This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
“Until the day I die, I’ll never forget those glassy, unblinking eyes.” I said, “I tell you now dear girl, there are some things that just stay with you! Like Dürer’s portrait of Krel – Gods! The look on that mans face, I almost feel constipated myself”
A shudder went through me as the image of that Nurembergian accountant crossed my mind, I could almost feel my sphincter clench in anticipation of creating trouble for me. The greatest war a man fights is with his own body, of that you can be certain!
“I understand sir! …I think…” said my new intern as she stumbled keeping up, “But what does that have to do with this?”
Leela was a bright young girl and had shown a certain…spark… in her writings, so I selected her. But it was clearly going to take a lot of work to bring that spark to the surface before I could even think about starting any fires!
“EVERYTHING and nothing Leela dear, everything and nothing. If you’re to be a Mathemagician, you need to remember that it’s all about knowing all and knowing nothing!”
With my usual flair I strode forth to the so-called ‘crime scene’, just barely avoiding a lovely little surprise left for my by the universe via one of it’s bovine agents. Frankly my morning had been troublesome enough without that contributing to it. Upon entering the theatre, my young protege gasped to a stop before hurrying to catch up, I must admit, I enjoy having younglings around, nothing quite like that sense of wonder to stoke the fires within oneself. As we strode down toward the stage I continued my analysis/lesson from where I had left off.
“For instance: Before us we have this Chevy Impala floating merrily over the stage, quite remarkable! Now while it makes a lovely addition and would be an inspired choice to use in their next performance of the Ramayan – (can you imagine Ram and Laxman using this to travel around and fight demons? Marvelous!) – I imagine that’s not what anyone was intending to do with it. Proof of this is that the good police-men have traced to be one missing for the past week from a drive-way in Paris, Texas. Splendid isn’t it?”
“But how did it get here? How is it floating? Why?” she blurted, all muddled and uncertain.
“Exactly! Now you are asking questions, but remember to ask as many as you can think of and if they don’t solve your problem – think of some more!”
“I’ll try Doctor…”
“Good girl! Now, look here, there’s surface damage to the body on the drivers side – combine that with the fact that the position is static and factoring in it’s position, height and engine being off, we have facts but no conclusion. BUT! Upon my inquiring via the police, the owner had the key and the car was parked for the night – no visible damage to the key-hole outside or inside and we can suppose that it was partially pushed (or pulled!) out of the regular flow of spacetime and as the Earth spun on it’s axis and moved around the sun as its right, well…”
“Well what?!” said Leela and the policemen who had gathered behind her simultaneously.
“Oh right! Well it’s clearly been frozen for just a few mere moments, locked in one position in violation of the all natural laws and is here only as a result of whatever held it in place letting go!”
“And the damage Doctor?”
“Oh that? That’s a side-effect, while it was out of sync with the rest of the universe (lucky thing!), the world passing it by must have been just close enough to sort of… graze it.”
I looked back at them all, pleased with my handiwork and deductions, only to be greeted by blank and confounded faces just about processing what I had said. It was not their fault and so I heaved a sigh, kept my stiff upper lip and carried on.
“Well that’s that gentlemen – and lady.”
“What is? What are we to do with it?” piped a slightly bright looking fellow from amidst the crowd.
“Oh the car! Yes, just leave it a while, whatever locked it is slowly fading, should crash back down in a few hours – maybe some cushioning? I’ll be in touch with the local Mathemagician in that neck of the woods and with a little luck, we’ll have our merry prankster in no time! Come along now Leela, we have much to do and little time to do it!”
Sammi Chan: THIS WAS AMAZING!!! My favorite part of this story was the slow build of Merlin and Arthur's relationship. Their relationship was rlly nicely fleshed out and so good :) The way that you handled the magic reveal was super enjoyable. I rlly liked the switching POVs. Good!Mordred was cute and I'm rl...
ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...
_JosephJacobson_: I don't understand why this has such low ratings. I really enjoyed it!I think that the whole idea behind the plot had something very special and that was something that I really enjoyed. It was new, unique. I think that some of the writing was a little strange in places but overall it made sense ...
MavisMcQueen: "To Live Again" is a well crafted, highly engaging, heart vibrating tale surrounding our favorite Elven King. The author will keep you engrossed until the very end and by that time you will feel so strongly for Clara and the other characters that you will never want it to end...like ever. Thrandu...
summerstone: Seriously this is one of the best books I've ever read. The plot is intriguing, I love the narrative style. Its very descriptive and unique, with minimal cliches. It makes for a great read and the sequels are amazing. Totally worth reading. ^^ That's me trying to be professional. But in all hones...
MegaRogueLegend666: I love this story so much. It's impossible to describe my excitement with each new chapter in words. The author has such a good writing style, very good descriptions of the fighting and character descriptions/emotions. the plot is also amazing! This fanfic could be a side anime show or novel ......
CookieMonster911: The story overall was an adventure that is appealing to any age. The way the characters develop adds a more human characteristic to the novel. The writing style itself is amazing because you can learn every character's thoughts and emotions. The awkward love triangle and jerk moments adds to the ...
Hawkebat: Playing both Kotor I & II and Swtor I found the story line interesting and it held me until chapter 35 Very good story and plot flow until then, very few technical errors. I felt that the main character was a bit under and over powered, as it fought for balance. The last few chapters felt too f...
FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"
Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."