…It could have attacked me when I went into the room, …*breath*…but it didn’t.”

[Narrator] Well Cheese you really didn’t give the alien much time to attack you even if it wanted to.

“Hahaha!!!” Star Cat fell on the floor because she was laughing so hard. Meanwhile, Cheese was glaring at me.

[Narrator] Don’t get me wrong Cheese, you tried to be brave, and you made it further than me or Star Cat probably would have.

Jumping up quickly from laughing on the floor, Star Cat said, “I believe that I will take your latest comment as a challenge, Narrator, and I will make it further than Cheese did.” Geeze, Star Cat sure is competitive.

“Wait,” huffed Cheese, “I can’t let Star Cat be braver…*breath*…than I am.”

[Narrator] Too late Cheese. You should learn to catch your breath faster. She’s already in the room. And Star Cat did go in the room. Thinking only about being braver than Cheese, she didn’t really even consider the alien anymore. The whole idea of proving me, the Narrator, wrong was much more powerful than any fear she may have had previously. Cheese and I were quiet as mice, pun intended, while we waited for Star Cat to re-emerge from the storage room.

Several minutes went by, and, after hearing some clanging and rustling noises coming from the storage room, we were starting to get worried about Star Cat. So, I elbowed Cheese, and he yelled, “Hey Star Cat! Everything going okay in there?”

We heard Star Cat’s voice from deep within the storage room. She yelled, “Yeah, yeah everything’s great!”

Cheese and I looked at each other in confusion, and Cheese yelled, “Well, did you find the alien or what?”

“Hang on one second!”

[Narrator] After about one second passed, Star Cat came sauntering out of the storage room, all slicked up and glossy-looking wearing a fresh new coat of her “hair gel”. She struck a pose and asked, “How do I look?”

Cheese started to reply, “Well, you look fine, but -”

Star Cat cut him off and said, “No, no, you don’t have to answer the question. I know I look amazing.” Then she winked at him and made a kissy face.

“No, Star Cat, really I need to tell you that –”

Star Cat cut Cheese off again and said, “Cheese darling, don’t say anything. I know we have only known each other for a couple of book chapters now, but I think I might like-like you. And there is no doubt in my mind how you must feel about me…”

“Star Cat!” yelled Cheese, “THERE IS AN EYEBALL ON YOU!”

Star Cat was getting mad now because Cheese was obviously not taking her speech of passion seriously, and so she sarcastically remarked, “Duh, Cheese, like you, I have 2 eyeballs!”

“NO…THIS ONE MAKES 3!” Cheese screamed and jumped back even further away from her. Star Cat looked down at her fur and suddenly locked “eyes” with an alien eyeball.

At first, she was frozen with fear, but then she frantically started wiping the hair gel off of her fur, running around in circles, and screaming, “GET IT OFF ME! EWWWWWWWWW!!!!”

Star Cat was flinging her beloved “hair gel” everywhere. The eyeball that was previously on Star Cat was now sliding down the wall along with a bunch of other green goo. After a minute or two, Star Cat paused to check herself out. When she didn’t see the eyeball on her fur anymore, she let out a sigh of relief and said, “Phew, that was close.”

“I’ll say,” said a strange voice coming from behind Star Cat.

[Narrator] We all screamed when we heard the strange voice because, well, it was a strange voice. To make matters worse, we could not even see where the voice was coming from. We were looking all around to try to locate the source, and then suddenly all the globs of goo started to move towards one another and form into one larger, green glob.

“Looks like a giant booger,” said Star Cat under her breath, “gross.”

Then, the eye that was on Star Cat appeared again in the middle of the green glob. Two little arms poked out of the glob too. It reached out a hand to Star Cat and said, “My name is, !@#$%^&*)(*&^%$#@!, nice to meet you.”

Star Cat, still totally freaked out, shook the alien’s hand and said, “My name is Star Cat, and would you possibly have a nickname? Because your actual name is, while interesting, very, very impossible for me to pronounce.”

The alien thought about it for a second and then said, “Sure. You can call me Slimey. That’s what mother always used to call me.”

[Time: 11:50 AM]

With a great big smile on her face, Star Cat said, “It’s nice to meet you too, Slimey. Sorry about flinging you all over the walls. I didn’t know you were alive in the first place, or I would never have tried to use you as hair gel. Then your eye appearing on my body really caught me off guard. So, yeah, I freaked out.”

“Oh no worries,” said Slimey, “it happens more often than you’d think. I would have introduced myself earlier, but I was sleeping so my eye was closed so it just blends in with the rest of me when I’m asleep.” Then he winked at Star Cat and said, “Hey, if you ever need a little gel for your hair, just ask.”

[Narrator] Cheese and I let out two huge sighs of relief.

“Thank the galaxy that you are a nice alien!” said Cheese.

Slimey looked at Cheese and said, “Well, thank you for assuming that I’m nice.”

Star Cat looked at Slimey and asked, “You are a nice alien, right?”

Slimey hesitated for a second, shrugged his shoulders and said, “Yeah, sure. I can do the whole, ‘I come in peace,’ thing.”

Cheese felt that Slimey’s answer was a bit off-putting and said, “If you don’t mind me asking, why were you flying around in that shooting star?”

Slimey’s voice broke as he nervously responded, “Oh, well, that’s a long story, and I’d rather not get into that seeing as we all just met. Why don’t you all tell me more about yourselves?”

Cheese was getting pretty skeptical of this alien. He replied, “No, I’d like to know why you are here because I’m not so sure about any of this.”

Slimey rolled his eye with frustration, and then he said, “Well, why don’t we talk about Star Cat then?”

Hearing that lovely suggestion, Star Cat jumped on the opportunity to talk about herself. Though, once she starts talking about herself there is generally no stopping her, and Slimey was forced to listen to her while Cheese and I had our own little private conversation.

“I don’t think I like this alien being on our ship, Narrator,” whispered Cheese.

[Narrator] Yeah, Cheese, I agree. Something seems strange about him. I think this alien needs to go.

Star Cat was still jabbering away with Slimey. So, Cheese interjected and said, “Okay, it was nice to meet you Mr. Slimeball, but we really need to be going now. I’m sure you need to get back into your asteroid and continue flying to your destination as well.”

Suddenly, Slimey grabbed Star Cat’s paw and some of his goo began sinking into her fur. Before Star Cat even realized what was happening, her eyes started to glow green. Then, in Slimey’s voice, Star Cat said, “No, I like Slimey. He’s my new friend now. He can stay with us.”

[Time: 12:05 PM]

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