I turned my eyes to look out the window. A beautiful garden was right in front. It made me want to go there and lie down on the freshly cut and watered grass. I wanted to look up at the sky and hope to see him. I wanted to ask him so many questions. Why did he leave me? Why didn't he fight back to stay alive? If not for me, at least for himself? But now what? Was he happy up there?
I shook my head. How can someone be happy up there even if it was heaven? He must be lonely.
I put my head on the desk and stared out at the garden.
It wasn't long before I drifted off to dreamland, a place where it was either heaven or hell for me.
I dreamt about him. I smiled. Then this was heaven. He smiled back at me and extended a hand in my direction. "I love you," he whispered to me. I was about to take it, anything to feel his skin on me after so many years.
Just as I was about to touch him, I was roughly pulled back into something hard. I looked up and it was Jesse. His eyes were glowing red and he glared at Jake with a manic grin on his face. It was scary. I was terrified.
In an instant, my heaven turned into a nightmare. Jesse didn't let go of me even though I shouted at him to do so.
Jesse pulled a gun out and I screamed at him to stop. I shook off his hand and jumped in front of Jake.
Jesse pulled the trigger anyway and the bullet came hurtling right at me. The bullet pierced through me and I waited for the pain but I felt nothing.
I slowly turned around and let out a deafening scream as I saw Jake lying on the floor, bleeding heavily from his chest area.
I sank down beside him and gathered him in my arms.
"Don't. Don't leave me again," I whispered to him.
He gave me a tiny smile as his eyes glazed with unshed tears. "Be happy. Don't cry because of me. I love you."
"I love you too." I said in between cries. "Don't leave me."
But he was already gone. Just like in every of my nightmares.
My eyes shot open and I saw the garden. Pulling my head away from the desk, I realised I was still in class, except it was empty now.
I wiped away the sweat formed on my forehead as tears began forming at the corner of my eyes.
It had been three years since Jake died at the hands of my psycho boyfriend, Jesse. But I still had to endure watching Jake die a thousand times in my nightmares. Rarely I got any good dreams of him.
I packed up my things in my bag and slung it over my shoulder.
Thank God this was the last class of the day. I was tired and sleepy. But I didn't want to sleep because I keep getting dreams with Jake in it. Although I must be happy that I at least get to see him in my dreams, but if the dreams turn into nightmares and result in me helplessly watching him die again and again, then no I don't want to sleep.
The hallways were empty. A few students lurked around in the corners looking eerie and giving off a bad vibe. I steered clear of them. The university was open to students till six in the evening. No one is allowed in after that. The gates close at six. I checked my watch it was five-thirty. So I had been sleeping in that classroom for more than half an hour.
I made my way to the dorm building, alone as usual. It was times like this when I missed Brooke. She was my best friend, and still is for me.
The last time I heard about her was that she and Brian made it to the same college and are happy together. I was no longer in touch with any of my high school friends and but I miss them a lot.
It was my fault that we lost contact with each other. Honesty, I was too ashamed of myself. I was sure they wouldn't want to see me anyways because if they really wanted to be friends with me anymore, they would've tried to reach out to me.
But it was fine. I didn't blame them for leaving me. No one would want to be associated with a girl who constantly thought about death and cried over her years long dead boyfriend who was killed by her psycho ex.
I wouldn't want to be associated with me either.
I reached my dorm room and opened the door. Just as I did, greasy green substance poured out from above on me. I was a little too shocked to react.
Laughter was heard from within the room. My roommate along with four of her friends were sitting huddled in a corner of her bed, a laptop open against the wall.
"Clean that up," she ordered and turned back to her laptop, still giggling with her friends.
I hated her. And her four friends. One of them was a guy who reminded me too much of Jesse as he looked me up and down. I shuddered under his stare.
I dropped my bag on my bed. I wasn't going to confront them. They've pulled these lame pranks on me a lot of times.
"Mail it to her," one of her friends said to her.
"Yeah, that way she'll agree." Another one added.
"Yes, I've sent about four pictures to her," my roommate said, sounding evil.
I knew they were up to no good.
"Play the video," the guy said.
Suddenly, the sound of water filled the room. I looked in the direction of their laptop and was astonished to see a girl from my class in the shower. She was completely naked and I recognised it was one of the girl's dorm shower. The girl in the video started bathing, seeming oblivious to being recorded.
"What are you doing?!" I shouted at them.
"What? Can't you see?" My roommate asked sarcastically.
"Why did you make a video of this?!"
"We needed someone to do that stupid project for our group. We had to do something."
"Let me guess. You're going to blackmail her to complete your project for you."
"You're smart. Your grades say otherwise."
"Why are you doing this? Can't you do the project yourself?! How can you video her while she's bathing. How would you feel if someone makes a video of you like that."
"No one will dare to, duh. We would've done the same to you but then we'd end up with an F in the project." The group roared with laughter.
I was so sick of these girls and this guy. They had no humanity in them. They didn't know how to respect someone's privacy. They didn't know that ragging was wrong.
"You guys are inhuman," I spat at them.
My roommate rose up from her seat and crossed her arms across her chest. "What did you say?"
I shrunk back from her sneer. I couldn't do anything to protect myself from them. I was overpowered. These girls were athletic, almost muscular. And the guy was a plain pervert. He was like Jesse. With him around it felt like Jesse was also there and it scared me.
I wanted Jake beside me, not these heartless people. He would have never allowed anyone to treat me like this. He would have treated me better.