The Forbitten Flower

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Mother , the lady that was there but wasn’t at the time. I never got a hug fro this lady . Never brushed my hair. And barely spoke. I didn’t understand why until later own . She always went to appointment in wood hull hospital but I was small no one was was explaining it to me so I never bothered to get into it . All I know that I looked like her at least that was many people told me. My dad did everything the brushing of hair the clothing. I Hated it but had no choose .all I know my dad named me after her. Most of my strong features came from my dad . That is scary I didn’t want to be like him . He was scary. Anytime I’ll do something against the jehovah witness religion it would be more than discipline . I would sneak into dad and mom room to watch tv when he wasn’t looking . Mom would smirk at me but say nothing she would always be laying down. I would run when I hear my dads footsteps , I did not want to get cough to wasn’t aloud to watch tv.when I remember turning 11 and getting my period. It was weird I was nervous I had to call my dad for this I felt unconftable , but I didn’t have choise he was the only one there. So mom was in my life as a portrait . Until I entered foster care and I got brave and asked my dad. He responded with if I tell you I got to kill you I’m like what . Please tell me .

So my mom was raped at a young age by her own stepdad. Then again at work she use to drive trucks . So this traumatized her bad. My dad met my mom in a bad state of mind. Out of one of those raped occasions she had a baby . And my dad also had a child prior .

At this time when I heard this story I was left speechless just praying this doesn’t happen to me . I was not ready for this. They gave me up when I was born they couldn’t take care of me but got me back to be abusive . My brain when numb after that I just wanted a good life full of love I did t mean to be an inconvenience . But I wanted to be loved and have a normal life without being petrified.
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