[ Kiara - Messy (stripped) ]
Just one word. Happy.
Right now, me and Joel are having some time together at the park and we're having a picnic together which is so much fun. I've been wanting this for a long time and now it's become true. I love spending time like this under the gorgeous big blue sky and with someone that I love.
"Why are you smiling?" Joel asks and I just shake my head nothing.
"Nothing. I just feel so much better to be out here rather than being stuck in the hospital all day long and keep doing the chemotherapy.." I said.
"It's for your own good too. I want you to be healthy and that's what makes me happy the most." He said.
"But what if I can't survive?" I asks him.
"You can't say like that. I know you strong and you will make it alright?"
"I don't know." I look down to my hands which looks so pale.
"Hey listen to me." He takes my hands and looks at me in the eyes. "If I ever lost you, of all people that would do it for me. It triggered all of my fears again. About losing you. It scares me, Adrienne. The thought of ever losing you kills me inside."
"But I told you before-"
"I know what you told me." He says. "But it doesn't matter what you believe, or that you know all the right things to say to make it better. You don't know for sure what will happen, Adrienne. The deceased could very easily come back and despite everything we do, all of the precautions we take it, it could kill you," He says and I can feel that my eyes start to water up. "We have to live in the moment remember?" He say and instantly get my attention again. "We need to make a pact, you and me right now. Will you make a pact with me?" I wipe my tears and nods my head.
"OK," I say. I am glad he is here to help me stay positive and not thinking about death.
"You know we can't control death." He say. "There's nothing either of us can do to avoid or to hold it off.call we can control is how we live our lives before it comes for us. So let's promise each other that we can hold true no matter what." I nods smile slimly at him.
"Thank you for always makes me feel better and saying all those things. I will always keep it in my heart. But what kind of pact that you want us to do?" I asks.
"Anything. Whatever we want from each other." He says and he then search something in his backpack and taking out a piece of paper also with one pen. He hands to me and take one for him too. "Here. You can write whatever you want from me and I will write what I want from you and maybe you can add something that we can do together later. Just anything in your mind." I looks at him and began to write everything in my head right now.
"Umm Joel, can I bring this to home and make a new one?" I asks and he stop writing then look at me.
"Well this is so messy. I want to make it more pretty and colorful." I said.
"Alright then. I can't wait to read what you write." He said.
After the picnic, Joel sends me home straight away because he afraid that I will be too tired which is not good for my condition. I'm in my room after eating dinner with my dad. Then I heard a knock before the door open by my dad. "You didn't sleep yet?" He asks.
"I didn't feel sleepy." I answer.
"Can I come in?" He asks and I nods my head. He walk and sit at the edge of my bed. "So did you had fun today?"
"Of course dad, I think this is the best day in my life." I smile at him.
"Woah you had so much fun I see. It's good then. I love seeing you happy like this." He said. "Well I don't want to disturb you but don't sleep too late because it's not good for you health alright?"
"Alright Sir." I reply and he come to me and kissed my forehead before walk out leaving me alone in my room. I then like twenty of papers and the pens that I have. I begin to write on it.
After a few hour of writing it, I finally done with it and feel so satisfied with my work. I wrote him a letter to make sure he's not missing me if I'm not in this world anymore.I smile looking at it and put it aside before I went to sleep.
The next Day
The weather today is not that cold and also not that hot. It just my favorite weather other that winter. I love winter and no other season can beat it because it is my favorite season of the year. I just love seeing snow all over the streets and roads. I wear a sweatshirt and leggings. This is my best clothes to wear when I'm staying at home.
Just then, I hear the bell. I can't move that fast because I'm on the wheelchair which is hard for me to move. So I just stay at the living room and wait for my mom to open the door and tell me who it is. I wait for a minute and then Joel walk in. I don't know why he kinda makes the surrounding hot as soon as he enter the living room. I've always thought guys with beanies are sexy, but the way he looks in his black designer jacket and a black beanie, dark jean and Doc Marten boots is making it looks more sexier.
"Hey love. How are you today?" He asks me and sit next to me.
"I'm okay but where were you from?"
"Umm home. Why?"
"It looks like you put lots of effort to dress like this." I said and can't stop looking at his handsome face,
"Well this is all for you. I'm glad you like it." I smile and peck a kiss on his lips.
"I really love it." I said. "Oh and I finished the thing that we did yesterday but can I make a rule for it?" I asks and he raise his eyebrows.
"Rule? What kind of rule?"
"Well you can't open the papers until anything happens to me." I said.
"Wait up. You said papers. Means that's not a piece of paper but more that one right?" I nods. "But why I can't open it ad soon as I get it?"
"Because if one day I'm not here anymore and you miss me, you can open the letters and read it. I hope that's gonna make you feel better." I said.
"I love you Adrienne. Please stay strong for you chemotherapy next week. I can't imagine if you're not here anymore. I can't even get to imagine how my live will be."
"I'm sorry but I just want you to be ready for any consequences that will happen in the future. We don't know what will happen. I love you too, Joel and always love you no matter what. Thanks you for always be here with me even though I'm not like before." I said to him.
"I will never leave you. Never."
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