It had to have been a week since I had been in here. The first couple of days I was mad and felt justified but as the days went on I felt stupid. Why the hell did I not let my father help me?
They brought me little food, pieces of bread and cheese, and a large jug of water. The first two days when the guards came with food I stood there defiant, slinging every insult I could think at them, and throwing the food in there face. After an empty belly for three straight days I found my common sense and started actually eating. Today being day seven when they brought the food I would gulp it down before they feet hit the stairs. By day ten I plead for more food but my pleas fell on deft ears.
If I had been a full werewolf it would not be this hard for me. This is the portion they give all chained wolves to keep them weak, but they can live with little food and still function. I may have wolf tendencies like the speed, the strength, the agility but I was still a human and with little bread an a chuck of cheese I was slowly starving.
The water helped, thank god that wolves had to have a lot of water. Sometime I would drink the whole jug in one sitting, over a gallon, for the feeling of fullness in my tummy but it never lasted nearly long enough. one time I drunk so much I threw it up. I looked at the contents of my stomach on the floor in sadness wishing they were back in my body so I could fill full.
The days passed slowly and after my two weeks mark I stop counting. The mess of throw up was still on the ground uncleaned. It mixes well with other messes I made down here. They still bring water and the chuck of bread and cheese when they remember, the last time they waited three days. My lips are crack and peeling and my hair was falling out in clumps. I doubted I looked human anymore.
I pushed myself to the cell door days ago along with the water, so that would not have to move so much. my body hurt when I moved now. I heard the door open and the guards came but this time with another body. It was a man, he was bloody and beaten, if was in a fight you could clearly tell he was not the winner. He was thrown into the cell next to mine.
“Hey” I said gripping the cell “any food today, I didn’t had my food today” the guard kicked me, making hit the floor bleeding. “since you think your so special, maybe its time you have no water either. A day with out water would not kill you” I started to cry. I heard them laughing at my distress up the stairs.
“hey” the guy said in the next cell “you don’t look so good. I’ve been in this place a couple of times, I never seen a wolf look like you ” “I’m not a wolf” I whispered “I’m not a fucking wolf” I yelled to the stairs that lead to freedom “I’m half.” I managed as I slowly got up and leaned my back to the wall.
“shit, what the fuck did you do” he asked
“I called the three most powerful wolves cocksucker” I said smiling “what about you?”
“I got caught with the alpha daughter” he said smiling
“that’s crime now?”
“its a crime when she found her mate. she’s to young to feel anything yet and having him around just creeps her out so enter me.” We both laugh together.
The days passed, I had not seen my water. It felt like weeks, but it was probably only been a day or two. Leo, the guy in the next cell keeps me company most of the time but I sleep more now. I stopped searching for food or water, I honestly didn’t have the motivation to drink or eat anymore.
“so that’s when this whole row of warriors comes down and see me wearing a nighty. They said they thought I was rouge, and I said no just an idiot” Leo said laughing and slapping his leg.
I smile but I don’t have the energy to laugh anymore
“Leo I have to sleep now”
“Charlie you’ve been sleeping to long, each time I don’t think your going to wake up; I keep telling these ass fucks to get you some more food but they are not listening.”
“its fine, I’m fine, I’m just tried”
“at least eat your food today, it came and you didn’t touch it.”
“it hurts to much right now Leo. I can’t, I’ll eat it when I wake up, but I need to sleep okay”
he sighs “okay, but you will eat your portion and mine when you wake up, no questions” he smiles, worry in his eyes
“I promise” I said laying down
I could hear Leo voice in the distance calling me. it felt like my world was shaking, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to. This was the place I visited in my dreams as I slept in the dungeon. I felt happy here. I felt full in more ways than one. My mother came to me here.
She came this time with a worried expression
“you’ve been here to long” she said. She was in a yellowish sundress her back hair flowing down her back. Her milk chocolate skin glowing and radiant.
And when I was here, I was not covered in feces and puke, but clean and energize. I smiled “I like it here; it gorgeous and I can see you”
“Charlie you can not stay here. this is only a resting stop. you have to go back”
“why can’t I come with you?”
“your not ready”
“don’t you want me with you?”
“no” she simply said matter-of-factly. “not now honey” she said trying to place her hand on my shoulder, but I could never fill her touch. This wasn’t anything surprising, the first time I saw her I tried to hug her but did not feel her.
“I want you with me when your old and fulfilled. when we can be up here and watch your kids and grandkids, like I watch you”
“you watch me?” I said sadly think she would be disappointed in me
“yes my heart, you are amazing.”
“I am” I said surprise
“Yes but you can be so much more. I know you miss me. I miss you to, but you have to live with out me”
“that’s what I have been doing ”
“no, you've been surviving, not living. you have a mate. why not work things out with him?”
“I don't want him, I like being alone, that's me”
“no that was us, but it time for you to find your place. and it's not here and it's not alone”
“you have to go soon, I could feel them pulling you back. let me hold you for a while until they do”
I did not fill her arms, her embrace, and as chess as it sounds, I think I could feel her love.