The Mis-Adventures of Star Cat

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Chapter 7

[Time: 11:10 AM]

“Are we there yet?”

“No, Star Cat,” sighed Cheese, “we’re still not there yet.”

“Well, I want to pick out an asteroid already! Come on, come on, come on!”

“You whining about it isn’t going to make us go any faster!” yelled Cheese, clenching his teeth. “We’ll get there when we get there. Don’t make me turn this hover craft around, young lady.”

Pouting a little, Star Cat crossed her arms and said, “Fine.”

[Narrator] See Star Cat, a little patience goes a long way!

Star Cat looked at me, stuck out her tongue, and said, “Yeah, yeah, whatever!”

“We’ve only been flying for a little while” said Cheese, “and, if you’re having trouble handling a little bit of down-time in the hover craft, I don’t see how you’re going to be able to make it all the way to the sun with the Narrator and me.”

“I’ll stop whining I promise,” said Star Cat. “Just please don’t leave me all by myself on an asteroid!”

“Alright,” said Cheese, “but only if you keep your promise.”

Star Cat smiled while thinking about the perfect asteroid that she was going to choose. She said, “I love picking things out and going shopping! I bet looking for an asteroid will be fun.”

“Well we’re going to need a pretty large asteroid that won’t fall out of orbit when we build the club house. Though, it can’t be too large because then we’ll be constantly bombarded by other little asteroids. Just in case, I installed a laser on this hover craft so we can destroy any pesky little asteroids cluttering up the asteroid belt.

Hearing the word ‘laser,’ Star Cat started jumping up and down with excitement and yelled, “I WANNA ZAP SOME ROCKS! PLEASE LET ME ZAP SOME ROCKS!”

Cheese grinned and laughed a little because he never thought in his wildest dreams that Star Cat would want to shoot anything. “Okay, you can zap some rocks,” he said, “but you need to be very careful. We’re almost to the asteroid belt, and, when we get there, I’ll let you know which ones you can shoot.”

[Narrator] Star Cat was so excited that all she could do was nod her head, smile, and continue jumping up and down. We waited in anticipation; asteroids started appearing here and there, and then the entire asteroid belt came into view. A little bit later, we started to become surrounded by asteroids, and Star Cat was still jumping up and down. I can’t believe she stayed jumping like that for almost the entire ride. She must either be in great shape, or maybe she’s gone crazy! Either way, that’s pretty impressive, Star Cat.

“Thanks!” she said between jumps, “Can I zap yet? Can I?”

“Oh alright,” said Cheese moving out of his captain’s chair, “just come and sit over here, and-”

[Narrator] But before he could finish telling Star Cat how to use the laser, she zoomed into his seat and started zapping everything. Her eyes glowed with a fiery rage that I have never seen before, and she laughed crazily as she destroyed asteroid after asteroid. Struggling to stop her, Cheese and I finally managed to pull her out of the seat and away from the laser controls. Star Cat what were you thinking? You can’t just go shooting everything like that!

Star Cat looked at me and screamed, “ZAP, ZAP, ZAPPY, ZAP!”

[Narrator] You could have destroyed the entire asteroid belt. And what if you zapped all the good asteroids for building our clubhouse on, huh?”

Star Cat’s ears drew back, she slowly stopped bouncing, and said, “Oh…sorry I guess.”

“Don’t yell at her just yet Narrator,” said Cheese very calmly, “she seems to only have destroyed a few of the outer asteroids which should not cause too much of a shift in the belt’s integrity.” Continuing to scribble something down on a sticky note, Cheese went on to say, “According to my calculations, it may move by just a paw or two! With that being said, though, Star Cat, you’re not allowed to use the laser anymore.”

Star Cat pulled on her ears and screamed, “NOOOOOOOOO!”

[Narrator] Well good! Now, can we please pick out an asteroid for our clubhouse? Star Cat and Cheese agreed that it was time to look for some prime real-estate. So, we flew into the middle of the asteroid belt, dodging any and all oncoming asteroids with precision. Cheese, you know that you are a great pilot, right?

With a smile on his face Cheese said, “Thanks Narrator. I do what I can. That’s all I can do.”

[Narrator] After looking around for a while, we all decided on a beautiful asteroid with a nice flat yard that was in the middle of what seemed like a nice neighborhood. After Cheese landed the hovercraft on our asteroid, we all jumped out to take a look around and stretch our legs from the long drive.

“The view here is amazing!” said Star Cat.

“We don’t have many neighbors who will spy on us either. My father will never find us here!” said Cheese jumping for joy.

[Narrator] Let’s all have a celebratory group hug! While we all stood there hugging and looking out into the universe, a shooting star launched itself across the fabric of time. It was the most beautiful shooting star ever, and, wait a minute. Is it turning towards us? It looks like it’s headed right for us!

We all stopped hugging and Cheese yelled, “Back to the hover craft, now!”

Star Cat was the most agile of us all, so she was the first one back to the ship. She didn’t have the keys though, and she was locked out. So, she screamed in terror, “HURRY UP! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!”

[Narrator] I’m trying to run as fast as I can! My podium is so heavy that I can’t run any-

[Shooting Star] “BOOM! CRASH! QUAKE!”

[Narrator] The shooting star came zooming into the asteroid with a blinding hot force that shook through our bodies. The impact was so strong that it caused us all to go flying through the air. That’s the last thing I remember, flying through the air. Then everything went black. It’s still all black. Am I dead? Did I die? Oh no, I think I’m dead! Ah!

Poking me in the shoulder, Star Cat yelled, “You’re not dead, Narrator! You just flew a couple of paws in the air when the shooting star wrecked into our asteroid, and you were unconscious for a moment.”

“Yes,” said Cheese sitting up next to me, “we both flew a little way. Are you alright?”

[Narrator] Now that I know I’m not dead, I feel perfectly fine. Just a little dizzy from the fall I suppose.

“Narrator, don’t panic,” said Cheese while looking at my hair, “but you seem to have some goop on the top of your head. Perhaps it’s residue from the asteroid.”

Reaching out and sticking her paw in my hair, Star Cat scooped up some goo, sniffed and licked it, pursed her lips and said, “It tastes like hair gel.”

Making a disgusted face at Star Cat and swatting her paw away from her mouth, Cheese yelled, “Ew! Don’t eat that! You have no idea what that stuff is!”

“Actually,” Star Cat said, scooping up more goo from the ground and running her paws through her fur, “I’m pretty sure it can style and keep my fur looking fabulous for hours.”

[Narrator] I started freaking out because I didn’t want any alien goop seeping into my brain. I jumped up and violently shook all the goo out of my hair. Ah! Ah! Ah! GET IT OUT! Globs of green goop flung out of my hair and landed all around. Some of it even landed on Cheese and Star Cat.

Cheese lifted up his arm to get a closer look at the glob of goo that landed on him and said, “I would love to find out what this stuff is! We should perform a scientific analysis of its organic components.”

“I’m way ahead of you,” said Star Cat while scooping the goo into a mason jar, “and the stuff you don’t analyze, I’m keeping as hair gel!”

“Where did you get that enormous mason jar?” asked Cheese.

Star Cat was very confused by his question and asked, “What do you mean, where did I get this jar? I thought everyone carried around an extra jar just in case they needed to scoop up something.”

[Narrator] What? Star Cat, your logic never ceases to amaze me.

“Thank you!” Star Cat said, not noticing the sarcasm in my voice, as she continued to scoop up all the goo.

“Oh man, it looks like there’s goo all over this asteroid,” said Cheese. “I think we’re going to have to search for another one to build our clubhouse on because we’ll never get all of this cleaned up.”

“Do shooting stars normally explode on impact like that?” asked Star Cat.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been that close to one before, but I don’t think so,” said Cheese as he pointed to the shooting star remnants. “This one barely even made a dent in the surface of the asteroid. Usually a huge crater forms when a shooting star crashes, but all it did was split in half and leak green goo! I never imagined a shooting star being hollow and filled with green stuff, but maybe it’s from another galaxy. Who knows?”

[Narrator] I know that I have no idea about what’s up with the messy shooting star, but I do know that I’m going in the hover craft and taking a shower. Yep. I’m getting all this stuff off me right away!

As I turned and started walking towards the hover craft, Cheese and Star Cat followed. Star Cat was having a little trouble keeping up because her mason jar was heavy with green goo hair gel. She even had to set the jar down and stop at one point to take a break, “Few!” she said wiping her brow, “This stuff better be worth all this trouble.”

When we were all back inside the hover craft, Cheese started the engines and we flew off again in search of a new, clean asteroid for our club house. Star Cat’s mason jar of hair gel was taking up so much room in the cock pit that Cheese asked her to move it to the storage room, “Would you mind moving that ridiculous jar of goop out of here please? It’s taking up so much space that I can’t even think.”

“Well, I think it makes for a beautiful decoration. It gives the cock pit a bit of character, you know?” said Star Cat lovingly rubbing her mason jar.

“If you don’t move it to the storage room, then I’ll move it into outer space.” said Cheese.

“Okay, okay, okay. Geez! Someone’s a little claustrophobic, isn’t he?”

Cheese just rolled his eyes and yelled, “Thank you!” as Star Cat pushed the mason jar towards the storage room and out of the way.

[Narrator] Star Cat’s mason jar was so big that, when she moved it over to the storage room, it wouldn’t fit through the door. She tried pushing it and leaning on it with all her might, but she still couldn’t get it through the doorway. So, she thought that maybe, if she held it at an angle, it might fit. That idea really made no sense, though, since a mason jar is the same size any way you look at it. Sometimes, Star Cat isn’t the brightest star, if you know what I mean. She tried leaning the top of the jar through the doorway, but it was too heavy for her. It slipped right out of her paws, shattered on the ground, and all the goo flooded the storage room. She quickly pushed all the glass into the room and shut the door tightly so that no ‘hair gel’ would seep out. Until she could find another mason jar, the storage room would have to hold her hair gel. Hopefully Cheese would not notice the mess.

“What was that loud noise I heard?” asked Cheese when he saw Star Cat walking back into the cock pit. “It sounded like breaking glass.”

Star Cat acted like she had no idea what he was talking about. She shrugged her shoulders and nervously asked, “You heard a loud noise? That’s funny. I didn’t hear a loud noise. I wonder what other things you’ve been hearing. I mean, if you hear loud noises it wouldn’t be ridiculous to think that you may even hear loud voices. I should have nicknamed you Crazy Cheese. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Cheese looked at her suspiciously but decided to let it go. He said, “Okay. Whatever.” A few seconds later, a flashing red light popped-up on the dashboard. Cheese was very alarmed, and he looked back at Star Cat and asked, “What did you do?”

Pretending to be innocent, Star Cat yelled, “I didn’t do anything, I swear!”

Cheese jumped out of his chair and screamed, “Well, according to the hover craft, there’s an intruder in the storage room; an alien intruder!”

[Time: 11:35 AM]

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