The Mis-Adventures of Star Cat

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Chapter 12

[Narrator] Okay everybody, let’s do a quick recap of everything so we’re clear. Star Cat was kitten-napped, Cheese realized that he needed to start distancing himself from his crazy father, we almost died from a meteor (which is, like, so last Cretaceous Period), there’s a ball of green goo with possessive super powers who won’t leave, and now there are two UFO’s showing up on the space ship’s radar. Seriously, what else can happen today?

[Time: 3:30 PM]

Cheese was beginning to nod-off when he heard my rant and shook himself awake. He sat up slowly and sleepily asked, “What did you say about UFO’s Narrator? Or was that all just a dream?”

[Narrator] No, no, it’s real. There are two new UFO’s headed straight for us.

All of a sudden, Cheese wasn’t tired anymore. He frantically looked at the radar and pushed a bunch of buttons. “Well,” he said while scratching his chin, “one of the UFO’s is too small to be my father’s spaceship, but the other one is large enough.”

[Narrator] Is that bad?

“I don’t think so. My father usually travels with two or three additional spaceships for extra protection. My bet is that the big one is just a delivery ship, and the little one is not concerning at all. Probably just a kid on a hoverboard.”

[Narrator] Oh, phew. That’s a relief.

“Yeah, not to worry. Even if it was my father,” said Cheese, “we’ll be landing on the Sun soon anyways. So, he’ll never be able to find us on that huge star.”

“What?” asked Star Cat from the back of the ship.

“What do you mean, what?” asked Cheese.

Star Cat walked up to the cockpit and said, “I thought I heard someone say my name.”

[Narrator] Oh no, sorry, we were just talking about the star.

Hearing that, Star Cat dramatically whipped her fur back and forth, struck a pose, and said, “Your star has arrived, my good people. How would you prefer to appreciate me? Like this,” Star Cat struck a different pose, and then another, “or like this?”

Star Cat was being so goofy that Cheese couldn’t help but giggle. Then, while shaking his head, he said, “Go back and continue your conversation with Slimey, Star Cat. I’ll let you know when we land.”

Star Cat saluted Cheese and said, “Aye-aye, Captain.” Then she quickly ran back to keep telling Slimey all about herself. Slimey must have been intimidated by Star Cat earlier because he was somehow managing to listen to Star Cat talk about herself for roughly two hours without complaining even once.

Cheese was still shaking his head and smiling when he whispered, “What a dork,” about Star Cat.

[Narrator] She is definitely a dork, but I think you might have a crush on her, right?

Blushing hard, Cheese turned away from me and said, “No, I just think she’s funny. We’re friends.”

[Narrator] Uh huh, sure. Well, I suppose it’s none of my business. Anyways, even though we weren’t there yet, it seemed like were close enough to the Sun to reach out and touch it. It was so huge that it took up the entire view! We had been flying towards it for so long, but it almost felt like we weren’t moving because we never seemed to get any closer to the surface. After a few more minutes of flying, we finally started seeing some signs for the “Palace Parking Lot.” Wait a minute, Cheese, is there another royal family here?

“Yeah, Narrator. Why do you ask?”

[Narrator] Because, won’t they recognize you and tell your father that we’re here?

Cheese waved away my apparently ridiculous worries and said, “No, they won’t say anything. My father probably didn’t even think to alert any of the other royals because, well, he would rather not interact with them. And believe me, the feeling is mutual from the other royals. So, there is no reason to be worried at all. But we do need to start putting on sunblock so we don’t shrivel up like little raisins.”

“Raisins? I love raisins!” yelled Star Cat from the back of the ship.

“Are we there yet?” asked Slimey with desperation in his voice.

“Almost,” said Cheese as he threw Star Cat the bag of sunblock. “Start sun-blocking-up, guys!”

Star Cat squeezed some sunblock out of the bag, threw the bag to Slimey, and then asked, “Where are the raisins?” as she was rubbing sunblock on her fur.

[Narrator] There are no raisins, Star Cat.

“Thank heavens she’s finally talking to someone else,” said Slimey as he wiped his brow with exhaustion. Seemingly, it took a lot of effort for him to remain calm while listening to Star Cat’s stories.

[Narrator] Star Cat acted like she didn’t hear Slimey’s last comment because she knew, deep down, that he enjoyed their conversation.

“If you could even call it a conversation,” said Slimey. “I didn’t get to talk very much.”

Star Cat turned to Slimey slowly, took a bow, and simply said, “You’re welcome.”

[Narrator] Slimey didn’t respond. I guess he was either too shocked at Star Cat’s pompousness or too tired to care.

“Alright everybody, listen up,” said Cheese while we were all applying a heavy coat of sunblock. “The itinerary is to go to the palace, ask for some metal, and leave. Narrator and I saw some possibly suspicious dots on the radar earlier, so we want to get in and get out. Any questions?”

Star Cat slowly raised her hand, but Cheese stopped her before she could ask about raisins. He let out a little sigh and then said, “Yes, Star Cat, we can stop and get some raisins for you. Any other questions?” Cheese looked at all of us one more time to be sure that nobody had a question, and then he continued by saying, “Just follow my lead, and we’ll be sitting in a metal clubhouse on a beautiful asteroid in no time!”

[Time: 4 PM]

[Narrator] The hover craft landed in the palace parking lot, which was so large that they had the rows numbered. Okay everybody, we’re in Row X7H29005. We’ll be able to remember that, right?

Star Cat jumped out of the hovercraft and started making a B-line for the town surrounding the palace. She was on the “hunt” for raisins. As she was running away from me, she yelled, “Of course you’ll remember that, no problem, Narrator!”

Cheese and Slimey both gave me a pat on the shoulder, nodded in agreement with Star Cat’s comment, and slowly walked out of the hovercraft. I reluctantly followed, none the more assured that we were going to be able to find our parking spot later. The place was packed. Oh well...

“Wow,” said Cheese, “Star Cat can really run fast when she wants to.”

Slimey giggled and said, “Raisins are pretty good. Quite the underrated snack, actually.”

[Narrator] Star Cat disappeared into the town, and I became instantly worried. Cheese, should we yell for her to wait for us? We’ll never find her in there!

Cheese shook his head and said, “Believe me, Narrator. I’ve been here many times, and we’ll have no trouble finding her, I promise.”

[Narrator] I was a little puzzled by Cheese’s statement, but he said he knew where he was going, so I let it go. I was not in the mood to chase after Star Cat anyways. I never am, really. But it’s a tough job, and someone has to do it. Plus, it pays my bills which is a nice perk.

Cheese looked back at me and asked, “Have you ever vacationed on the Sun, Narrator?” In response, I, the Narrator, shook my head, ‘No,’ and then Cheese asked, “What about you, Slimey? Have you ever vacationed here?”

Slimey hesitated for a second, and said, “Well, I wouldn’t call it vacationing so much as sight-seeing really. But, yeah, I’ve been here before, a time or two.”

[Narrator] As we were chatting, we strolled into town, and Star Cat was, of course, nowhere to be found. However, after glancing at the different signs on the storefronts, I instantly knew where she was; she had to be in the Candy Store!

“Star Cat’s probably not in the dogtor’s office,” said Slimey.

As we passed by the Candy Store, we could see Star Cat inside. She had found what could only be considered as the holy grail of sun-dried raisins. Well, I guess it was more of a holy barrel rather than a holy grail, but you get what I mean. There must have been hundreds of different candies in that store, but Star Cat was obviously interested in only one. You could tell that she didn’t want any other candy because her tongue was hanging out and there were raisin-colored hearts in her eyes. Typical Star Cat.

Quickly, Slimey asked, “Should we knock on the window to get her attention? We’re kind of on a schedule, aren’t we?”

[Narrator] She could be in there for a while. We’ll probably save time if we let her shop here and just go to the palace ourselves. Then, on our way out, we can meet her here with all her goodies and leave peacefully…hopefully.

On that note, Cheese shrugged his shoulders, turned on his heels, and continued up the hill to the palace, leaving Star Cat peacefully behind in her candy haven.

[Narrator] After walking through the quaint little town, there was a windy path that led up to the palace which was perched at the top of a hill. Right before we started up the path, Slimey looked at me carrying my podium and asked, “Hey Narrator, would you like some help with that podium? It must get heavy after a while, and this hill is pretty steep.”

[Narrator] I didn’t really think the hill was too steep, but it’s not very often that someone offers to help me with my podium. So, of course I agreed. Carrying this podium around is tougher than it looks. I mean it’s made out of solid wood, and, gosh, a lady gets tired every now and then.

While Slimey was trying to get a good grip on my podium, he asked, “Why do you carry this thing around anyways?”

[Narrator] Well, it’s part of the uniform. So, really, I have no choice. Thank you for offering to help me, though! I appreciate it.

As we approached the doors to the palace, Cheese rang the intercom bell and announced his presence, “Hello Queen Sun Spot, this is Prince Cheesy Moon Mouse speaking. May we come in? I have a few friends with me.”

The intercom buzzed and a voice responded, “Cheesy Moon Mouse! I was in the middle of a nap, but what a nice surprise. Sure thing, come on in.”

[Time: 4:15 PM]

Then the doors opened up automatically, displaying a very beautiful palace filled with all the things that any dog would love. Golden bones and leashes adorned the walls, the floor was decorated with tennis balls, and there were ropes hanging all about, just in case you needed to give one a good tug. A dog guard came over to us, licked Cheese on the face, and then said, “Welcome to the Sun Palace of Canines. Please, follow me.”

As we were walking through the palace, Cheese said to the guard dog, “Wow, I really like what you have done with the place. It’s different every single time I’m here.”

“Well, as you can all imagine, there is a lot of work that goes into the interior decorating here,” said the guard. “So many toys, and so little time. Not only do we have to bury all of the old, worn-out toys, but then we have to make sure the new toys are of the highest quality by playing with them as well. It can be stressful at times.”

[Narrator] What an interesting culture.

Slimey was still carrying my podium, and you could barely hear him giggling at our slightly ridiculous conversation. He was almost completely squished, holding the podium above his body and slowly slithering it around. If you didn’t know any better, it looked like the podium was moving by itself, as if it had feet, because you could barely see that Slimey was under it.

The dog guard was confused when he heard Slimey’s giggles, and asked, “Well, what’s so funny? Did someone make a joke? I love a good joke!” He knew he heard someone laughing, but he didn’t know who.

[Narrator] No, Mr. Dog Guard, don’t worry. My friend here, carrying my podium, is just making some small noises because he is getting tired, that’s all.

“Oh, okay,” said the guard. “Would he like some assistance? I’d be happy to help?”

“NO!” yelled Slimey. Everyone was shocked that Slimey had yelled so loudly, but then he quickly and calmly added, “No thank you, sir. This is my exercise for the day.”

The guard gave my podium a funny look, probably due to Slimey’s strange outburst, and then said, “Okie dokie,” as he opened up the doors to the throne room. Behind the large doors, we could see Queen Sun Spot looking up at us from her grand sofa-throne. She appeared to have been in the middle of a nice nap. The Guard Dog lead the way into the throne room, bowed to the Queen, turned to all of us and said, “I present to you all the majestic Queen Sun Spot. May her reign never cease.”

Elegantly, Queen Sun Spot arose from her sofa. I mean, she arose from her throne. She opened up her arms and said, “Welcome to my Kingdom again, dear Prince Cheesy Moon Mouse, son of Cheesy King Mouse.” The Queen then yawned for what felt like a whole entire minute. I guess she was tired. What a stressful life these dogs must have. Geeze.

Cheese bowed to Queen Sun Spot, and then said, “Thank you very much Queen Sun Spot. Sorry to interrupt nap time as I know it is a crucial part of your culture. This won’t take very long since I was hoping that we could just take some metal from your massive reserves, and we are in a bit of a hurry.

The Queen yawned again, and she said, “Well, what do you need metal for? And why is your father on his way in another spaceship? I noticed a little while ago, in between naps, that his spaceship was showing up on my radar and headed this way. His ship shows up as a special color on my radar so that I can mentally prepare for his arrival.”

Cheese’s mouth fell open for a second in shock at the Queen’s comment. Was his father really following them? It must have been CKM’s ship that was showing up on his radar earlier, too. He quickly closed his mouth, realized that he had to think fast, and said, “Um, we need some metal to make repairs to our palace. My father is bringing a second ship so we can get as much metal as possible. He is just a bit of a slow driver which is why I beat him here.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” said the Queen. “Since it is somewhat of a long drive, bringing two ships is a good idea. And of course you can take some metal because we have too much of it, all the time.” The Queen yawned again, sat back down on her sofa, and asked, “Would you like to take a nap, though, while we wait for your father to arrive?”

“No!” yelled Cheese. This startled the Queen, and she became a little suspicious of Cheese’s strange behavior. Then, Cheese said, “Sorry to have yelled, but the repairs to the palace need to be completed as soon as possible. So, we can load up my ship with metal, and I can take off before my father even gets here. It’s really no problem.”

[Time: 4:30 PM]

Just then, the doorbell rang, “DING DONG DOGGOS!”


“Larry,” said Cheesy King Mouse demeaningly, “you have to find a parking spot before you try to park the spaceship, remember?”

[Time: 4:20 PM]

Larry was in the driver’s seat, shaking with frustration. “But your highness, I can’t find any available parking spots.”

The King was getting restless, and so he decided to be brave and leave the ship alone. He stood up, dusted off his robes, and said, “Okay, Larry. You just stay here with the ship, circling the parking lot until I return. I need to talk to the Queen right away to try to find my son, my priceless cheese, and those nasty thieving cats. If I should need backup, I’ll send you the signal.”

Larry was still shaking in anger and gripping the steering wheel too tightly. He didn’t respond to the King because he was afraid he would scream at him.

The King, however, was not satisfied without a response. “Larrry, did you hear me. Do you know what the signal is?”

Larry nodded slowly. So, the King patted him on the head, and walked out of the spaceship towards Queen Sun Spot’s castle. Larry was so relieved that he finally had some alone time. He rolled up all the windows, and spent his alone time screaming about how much he hates CKM.

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