Learning To Love Again

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Chapter 9

This week were normal and this day had a different vibe because Lincoln wasn’t acting the same and I had the same feeling of something happening like I had when we were taken from my parents the third time but this time I had this feeling I knew what it was and I knew what to do about it and I made the decision to just let it be and see what this day is doing to offer and just to take it in. I was on the couch with Cole when Lincoln left to go to his day camp while I was waiting for mine and Cole’s taxi to pick us up. The room was quiet when I heard the taxi driver honk the horn. This day was already different to me then I saw Cole looking at me with a different look in his eyes and I thought it was my fault that his was looking at me different but I said to myself that I should look at this day with a different perspective for Cole’s sake so I put my bag on and gave Cole his and we went in the taxi then me and Cole talked about the field trip that was going to happen today. We reached the center and we hung out till it was time to go and before I knew it we were told to go on the bus because we were going in ten minutes and we all listened we were on the road before we knew it and we made it to the place and it has Things to climb, inflatable things and other things to do and James was here too. Me and Cole hanging out and I could never forget when we got there Cole looked at me and smiled then I smiled back not a fake smile but a real smile for the first time in what seemed like forever. This was a day that I picked myself up 100 percent because I didn’t see Cole hurting I seen him laughing that wasn’t forced and I was nervous of doing something wrong and paige watching but today she wasn’t watching my every move so I let myself be adventurous and be like no one ever changed me and show my peers that nobody changed me in a way that left me emotionally scarred and scared to be adventurous andhave fun. This was the first time in forever my fear wasn’t present and we were told we could anything we wanted and I watched Cole for a second and he asked me to play with him and I accepted not pushed him away like Lincoln would do and I just let myself have fun not being nervous if I would do anything wrong because everyone makes mistakes and if I made one I wasn’t alone. Lunch break came before I knew it and I had a hot dog sandwich with extra mayonnaise. Cole came to where I was and looked at me and I told him the best way to enjoy the sandwich was to open the sandwich and eat the meat. The two hours after lunch went fast and before I knew it we were going back to the center. Round twenty minutes into the drive one of counselors notice that she forgot her wallet in at the place where we went today and we went back for her to retrieve her wallet she left behind. The ride to was fun because we were making bracelets and listening to music and this was one day to remember because it was the first time I had a bit of actual fun since I was taken from my parents when I was seven years old. I made it look like I was having fun ninety-five percent of the time because I didn’t want to have the question of why asked to me and when I was nine it was why I wasn’t telling every single problem to my parents like my siblings did. We made it back to the center and we all got off the bus and then went into the center to get the stuff from our lockers. When I was going into the building I seen Lincoln and I was clueless on why he was here because Me and Cole later than usual and Lincoln’s day camp was about twenty minutes away. I was a little nervous about what was going to happen next but I didn’t let it show. I followed Lincoln to a mini van and he nods at me signaling that this was the taxi that we were suppose to go into. Cole did the same thing and was told his taxi was over where a social worker was and he followed. The driver of the taxi told me and Lincoln that we were going to my parents house a day early for our weekend visit. I didn’t know how to feel this time because last time it only lasted a few weeks. I was clueless on how to react and the hour taxi ride Me and Lincoln were drawing on paper towels with a pen to pass the time. When we got to my parents house and it was like I was dreaming but I wasn’t not the bad kind of it but the kind when you think your having a lucid dream and you try tapping yourself to wake yourself up but your not dreaming because you feel you taps. I walked into the house with my garbage bag in hand. I was honestly clueless on if my parents would know me and this is why I am nervous. When I walked in and my dad hugged me and a hug is what I needed. I needed a hug because instead of hugs from Paige I got slapped and having a hug on a Thursday afternoon felt like I just entered a new world what I was loved not hurt. My thought about Cole and where he was and he told me about a nice person that looks after him then I prayed for him and for god to see him though like he seen me though so far. I took my clothes out of my bag and organized them and put them away in my dresser. A hear someone saying my name and it was David. He asked me how my day was and I said interesting and then he asked me why and I told him what went on left out the getting hurt part for now. Lincoln and my dad are in the living room and I sit on the couch next to my father. My dad says hi and I say hi back.

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