The Mis-Adventures of Star Cat

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Chapter 13

…MEANWHILE...

“Excuse me, Miss! EXCUSE ME!” The owner of the candy store was tapping on Star Cat’s shoulder, trying to get her attention. He was all flustered due to his wasted efforts, and he firmly said, “If you don’t stop rolling around in this barrel of candy, then you’re going to have to pay for it all.”

[Time: 4:15 PM]

[Narrator] Star Cat was indeed, rolling around in a barrel of candy as if she was taking a bath. Her eyes were glazed over from the subsequent sugar rush of eating what seemed like hundreds of raisins. She was not even aware that the store owner was trying to get her to leave. So, the owner decided that the only option was to forcefully remove her since she was not cooperating. He reached into the barrel of raisins, grabbed Star Cat, and put her down, standing up, in his store. He was actually starting to get a little worried about her because she still seemed out of it even though she was managing to stand on her own. You know, too much sugar can really do some damage to your health. Some people even have sugar related conditions like diabetes, and the store owner was worried he was about to see Star Cat collapse or something. So, he was gently shaking her, trying to get her to come to, all the while thinking about how maybe he would end up in court being sued for neglect of his candy store customers...or something? Needless to say, the store owner worried too much.

[Narrator] Eventually though, Star Cat’s eyes slowly started to focus and she began to stop mumbling to herself. As you can imagine, this made the store owner start to feel a little bit better. However, he was even more worried when she shrieked a second later and jumped right back into the barrel of raisins. He threw his hands up in the air, to show that he had finally given up, and said, “Oh come on! I can’t deal with this right now. I already have two crazy puppies at home, and I haven’t been able to sleep, and...” The store owner started to walk away from the barrel that Star Cat was in when she peeked up through all of the raisins and yelled, “Wait! Don’t move! He’ll see me!”

[Time: 4:25 PM]

“Who will see you?” asked the store owner in disbelief, “There is nobody else in here but you, thankfully. The crazy episode that you’re having definitely would not be good for business, let me tell you.”

Star Cat’s eyes became really wide, and she made a gesture with her face towards the front door of the store. Then she whispered, “Do you see that mouse out there?” The store owner started to turn around to try to see who she was talking about, but she grabbed him and said, “No, don’t look at him!”

The store owner was confused by this and said, “But you asked me if I could see him.”

“Never mind,” said Star Cat, “he’s Cheesy King Mouse, and he’s after me.”

“Oh no, are you some kind of criminal?” asked the store owner.

Star Cat giggled at the thought of her being a criminal, and she said, “No, but he thinks I’m Princess Starry.”

The store owner laughed out loud at the thought of getting Star Cat confused with Princess Starry. He then went on to add, “How could he think that? You, a princess? No way. He obviously hasn’t seen how you behave in a candy store! You’re not very ‘regal’ if you want to know the truth.”

[Narrator] Star Cat really wasn’t listening all that well to the store owner because she was too preoccupied watching CKM looking in through the candy store windows. Turns out, CKM is a huge fan of candy, and he was taking his “sweet” time looking all the different types of candy. After about a minute, CKM finally walked away from the store front, and Star Cat released her ninja grip on the candy store owner. She hopped out of the barrel of candy and dusted herself off, scraping up any dignity that she may have had left. She quickly paid the store owner for her candy consumption, and she ran outside. Star Cat knew she needed to find Cheese and warn him that his father was here, but she didn’t even know where Cheese was at the moment. Was he still in the spaceship or in the castle? How long was she even inside that candy store? She kind of spaced-out there for a while since she was in her happy place and experiencing a moderate sugar rush.

All of a sudden, while Star Cat was still contemplating her current predicament, she felt a little tug on her belt. When she looked down, she saw the cutest little sun puppy. Her heart melted, and she started speaking in that voice that you use when you speak to cute little animals. “Hello sweet little sun angel,” cooed Star Cat. “Have you seen a little mouse walking around with a red-haired human and a ball of green goo recently?”

The sun puppy nodded her head, barked, and jumped up and down. She was so cute that Star Cat could barely even handle it.

Star Cat petted the sun puppy and asked, “Oh that’s great news because I am trying to find them. Could you please show me where they went? It’s kind of an urgent matter, really. You see there’s this crazy Mouse King who’s looking for us, and...”

[Narrator] Before Star Cat went on to tell the sun puppy her whole entire life story, the sun puppy barked and started running towards the castle. Star Cat was initially upset that the sun puppy was running from her, but then she realized that she should probably follow her. So, off they went, both running towards the back entrance of the castle to avoid the crazy King who was still strolling up to the front entrance of the castle.

[Narrator] CKM was trying to figure out what he was going to say Queen Sun Spot about his arrival as he walked up to her front door. He wasn’t exactly on the best terms with Queen Sun Spot, what with them being royal rivals and all, but he knew that she really liked his son, Prince Cheesy Moon Mouse. So, he hoped that she would be willing to help him find his son, and, at the same time, he was worried that she might just kick him out of her kingdom. He kept thinking to himself that the cheese thieves (Jon and Chris) were headed this way (the CPS signal was lost, but it was heading towards the Sun), and since they were looking for Princess Starry (Star Cat) who, by the way, must have kindapped Prince Cheesy Moon Mouse, then he had to be in the right place. So, he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell with the confidence of a King.

“DING DONG DOGGOS!”

[Time: 4:30 PM]

...MEANWHILE...

“Chris, we’re going too fast!” yelled Jon.

Chris rolled his eyes and went even faster, “We have to get to Star Cat before the crazy King gets her!”

Jon was holding onto the hoverboard for dear life. He yelled, “But we’re going to crash!”

Chris was ignoring Jon, as usual, and was acting impulsively. He didn’t think this was bad, though, because being impulsive won him several first-place medals in the Annual Hoverboard Race. The boys were coming in hot, and, as Jon mentioned, they were going to crash. They weren’t going to crash in just any old location though. Impressively, they were headed right for the roof of Queen Sun Spot’s castle.

“Chris!” yelled Jon desperately, “Slow down!” The boys were going so fast that they were starting to catch on fire, like a shooting star. Well, really, I guess it would be like two shooting stars riding on a hoverboard, since they are star cats. Haha!

[Time: 4:30 PM]

...MEANWHILE...

Star Cat was trying to keep up with the sun puppy when she noticed a shooting star. “Oh wow,” she said as she stopped in her tracks. “Look puppy, a shooting star!”

[Narrator] The puppy turned around for a second to look, and then she barked and quickly ran inside the castle. Star Cat thought this was strange, as most people enjoy watching shooting stars, but, when she turned back to look at the star again, she instantly realized why the puppy ran away. It looked like the shooting star was headed straight for them! Ah! Star Cat ran inside the castle faster than she’s ever ran before! She ran so fast that she, too, looked like a shooting star!

...MEANWHILE...

[Time: 4:30 PM]

[Narrator] Cheese was so surprised by the doorbell that he jumped up in the air and landed in my arms. You could tell he was slightly embarrassed by this because he immediately stood up, dusted himself off, and stepped away from me, the Narrator. You’re welcome, Cheese.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to, Narrator.” He replied while avoiding eye contact.

Queen Sun Spot started reaching for her intercom button to answer the doorbell when a huge, “BOOM!” was heard, the castle shook slightly, and a few tiny crumbs of plaster fell down from the ceiling in the throne room. “What on the Sun is going on here?” asked Queen Sun Spot. She was in a bit of a panic. She was starting to think the worst, and she said, “My kingdom has never been jeopardized like this before.” She paused for a second, and then her eyes narrowed as she looked over at Cheese and said, “Prince Cheesy Moon Mouse, did you and your father plan on attacking me today?”

Cheese’s complexion went from gray to white after hearing the Queen’s accusation. “No, Queen Sun Spot, I would never do that. You know my father can be a little crazy sometimes, but I am really only here to pick up some metal.” Cheese’s heart and mind were racing with fear. He didn’t like the dungeons in the dogs’ castle. He had been forced to stay there once before because of his father, and he swore he would never have to go back.

“Well then, Prince,” said Queen Sun Spot as she sat back down, “you won’t mind if my guards check you and your friends for anything suspicious, would you?” Several guard dogs swarmed Cheese and me, frisking and sniffing us for anything suspicious. After a few seconds of this, Queen Sun Spot said, “Well guards, did you find anything?”

One guard said, “The mouse smells like cheese and fear, and the lady smells like pretty flowers.”

I immediately blushed and smiled at the guard dog for noticing my perfume. Sometimes a lady has to do what she can to make sure she smells good. Anyways, that being said, the Queen added, “Well, I thought you said you were here with your ‘friends’ Cheesy Moon Mouse. Is that right?”

Cheese was starting to sweat with anxiety, but he replied, “Yes ma’am that is correct. I am here with her, the Narrator, him, Slimey, and a star cat named Star Cat, but she’s preoccupied in the candy store right now.” Cheese was pointing at me with one hand and at the podium with the other hand to show the dogs that Slimey was standing under the podium.

The dogs all started to growl for some reason, and the Queen said, “Don’t lie to me Cheesy Moon Mouse. There are only two of you here right now: you and the lady. Well, along with her podium. Now, let me ask you again...”

“Wait your highness!” yelled the guard dog who walked us into the castle. “There really was someone else with them when they came into the castle. He was carrying the nice lady’s podium for her. I couldn’t see him very well, but I could smell and hear him talking under there. So, maybe he is still here somewhere?”

Cheese reached over and lifted up the podium, only to find that nobody was holding it up. It was just sitting on the ground all by itself. He opened up the little door to see if Slimey was hiding inside on one of the shelves, but he wasn’t in there either. “Oh, come on!” yelled Cheese in exasperation. “He was with us earlier. Where in the universe could he be?”

“What did you say his name was again?” asked the Queen.

Cheese was still looking around for Slimey while he said, “Well, we gave him the nickname, Slimey, because we couldn’t pronounce his actual name.”

Hearing that, Queen Sun Spot sat straight up on her sofa. She started to turn pale, and she said slowly, “Let me guess. Is he green and gelatinous with one eye?”

Cheese swallowed hard with fear, “gulp,” and tried to say calmly, “Yes, do you know him?”

Without answering Cheese’s questions, Queen Sun Spot said, “This is bad! We must find him immediately before he tries to steal the Royal Sun Stones again.” The Queen sat back down, reached over the side of the sofa, and hit a big red button on the wall behind her. Alarms started flashing and ringing, and all the doors and windows automatically slammed shut.

[Time: 4:45 PM]

Then she walked over to the side of the room to where a huge treasure chest was sitting, and she reached into her robe pockets. She seemed to be looking for something in her pockets, and after a few seconds she screamed, “WHERE IS IT!” with panic in her voice. She looked back at Cheese and asked, “That ball of slime must have taken my key! How did he escape?”

The guard dog who walked us inside the castle lifted up the podium again and pointed to a drain that was underneath it. “Maybe he went through here?”

...MEANWHILE...

[Time: 4:31 PM]

[Narrator] So, you know the shooting star that made the big, “BOOM!” when it hit the castle, right after CKM rang the doorbell, causing Cheese to jump into my arms? Turns out it was Chris and Jon. Yeah, Jon was right; Chris wasn’t able to stop the hoverboard in time, and they did crash. But don’t worry, they were miraculously unharmed. They crashed right into the roof of the castle, and they were understandably a bit shook-up. “Jon!” yelled Chris as he slowly sat up, “Jon, you alright, bro?”

Jon was seeing stars. Actually, they both were seeing stars. Or, I guess you could say they were seeing themselves since they are stars! HAHA! Anyways, Jon replied, “Yeah, I’ll live.” He sat up and tried to look around. “Where are we, Chris?”

“Well, we were headed for the castle, so maybe we’re somewhere around there?”

A strange and yet familiar voice came out of nowhere and said, “Actually, we are on the roof of the castle.”

[Narrator] Both of the boys leaped up in fear, their fur became all puffed-up, and their tails shot straight out. Instinctually, the star cats began hissing as well. They were trying to be ferocious, you know, in self-defense, but they are just too adorable. I guess you can tell that I really love cats.

“Geeze, calm down guys. It’s me, Slimey. I saved your lives, you know. You should be thanking me.” Turns out the boys hadn’t realized just yet, but they were covered in green goo, yet again.

Jon made a yucky face, stuck out his tongue, and said, “YICK!” while trying to wipe the goo off his fur. Meanwhile, Chris had given up on being clean years ago, and he happily rubbed the goo in. He thought to himself, “You know, this makes a good, moisturizing hair gel.”

“Thanks for saving us,” said Jon, “but how are you even here right now, Slimey? I watched you fly off on Chris’s hoverboard in the opposite direction to go look for Star Cat’s helmet that’s covered in the King’s priceless cheese.”

Slimey sighed, rolled his eye, and said, “Yeah I know it is somewhat complicated. Put simply, there are two of me at the moment. There could be more of me in the future if I get split up again. So, yes, you did see my fly off towards Star Cat’s helmet, and I’m still doing that. But I’m also here too. Does that make sense?”

Both of the boys said, “Nope,” at the same time.

Slimey took a deep breath and tried to explain everything again, “Okay, remember how I possessed you both and showed you that Star Cat was on a spaceship earlier? Remember? When we first met on the asteroid?”

Both of the boys said, “Yep,” at the same time.

“Good,” said Slimey, “stay with me. The only reason you could see Star Cat was because my other half was looking at Star Cat. So, the half of me that was on the asteroid and possessing you is still on its way to get the cheese. Right now, you are talking to that other half who was sitting on the spaceship and listening to Star Cat before.”

Both of the boys’ eyes lit up with understanding, and they both said, “OH!” at the same time. You could see that they understood everything now, well almost everything.

Jon nodded his head and went on to say, “Okay, that’s all well and good, but why are you on the roof of the castle? Is Star Cat up here too?”

“No, she’s probably still in the candy store,” said Slimey. “I came up here to save you guys!”

“Well, I hardly think we needed saving,” said Chris. “I had it all under control.”

Jon and Slimey glared at Chris for a moment, as he was obviously still in denial about his reckless driving. Slimey sighed again and said, “Chris, there are a couple of rules for safe driving. Number one, wear a seatbelt; number two, don’t drive too fast or too slow; and number three, don’t drive while distracted. Do you think, maybe, that you were breaking any of those three rules?”

Before Chris could answer, Jon yelled, “Number 2!”

Chris frowned, looked at Jon and said, “I’m sorry. I was driving too fast.”

“You should be sorry!” said Jon, “We could have been killed. Thankfully, Slimey was here to save us.”

“Yeah, thanks Slimey,” said Chris. “How did you know we needed saving, anyways?”

“Oh well, since you guys still have some of my slime on your skin from our first encounter, I can see what you see. Like I said, I work like a seeie-hearie. It’s pretty straight forward, right?”

The boys were confused again, but they decided it wasn’t important. Jon couldn’t help but ask another question, though. He’s quite the curious kitty, and so he asked, “Wait, does that mean you could see what we were doing the whole time? Will you be spying on me for the rest of my life?”

Before Jon had an existential crisis, Slimey quickly reassured him by saying, “Yes, I could see you guys, but you can wash me off in the shower. Just jump in a shower, use some nice hot water and soap, and all my slime comes right off. Then, I can’t spy on you anymore.”

This was probably the worst news ever for Chris and Jon. Slimey just suggested that cats should take a shower. Was he serious? Cats don’t like getting wet. Everyone knows that! The boys were more mortified by the idea of taking a shower than by the idea of some strange alien spying on them for the rest of their lives. “Oh,” said Jon, “well I guess Slimey knowing what we’re always up to really isn’t that bad. I mean, it helped us out in this case. Otherwise, Slimey would have never known we needed to be saved by Chris’s reckless driving.”

Chris didn’t say anything because he was coping with the memory of being forced to shower as a young kitten. He just softly whispered to himself, “Never again,” while nervously rubbing his paws together and shaking his head.

Slimey was a little freaked out by Chris’s strange behavior, and so he decided to change the subject. “Okay boys,” he said, “let’s get you down from this roof.”

[Time: 4:45 PM]

Just then alarms started sounding and all the windows and chimneys on the roof were automatically shut. Slimey said, “Uh oh,” and turned to look back at the boys, “that’s not good.” Nobody said anything else. They were kind of scared. Were they in trouble? While all these thoughts were running through their heads, they heard an angry voice coming from what seemed like the front door of the castle.

“Let me inside you fools!” screamed Cheesy King Mouse. “How dare you close down your doors when a King rings your bell.” He was so mad he was kicking and hitting the door. It was quite amusing to watch actually. Slimey, Chris, and Jon were all looking over the edge of the roof where they saw The King, just below, throwing a tantrum like a child in a toy store.

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