Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Akshay D. would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

The Mathemagical Adventuring of Doc Patient

By Akshay D. All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Adventure

Blurb

Like magic? How about science fiction? Steampunk? Strangeness? Silly humour and amusing characters? Serious adventuring that doesn't take itself too seriously? Well come on in then and make yourself at home! Combining science and magic and a lead character with more than just an odd name, these tales call back to some of the grand pulp adventures while carving out a corner all their own to give you something fun and exciting!

Chapter 1: Doc Patient and the Chevy

“Until the day I die, I’ll never forget those glassy, unblinking eyes.” I said, “I tell you now dear girl, there are some things that just stay with you! Like Dürer’s portrait of Krel – Gods! The look on that mans face, I almost feel constipated myself”

A shudder went through me as the image of that Nurembergian accountant crossed my mind, I could almost feel my sphincter clench in anticipation of creating trouble for me. The greatest war a man fights is with his own body, of that you can be certain!

“I understand sir! …I think…” said my new intern as she stumbled keeping up, “But what does that have to do with this?”

Leela was a bright young girl and had shown a certain…spark… in her writings, so I selected her. But it was clearly going to take a lot of work to bring that spark to the surface before I could even think about starting any fires!

“EVERYTHING and nothing Leela dear, everything and nothing. If you’re to be a Mathemagician, you need to remember that it’s all about knowing all and knowing nothing!”

With my usual flair I strode forth to the so-called ‘crime scene’, just barely avoiding a lovely little surprise left for my by the universe via one of it’s bovine agents. Frankly my morning had been troublesome enough without that contributing to it. Upon entering the theatre, my young protege gasped to a stop before hurrying to catch up, I must admit, I enjoy having younglings around, nothing quite like that sense of wonder to stoke the fires within oneself. As we strode down toward the stage I continued my analysis/lesson from where I had left off.

“For instance: Before us we have this Chevy Impala floating merrily over the stage, quite remarkable! Now while it makes a lovely addition and would be an inspired choice to use in their next performance of the Ramayan – (can you imagine Ram and Laxman using this to travel around and fight demons? Marvelous!) – I imagine that’s not what anyone was intending to do with it. Proof of this is that the good police-men have traced to be one missing for the past week from a drive-way in Paris, Texas. Splendid isn’t it?”

“But how did it get here? How is it floating? Why?” she blurted, all muddled and uncertain.

“Exactly! Now you are asking questions, but remember to ask as many as you can think of and if they don’t solve your problem – think of some more!”

“I’ll try Doctor…”

“Good girl! Now, look here, there’s surface damage to the body on the drivers side – combine that with the fact that the position is static and factoring in it’s position, height and engine being off, we have facts but no conclusion. BUT! Upon my inquiring via the police, the owner had the key and the car was parked for the night – no visible damage to the key-hole outside or inside and we can suppose that it was partially pushed (or pulled!) out of the regular flow of spacetime and as the Earth spun on it’s axis and moved around the sun as its right, well…”

“Well what?!” said Leela and the policemen who had gathered behind her simultaneously.

“Oh right! Well it’s clearly been frozen for just a few mere moments, locked in one position in violation of the all natural laws and is here only as a result of whatever held it in place letting go!”

“And the damage Doctor?”

“Oh that? That’s a side-effect, while it was out of sync with the rest of the universe (lucky thing!), the world passing it by must have been just close enough to sort of… graze it.”

I looked back at them all, pleased with my handiwork and deductions, only to be greeted by blank and confounded faces just about processing what I had said. It was not their fault and so I heaved a sigh, kept my stiff upper lip and carried on.

“Well that’s that gentlemen – and lady.”

“What is? What are we to do with it?” piped a slightly bright looking fellow from amidst the crowd.

“Oh the car! Yes, just leave it a while, whatever locked it is slowly fading, should crash back down in a few hours – maybe some cushioning? I’ll be in touch with the local Mathemagician in that neck of the woods and with a little luck, we’ll have our merry prankster in no time! Come along now Leela, we have much to do and little time to do it!”

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

MegaRogueLegend666: I love this story so much. It's impossible to describe my excitement with each new chapter in words. The author has such a good writing style, very good descriptions of the fighting and character descriptions/emotions. the plot is also amazing! This fanfic could be a side anime show or novel ......

CookieMonster911: The story overall was an adventure that is appealing to any age. The way the characters develop adds a more human characteristic to the novel. The writing style itself is amazing because you can learn every character's thoughts and emotions. The awkward love triangle and jerk moments adds to the ...

Hawkebat: Playing both Kotor I & II and Swtor I found the story line interesting and it held me until chapter 35 Very good story and plot flow until then, very few technical errors. I felt that the main character was a bit under and over powered, as it fought for balance. The last few chapters felt too f...

jessiehs: This book had me hooked from the very beginning. To be honest, I wasn't sure I would like it based on the description, but I was very wrong. The way he overcame all of his childhood challenges and managed to help others was great. There were so many times the story had me on the edge of my seat. ...

BlakDreams: Wait is this over already?? I really love this story but I'm not sure, is this story already over?? Hm... if it's over I'm a kill myself cuz I loved it!! AGGHH!This story has a perfect storyline and everything I love itttt! Oh my god!

Tiffany Thomson: This story is not something I would normally pick up and read but I'm so glad I did, I wasn't able to put it down and my husband was yelling at me at 3am to put it down and go to bed (just waited for him to doze back off before picking it back up) I really hope Natalie brings out another book eit...

rudyoxborough46: An action-packed, mystical adventure awaits anyone wishing to read this novel. I’m amazed at how well you’ve managed to flesh out the characters in this book, and I hope to read more of your work.I’ve read books about goblins and elves and all that mumbo-jumbo before, and most accounts of these c...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

Olivia N J Hamel: I want this book. I love it so much. It is so enjoyable to read and to have a copy of this always, I would be very happy, to always be able to come back and look at it again.

More Recommendations

ArgyrisMetaxas: Thrilling story which builds layer ontop of layer. A few mis spellings every few chapters. What I found special was that it took a modern day problem and took it to its logical conclusion and plays this realism with gritting precision. I'm always on edge ready to shout from adrenaline. This is gr...

Dru83: This is the second or third time I've read this one and I just love it. It has just about everything you could ever want packed into one scifi story. It still has some parts that are a little rough in terms of grammar, punctuation, and word usage, but it's still an awesome story. I love how detai...

re8622: The Last Exodus quickly grabbed my attention. Almost as soon as I started reading the story, I couldn't put it down. I found that the ideas the author put forth were very thought provoking given the turmoil we have seen gradually rise over the last several years. I felt that I could understand th...

internathunal: I was held captive by your sense of style. I would love to see more from you. I enjoyed this immensely.

CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...