Welcome to 2002
Logan Dara, Dicky Michaelson, and Andrea Élan were lucky to survive the year 2001. They had prevented an unnecessary attack on the city of New York on September 11, 2001. Due to that attempted attack, the United States (and the rest of the world) now saw what evil truly looked like.
Evil existed in the form of a man named Osama bin Laden. His decision to attack America was an unpopular one, as it made Muslims look bad in front of the world. (When he found out that the Three Cousins had managed to prevent 9/11 from happening, as well as having the men who were to carry out the attacks arrested, let’s say he was very angry about that.)
Shortly after the attempted attack on New York, the United States decided to strike back before another attack occurred. The “War Against Terror” was currently being fought in a country called Afghanistan. A repressionist government known as the Taliban was blamed for supporting the efforts of the notorious terrorist group Al-Qaida. Al-Qaida was blamed for the attempted attack on New York. The group’s leader, Osama bin Laden, blamed the three cousins for blocking his plan to blow up the Twin Towers and exposing him and his terror organization to the world. In fact, he is currently looking for a way to retaliate against the cousins.
“Well, can’t say the dude didn’t have it coming,” Logan said as they sat at a table at The Sesame Express reading the newspaper. The main headline detailed the terror mastermind’s anger at not being able to cause trouble in America. In fact, the man in question had called for the deaths of the cousins responsible for exposing him to the world. Yet many more people called for his capture and death for causing nothing but trouble for the already unhappy world. “I hope that one day, he will get exactly what he deserves.”
“And when that day comes, we’re going to serve him a great big bowl of I-Told-You-So,” said Andrea.
“Which is a shame because it’s going to be ironic,” said Logan. “The cousins he wanted to get rid of just handed him his own ass on a silver platter.”
“I can’t wait to see that happen,” said Andrea.
“He’s a complete idiot if he thought he could get away with attacking our country,” said Dicky. “We already put our would-be murderers away in jail for good, and I hope we can extend the same courtesy to Mr. bin Laden when the time comes.”
“I don’t know, Dicky,” said Logan. “Knowing him and who he is and what he’s capable of, he won’t go down without a fight.”
“Well, he’s asking for it, and I won’t hesitate to smack him in the head with a rolling pin for all the good he thinks he is,” said Andrea. “No one is going to mess with me, not while I still have the ability to fight.”
“Indeed,” said Dicky. “And not only did we prevent the September 11 attacks from happening, we’ve also given this country a new sense of patriotism and pride. People are showing more kindness to each other, which is a good thing.”
“We can count that as a small victory against the evils of terrorism,” said Logan. “We’re alive and well and our families are together. My wife recently tracked down her father and reunited with him over the holidays. Even our children are happy. I don’t see what can possibly go wrong.”
“Everything,” said Andrea.
“Everything?” said Dicky. “You mean that everything can go wrong in an instant?”
“Yes,” said Logan. “Not only are we dealing with Mr. bin Laden and his calls for our deaths, we’re also facing the wrath of those who love the Harry Potter books. They’re not happy to know that we caused the movie to flop in theaters. They’re angrier with me because my video exposed the witchcraft in Harry Potter. Plus, I made another video claiming that Harry Potter probably ripped off “The Lord of the Rings”. So, I’ve made some bitter enemies here.”
“That’s just as bad as your wife and her two friends questioning Disney-made movies,” said Dicky. “They’re claiming those movies are nothing but trouble.”
“But Disney movies are nothing but trouble, which is why my girls are no longer allowed to watch Disney movies,” said Andrea. “Besides, the quality of those movies has been declining since “The Lion King” was released in theaters in 1994.”
“And what are we going to do about Deirdre and her friends?” said Dicky. “They’re about to find themselves in a world of trouble the minute this controversy is noticed by the public. Should we stop them or protect them?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we find it,” said Logan. “But for now, let’s be thankful that God allowed us to live to see another year.”
They all agreed, knowing that this was now the year 2002; with it came many new challenges. Logan knew that he had to continue the fight against the Harry Potter fandom as well as continue to make movies that changed the entertainment world. Dicky knew he had to restart his life and raise his children. Andrea, however, would have to continue to fight for the rights for disabled people everywhere and to make sure her would-be murderer was sent to jail for the rest of his life.
Plus, all three cousins must contend with a country that didn’t expect them to live, let alone prevent the September 11, 2001 attacks from happening. Many American citizens weren’t happy that the cousins survived September 11 and put an end to the Harry Potter phenomenon. Those people also weren’t happy to know that Andrea had thwarted a plot to kill her and had her would-be killer sent to jail.
Plus, some Harry Potter fans were quietly plotting to kill Logan in retaliation for the destruction of Harry Potter. (Well, they might not actually kill him, per se, but they’re mad at him for destroying Harry Potter-mania before it could unleash itself upon the world.)
Before we go any further with the story, here’s what happened to the cousins when 2001 came to an end:
“Are you sure this was a good idea?” Logan snapped as he, Dicky, and Andrea were sitting in the theaters watching “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring”. (It was mentioned that the Cousins had finally agreed to watch the movie after Sean spent nearly four hours persuading them. Plus, the movie’s rave reviews soon put an end to any hope that “Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone” would be a bestselling movie.)
“Of course this is a good idea,” said Andrea. “Did you really think that that Harry Potter movie was going to succeed, especially after all the hard work we had put in to stop it from being the #1 movie for the Thanksgiving holiday weekend?”
“Uh, no?” said Dicky.
“Exactly,” said Andrea. “I’m so tired of hearing about how angry the people at Warner Bros studios are that the harry potter movie flopped.”
“Yeah,” said Logan. “So, what’s the deal with Roger?”
“I have no idea,” said Andrea. “I thought Sean was going to bring him to California, but he hasn’t delivered on that promise since Halloween. I mean, what is going on here?”
“I hate to break it to you, Drea, but I don’t think there’s much of a chance that you’ll be seeing Roger anytime soon,” Sean said as he sat next to the group. “Roger has been arrested.”
“What do you mean Roger got arrested?” Andrea snapped. “Sean, you said you’d have him here before Christmas. It’s Christmas now, so why is he not here?”
“Because his entire family is being investigated because you went missing when you, Logan, and Dicky left Dicky’s apartment a few hours before September 11, 2001,” said Sean. “Anastasia and Consuelo’s paternity is being called into question, as there are rumors that Roger isn’t their father.”
“What are you saying,” Dicky growled. “Are you suggesting that Roger cheated on Andrea and had kids that aren’t hers?”
“Don’t kill me; I’m only telling the truth,” said Sean. “Besides, do I look like I’m lying to you?”
“I bet that you’ve never told a single lie in your life,” said Andrea. “No wonder politicians hate you.”
“And yet, President Bush invited me to the annual White House correspondent’s dinner,” said Sean. “So what do you have to say to that?”
“Touché,” said Dicky.
“Anyway, I bet you’re wondering why we’re meeting in the middle of a movie,” said Sean. “Roger being arrested was one of those reasons.”
“And what about that miserable asshole?” said Logan. “What’s going to happen to him?”
“Use your imagination, Logan,” said Andrea.
“Indeed,” said Sean. “But the main problem is that people with disabilities are being killed in New York and other major cities. The police are at a loss in how these tragedies are happening, but rumor has it that people dressed in dark clothes are seen luring disabled people away from their homes. The bodies of those unfortunate people were found in an area near the Twin Towers.”
“But that’s not right!” said Dicky. “How are disabled people being murdered when two disabled people helped stop what would have been one of the worst attacks on American soil?”
“Because despite our good deeds, most people don’t know or care that disabled people exist,” said Andrea. “And because people don’t know or care about disabled people, they think they can take advantage of us or outright kill us. I hate that we can help every Black Person oppressed by White Society, but we can’t do shit for disabled people. It’s like we’re no better than how society was when it was fashionable to throw disabled in a mental hospital and forget that they existed?”
“Well, I don’t know about that, but we still need to deal wit the Élan family,” said Sean. “Roger is already in trouble for not being a good husband and father and choosing his family over you, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t retaliate against him.”
“I don’t want to retaliate against him,” said Andrea.
“Retaliation is bad and people who retaliate against others are bad people,” said Dicky. “I should know, because I learned that lesson the hard way when I destroyed a man who the other kids said had been abusing little girls.”
“I remember that,” said Andrea. “Archie Wallace had been accused of child abuse in the 1990s, but only because one of the girls who was among the accusers was Black. But he abused all the BOYS there, which no one bothered to care about. Dicky was one of the victims, and his father and Seamus pulled BOTH of us out of the foster home and forced the headmistress to fire Archie.”
“Yeah, I remember when that happened,” said Sean. “Such a shame that no one cared about those disabled kids until it was too late. But anyway, Jonathon is angry with you guys for getting all the attention for stopping the 9/11 attacks and not caring about what happens to disabled people...”
“Screw that entitled dickface!” Logan hissed. “The ONLY reason why he’s even in the picture was because we agreed to arrange that meeting between the Elymnorean council and the UN. But that’s not going to happen right now because of the terror attacks and the homicides that are happening all over the country. We may be safe in LA now, but how long until those so-called killers make their way here? As far as I knew, some of the guys you worked with have fallen victim to those killers.”
“You’re right, cousin,” said Sean. “We really need to stick together because in this world, you’re only as good as how well you pretend to be normal. And I can’t do the whole “being disabled” thing, and being proud of being disabled is just flat-out stupid.”
“You’re right, Sean,” said Dicky. “I already have some serious beef with the mayor there for his demands that the people there show us “Normies” that they’re so much better than them, which is giving me some serious Harry Potter vibes.”
“And that’s why I decided that we weren’t going to Elymnore when we left Dicky’s apartment,” said Andrea. “I mean it. There’s no way in this hell that I’m going to a place that’s so pretentious and bigoted that I would vomit if I saw a person there boasting about who they have it so much better than “those evil Normals”. I would rather die than live like that.”
“And you don’t have to, as the city of Goldholde is surprisingly welcoming,” said Sean. “They’re twice as liberal as Oakmoor and they don’t care that you guys stopped the 9/11 attacks.”
“Thank goodness!” Andrea sighed as the movie continued. A few minutes later, the groans of the audience broke through what would have been Dicky’s response to Sean’s comment.
“Really?” Dicky snapped. “They just HAD to put Sean Bean in the movie, didn’t they?”
“That guy is like a walking death meme,” said Andrea. “It’s getting quite annoying.”
“Yeah, and that too,” said Logan.
After the clock stuck midnight on December 31, 2001 and the world transitioned to January 1, 2002, Logan said, “Well, looks like it’s a brand-new year.”
“I hope so,” said Andrea. “And it’s not because we’re still alive. It’s because we decided to take a proactive role in the world instead of just sitting on the sidelines like everyone expects us to.”
Like when we stopped the 9/11 attacks and prevented Harry Potter from being a megahit,” said Dicky. “Nobody saw that coming, didn’t they?”
“Yeah,” said Logan. “Now that that’s done, we must deal with the repercussions of what we’ve done.”
But they had no idea that what they had done caused more harm than any actual good.
Deirdre’s movie “Frostfall” won critical acclaim and became popular among children ages 9-16, but “Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone” was a huge flop in theaters and was soon forgotten by the general public. Many disappointed fans of Harry Potter gave up on the series, but some people refused to let the boy wizard die. They blamed Logan’s video that denounced Harry Potter, claiming that Logan was the reason the Harry Potter movie flopped in theaters. They were also angry that “Frostfall” succeeded when “Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone” failed.
You could imagine the amount of death threats Logan received due to his “Father Diego Condemns Harry Potter” video.
But that’s for another story.
“Well, I guess this sucks,” said Dicky as the Cousins watched a news report that lamented the end of the Harry Potter phenomenon. “And I was about to give it another chance too.”
“Sometimes in life, we don’t give out second chances,” said Andrea. “Not after what we’ve been though with trying to promote Frostfall. But “The Sunless Palace” somehow became the biggest film of the season, and because of that, well, we can all rest easy, knowing that Harry Potter was a huge flop and people are now wanting to read “The Sunless Palace” rather than “Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone”. And that’s a good thing.”
“Well, Sammy Morgan has our eternal thanks,” said Logan. “It was because of us that she’s now the biggest writer in the world. And she didn’t have to use any unsavory tactics just to get to where she is now.”
Andrea nodded, saying, “And when people realize that it takes more than luck and talent to make a good story, they’ll be dropping Harry Potter like a bad seed and start reading something that’s a bit better.”
“You think?” said Logan. “Plus, I can’t help but wonder whatever happened to that guy who made fun of us a few years ago.”
“Yeah,” said Dicky. “Whatever happened to him?”
Little did Logan, Dicky, and Andrea know that the man who had heckled them for surviving the 9/11 attacks was seen in a MySpace video, claiming that the Cousins never should have prevented 9/11 from happening in the first place. (Of course he was arrested for saying that the 9/11 attacks should have happened, as his claims offended many policemen, firefighters, and Muslims alike. Nobody likes a hatemonger.)
Safe to say, though, no matter how bad things were going to be, Logan, Dicky, and Andrea would meet every challenge thrown at them head-on. (And if that means they had to face bin Laden personally, so be it.)