Learning To Love Again

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Chapter 8

Cole was excited for “pie” that was actually shepherd’s pie than to his surprise the “pie” didn’t have fruit or anything sweet inside it had meat, vegetables, and potato. I completely understand cole’s confusion because The last time Cole have seen pie was a weird tasting lemon meringue pie that the three of us were forced to eat one time and of course Lincoln liked it and I forced myself to eat and cole didn’t like it but forced himself to. I always forced myself to eat the things I disliked because I was afraid that I would get hit because that was always holding me back from doing anything different. Cole was held back by Lincoln a lot and I was the one that didn’t hold him back because I wanted him to trust me but If I never let him do anything he wouldn’t trust me at all and Cole ended up trusting me. Cole began to open up to me and I opened up to him this was the first time I opened up in years and honestly think I opened up to Cole because he gave me time to not like the others I met before him. Cole learned the method of not getting in trouble off me and I knew Lincoln wouldn’t teach him because he was afraid he would get in trouble but on this subject I didn’t have that much fear because if I had a tip that would save him from a few hits and If I didn’t tell him I wouldn’t have been completely honest with him and he wouldn’t have trusted me as much as he did but Cole trusted me more than Lincoln and I couldn’t blame him I wouldn’t trust the person that held me back either. An average day at Paige and Dylan’s in the summer included getting dressed in summer clothes it didn’t matter if it was freezing its summer so we had to wear summer clothes for Paige’s reason’s not mine. Me and Cole went to a day camp that taught different skills and many things that I didn’t know how to do and the camp instructors did a very good job on teaching the skills and we had a good bit of fun and being at day camp wasn’t boring anymore it was an escape from Paige’s ways. We got a sandwich every day though but on Fridays we had pizza and cake to celebrate the end of the week because each week had a theme and we had groups and that was fun. Lincoln went to a camp the community ran in the park and the recreation complex that me and him went to last year that was horrible. I don’t feel even a tiny bit sorry for him because he didn’t ever feel sorry for me so why would I have any sympathy for a person that hated me and when Cole didn’t obey his commands of ways to apparently not get in trouble he told Lincoln that he hated him and I didn’t ever say that I hated Lincoln but his ways aren’t the smartest and he turned the method somewhat sideways while teaching cole the method to Lincoln somewhat sideways by that I don’t mean he told him in a language he didn’t understand I mean If I told him to be silent when Paige was around he would tell him to talk to Fairlee-Bree and cole caught Lincoln’s lies pretty early and didn’t believe him because we were silent when Paige was around so why would it would be the best for cole to be trying to start conversation with me and get himself in more trouble. I hoped Cole wouldn’t believe him and he didn’t I couldn’t be more relieved because if Cole listened to Lincoln who knows where he would be. Cole always talked to me when we were in the van going to day camp that was like heaven on earth. The people at the day camp are just so nice and they don’t treat me like an object they treat me like a person and they want to be my friend and I was happy about this to be honest it was the first time since I was seven years old. I met new people that became friends and this was different but it was good. I always remember a quote “She was unstoppable not because she didn’t have failures or doubts because she continued to despise them” this quote made me feel less like a failure for having past that I can’t erase even if I tried to be completely honest with myself I wouldn’t be able to it is like I’m trying to get my past out of my thoughts but it was like the thoughts were trying to get me over and over again.

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