When I was younger, I remember the first time I saw him. Maybe not the friendliest personality, but you could tell from a distance he had a good heart. There was a certain face he made that was an instant tell. I can’t even recall when or where it was, I just remember that look. The eyes of a child ready to take on the world head on, but would worry about stepping on a flower on the way. Only now can I put it into words the way I can, back then all I had was a feeling to go off of. Every second I wish I could go back to the Edge. A place where rules and boundaries didn’t really apply. A place we made our own without the world jamming stupid ideals or bullshit down our throats telling us how to live our lives. Being young is a privilege I never fully took advantage of. Maybe if I stayed young just a little bit longer, I would have stayed myself. Trapped in an endless loop of manipulation and lies damning generations to come. I tell myself there has to be a different way, but I won’t do anything about it. I’m out of options. Once a life is taken, there is no returning it. I know now how I could have avoided all of it, if only I had known then. I’m not sure if this is what having your life flash before your eyes is like. Maybe it’s my mind rolling through all of my regrets on decisions I thought I had a say in. I just wish it didn’t have to end it like this. I’m sorry brother. Forgive me, for you know I can no longer hold back. Not for myself, but for those who deserved more.