Director’s Origins

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Once the three-week suspension was up, things went right back to the way they were before. Conner was back to training, a lot harder to make up for the lost time. There were nights he stayed while Baker sent the others off to bed. Keeping Conner behind to work extra hard and get the techniques down correctly.

Other than that everything was the same as before. Damian informed Conner that the penalty for going against your own was, in fact, six weeks suspension. Jones cut it in half simply because it was Conner. She just had to give /him/ the special treatment and it drove Conner insane.

He learned what it was like to be a team player from being in high school football, and knew if he screwed up he would have to deal with the consequences of his actions. If he were to bulldoze through the other players and knock them down, then he would be off the team for that week. If he were to do the same thing there in the CIA, he would get praised for it.

All of it continued to get on his very last nerve but there was little he could do about it. In the CIA, Conner wasn't a part of any team, he was the alternate, the secret force, the one they hold off until just the right moment. Not any team member and the other agents hated him for it.

He wasn't anything to them but some annoying kid that was treated better than them. So they went after him, picked on him, taunted him, and talked down to him as if he were nothing at all.

Things were back to the way they were and there didn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel.

After a long morning of training, the agents went on a break. Conner still stayed behind as Baker instructed him to. He was going to help him perfect a move he kept messing up on. He told him to stand the position and wait for further instructions.

Conner did so but before he could do anything else Baker held up his hand to the kid to halt. Getting a call from Jones, Baker stepped aside and took it. Conner watched as he spoke for a bit, he was seeming worried. That was something no one ever saw from Baker. He was as hard as they came and angry. But, this time his voice was worrisome as if he were scared.

Conner could read people fairly well and this made him a little worried as well. Whatever it was, it was something big and serious.
Another moment went by before he saw Baker hang up and turn around. Calling out in a louder voice than his usual yelling voice. He could tell there were still hints of disturbance in his tone.

"McAlister! Go suit up, right away and meet back at the helicopter!"

Conner wanted to ask what was happening but it was evident it was some serious mission. So he nodded, retracted his staff, and ran off to the locker rooms. Gearing back up in his uniform and loading up his belt and holsters.

Buckling up his bullet-proof vest, he took a long deep breath before heading out to the helicopter on the roof.

Once again he was starting out a mission not at all knowing where Damian was or whether he was alright or not. Swallowing that down hard he ran up the rest of the steps and made it to the helicopter, blades already in motion about to take off.

Running over to the open doorway of the helicopter, Conner reached up and swung himself inside. The other agents were there and once again Conner chose to stand, holding onto the handle. Looking over to Baker with the rest of them.

"Alright, once again we are being attacked. This time's a lot different. These guys are armed and will do everything in their power to shoot any of ya dead! This is where ya take your weapons trainin' to use. Got it."

Baker looked right to Conner. With his big rounded eyes, it was obvious how nervous and worried he looked. He had only ever used the gun a couple of times, all shooting at just targets. He still wasn't good at handling the gun at all.

Also, his aim was still far off, all of it was making it hard for him to breathe. However, he played it off confident and nodded. Before he knew it they were up in the air again.

Once they landed, Conner didn't move from the helicopter at all. As if his boots were superglued to the floor under him. He knew how to dodge the bullets and it was something he was pretty good at, not to mention he had on his gear as well.

Regardless of the thought of bullets coming for him, scared him, as well as the idea of him being the shooter. He didn't want to shoot anyone, he just wasn't part of his nature. As mean, forceful, and angry he could become, he would never dream to go that far. That just wasn't really Conner at all, that and technically he was still just a kid. It made sense that he was scared, and he was.

Holding onto the handle as his knuckles turned white, feeling himself shake, and his chest tighten. His breathing picked up rapidly as he watched the others run right off the helicopter and he stood completely still, shaking like a leaf.


An all too familiar voice rang out in Conner's earpiece. But, this time he was still shaky.

'Listen to me, you don't have to do it. Just stay low and make sure someone is covering you. You can do this you-'

Conner's heart dropped as he got cut off. Already large eyes grew wider and he couldn't breathe.

"Hey! Damian?! Fuck."

Pushing everything aside, Conner finally jumped out of the helicopter. Doing what he was just told and running off with the others.

Right off the bat Conner was just barely dodging bullets headed right for him. Holding up his arms and using his elbow pads to block everything off. Still not even touching his holsters he continued to stay low and run when things became too serious.

He tried to fight hand to hand but soon became afraid a gun would get pulled on him. He wouldn't know what to do but freeze-up of that were to happen so he avoided it.
Only catching himself running. He never ran away, but this time he didn't care. He shut his ego up and just kept on running away from a fight. He felt it was the only way to keep himself alive, was to run away.

Whatever he could to not pull out a gun, and shoot. He stayed low and had someone else cover him. Doing the shooting as he stayed back and hid. Using his padding whenever necessary and not staying in one place for too long.

Running off, Conner found a low place and dove right for it. Hiding in a hole as he heard footsteps coming near him. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he could feel it everywhere. His chest was tensing up and his breathing shaky. Not making a single sound he tried his best not to get caught and the chance to get shot down.

He tried at his earpiece but only heard static, which made him feel even worse. After a moment of silence, Conner took another long breath and dared to push himself onto his feet.

Slowly moving out of the hiding spot, he was ready to run off again to the next. Flinching as he heard a shot being fired at him. He quickly raised up his arms and let it just barely bounce off his elbow padding. Not moving fast enough a slight backfire graze hit him. It stung so badly, he yelled out in pain involuntarily.

Dropping his arms his eyes grew wider as he saw one of them still having a gun raised right at him. Conner froze completely, staring wide-eyed like a baby deer in headlights. Heart racing and pounding like a large drum in his chest, limbs shaking rapidly. Still, Conner didn't dare to place a hand near his holsters.

He nearly jumped right out his skin as he heard someone come up from behind and tackle the shooter. The gun dropping right to the ground and going off. Yelping out Conner jumped back, yet staying where he was. Looking up and finding out it was Baker who went after the shooter.

He watched as the two went at it, watching Baker move swiftly and with force he had never seen before. The older agent had no mercy and went at it hard.

Wincing as Conner could've sworn he heard bones crack. But he couldn't tell whose they were, probably the both of them.

Baker moved forward in front and the shooter managed to hook his arm back and pin it. Using his other arm to go around Baker's neck. Gradually squeezing, to literally squeeze the life right out of him.

Choking Baker as he clawed away at the arm around his neck. Slightly opening one squinted eye he looked over to the young agent shaking in his combat boots. Gasping sharply for air he did his best to get out audible words over to him.
'McAlister..... g-grab... the... gun...'

Conner started breathing heavier now, eyes still extremely wide and full of fear. He ever so slightly shook his head, wanting to let out that he couldn't. He didn't have it in him, he just couldn't allow himself to do it.
Yet, there he was, watching Baker get choked to death, he couldn't let /that/ happen either.

He wasn't the nicest or kindest guy around, but he was someone Conner knew. Someone who taught him to be who he was that day. Someone who went right after and made sure Conner didn't get shot to death as he was still just a kid. A pain in his ass sure, but still a kid.

He didn't want to at all, it wasn't in Conner's nature to do so, but he couldn't just let this guy kill Baker and then probably Conner right after.

Hands still shaking uncontrollably Conner reached over for his holsters and grabbed one of his guns. Reaching for it he took off the safety and cocked it. Everything felt like it slowed down that very moment. He placed his finger on the trigger and aimed as good as he could.

Making sure /not/ to aim it near Baker's head at all. Pulling the trigger and feeling the force of the bullet shoot out with a loud bang.

Closing his eyes, Conner heard a body thud down onto the pavement. Having no idea who he hit he was still shaking like no tomorrow. Terrified to open his eyes, he didn't want to hit Baker at all and hoped he didn't. Yet he was too scared to see.

He didn't want to see.
He heard ringing in his ears and muffled sounds, eyes still completely shut. It wasn't until he heard another familiar voice groan and cough.


Lightly grasping, Conner shot his eyes open and blinked rapidly. Looking forward his large eyes grew again, as he saw the now lifeless body on the ground. Chocking up on his own air, he dropped the gun, then fell onto his knees. Moving his head down and staring at his hands, visibly shaking. He inhaled a deep breath before letting out a loud curdling scream. As he screamed he felt hot tears begin to stream down his face and cheeks.


He screamed out as he moved to press his hands forward on the pavement. Still shaking, Conner looked down and let the tears from his eyes drip down. His chest so tight he was having trouble breathing, feeling as if he were drowning and the more he tried to cone up or air, the harder the waves crashed onto him.

He heard talking, but it was still muffled and under the ringing from the gunshot, he couldn't make out what anyone was saying. All he could hear was footsteps that came right to him. As well as a hand rested on his shoulder, which made him flinch, but nothing more.


Damian knelt down and lightly rubbed his shoulder.

"It's alright."

Conner shook his head and sniffled, still shaking and looked to the ground. His voice wavering and breaking.

"N-no... I.. I killed.."

"You had to for Baker's life. But, you saved him, you're a good guy."

"No! I'm a monster, I'm a killer!"

Damian had a sad look to his face as he watched Conner in shambles. He did his best to stay strong for both of them. Even though he was pulling at his heartstrings and hurting him. He shook his head, his own voice ever so slightly wavering.

But, he did his best to keep it as steady as possible shaking his head. Moving to go in front of Conner, taking his hands to cup his face and lift his head up for him to look at him face to face.

"No you are not, you did what you had to. You saved a life today. You had to but still."

"I'm the killing machine! Just like she said!"

Conner yelled out as he started crying. Damian took his hands off of his face and moved to wrap his arms around Conner. Holding onto him securely and looked up and over to Baker.

Who then sighed longly and looked over as his phone buzzed. Seeing it was Christina herself he dropped the device and stomped on it. Then he reached out a hand and helped both of the boys up onto their feet. Damian moved Conner's arm around his shoulder and he kept an arm firmly around his torso.

Having his opposite hand hold onto Conner's draped around his shoulder.

"We'll take the car back to base. Kid's real shook up so you two go straight to his rooms. Have him avoid Jones I'll handle her."

Baker instructed out and Damian nodded. Then the three of them made it over to the car and got in. Damian staying in the back seat with Conner who was still shaking like a leaf. Damian still stayed calm and steady while Conner was braking. Doing his best to stay by his side and keep him in check. Knowing well what him upset results to. Even though this time was much different.

The car ride felt longer than it really was, and Conner was still shaken up leaning onto Damian as much as possible. Emotionally and literally.
As soon as they made it back to the base, Damian grabbed hold of Conner again and the two quickly went inside and over to their hallway. Doing as Baker instructed and avoiding Jones as much as they could.

As for Baker himself the moment he stepped foot into the base he heard Jones' voice call out to him to meet her in her office. Rolling his eyes some he stayed and made sure the boys made it to their hall before crossing over to the elevators.

Heading up and over to the top floor. Baker made it down the long hallway and didn't wait to knock, opening the office door and stepping on inside. Having his usual stern angered look and arms crossed. Not at all wanting to be there as he knew he went behind her back in order to hide what truly happened on the mission.

He waited as Christina came out of the backroom behind the office and went up to her desk. No surprise at all she looked pissed beyond words.

"You mind informing me what the hell just happened back there?"

She started with no hesitation at all. Annoyance on her voice to match her body language.

"Something came up and I tended to it on my own."

"Like what?"

"None of your concern, alright."

"Richard, I have to keep track on all of my agents, it is for their safety! It is my job!"

"Oh? You care all of a sudden? This is news to me. If you /really/ did what a good person would do. It would have been you out there nearly choked to death!"

With that Baker turned around and began for the door, opening it.

"What happened with him?"

"You stay the hell away from him Christina I mean it."

"Tell me."

Sighing longly he turned back around to face her. Not caring anymore if she caught how annoyed he was with her.

"You didn't what I did and what happened to that kid. He called himself the killing machine just like /you/ said."

"He really said that?"

"Yes. Breaking down right in front of my eyes those were the words he cried out. I hope you are happy you disgusting vile bitch."

Quickly turning back around, Baker slammed the door behind himself and went back over to his own floor.
Opening the door again, Damian walked in with Conner into his room and let him go. Quietly closing the door behind them he looked over to Conner.

Still being stoic and kept together for both of them, there was still concern reflecting in his brown eyes. He waited a moment as he looked over to him, his eyes looking down to his feet. Pushing out a silent sigh Damian finally gathered up all he could to speak out. Keeping his voice the same as before, calm, affable, and firm.

"Con? C'mon it's okay. It ain't healthy to hold it all in."

Conner only kept his eyes to the floor. However, feeling tears begin to flood the rims of his eyes again. Shaking all over again and trying his best to keep his composure but it was getting more and more difficult.

He still couldn't believe what he had done. The unreal feeling came back although this time it felt like a horrific nightmare he so desperately wanted to wake up from. Never in his young life could he imagine the feeling that he had right then. That he actually held a gun, shot, and killed someone. He had no idea how to feel right then.

Conner had to do it, but despite that, he still felt so awful. Like he was sick and numb. He didn't even have any of the energy to let all of it out. He just wanted to bury it all and not be seen ever again. He wanted to hide away from everything and everyone.

Finally, he used up all the energy he could to look up and over to Damian. Tears still streaming down his plump face. Wincing a little bit he hated seeing Damian sad as well. He knew he was doing his best to hide it for his sake but Conner could look past that. In his eyes, he was concerned and upset. Conner simply held out his arms to reach for him, and quickly Damian went over to him.

Wrapping him into a tight protective hug. Allowing Conner to cry in his shoulder.
He was still just a scared kid.

Damian kept his hold onto Conner and let him break down. Crying into his shoulder Damian rubbed his back and stayed as strong as he could. It hurt him to see Conner like this and he hated it so much, but he allowed it all to happen as he kept his own composure. He whispered to him that everything was to be okay.

It wasn't going to be any time soon but it would in time. He wasn't going to leave his side and would be there whenever he needed him.
Right then all Conner needed was for Damian to just be there and he got that without him having to say a single word. He kept his hold, not loosening it or anything. Conner for once didn't want to yell out, throw or hit anything.

He just wanted to stay there with Damian and allow himself to let out as much as he could. Everything was bearing down on him all at once. He just couldn't take much of it anymore and finally let himself break.

He had been building a shell of himself to the point where he hardly wanted to let himself be vulnerable. But it all failed and he was incredibly vulnerable and he didn't even care. Conner stayed put and held onto Damian and let everything out.

After a good while, Damian gently stepped back. Placing his hands onto Conner's shoulders and once again looking to him face to face. Conner caught himself thrown off guard. He breathed out in a long sigh. He was still shaken and vulnerable over the events of that day but would be lying if he said being there with Damian didn't make things seem just a little bit better.

"You alright?"

Conner nodded, placing his hands on Damian's resting on his shoulders. Gently removing them but not letting go of them just yet. That feeling washing over him again, he wanted to move closer to him. But, stayed where he was keeping his big hazel eyes on him. Just then Conner had remembered something, lightly furrowing his brows again. Letting go of Damian's hands.



"That.. that. Evaluation with the Executives! I have that next week, I am no mood to do that."

"Jones is literally making you do that? What the hell, no one else had to do that."

Conner sighed out roughly and shook his head. Once again it was his own little 'special treatment' thing. Rolling his eyes he groaned.

"I hate this! I just.... wanna get out of here or hide or something.."

"Then do it."

"No, I... I have to go. I just have to."

"What the hell is this evaluation anyway?"

"I don't know. Probably to have me fitted for my parts."

Now Damian rolled his eyes. Shaking his head as well he stepped back and sighed. Crossing his arms.

"That's just stupid and ridiculous!"

"I know! Trust me I do but... I have to go. I can't have any risk of getting kicked out or something."

Damian simply scoffed at that.

"Look, lemme think alone on this okay?"

"Of course."

Damian dropped his arms and went over to the door. But stopped and turned around to face Conner again.

"What is it?"

Damian paused a minute and kept looking over to Conner. Right before shaking his head and huffing out another sigh.

"Forget it. I'll see ya."

With that, he opened the door and headed out. Conner tilted his head to the side, curious about what it was Damian was thinking of or even going to do. He wanted to know but knew asking him was a lost cause as the guy was very secretive. Conner knew him better than the rest and knew that he could ask for months without ever getting an answer, so he let it go.

Moving over to clean up his room a bit before settling in for the rest of the night.
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