The Pains of Wandering

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Chapter 10

A verminous Zionist

[The five foreheads were still sweating, more than before, after they completely revealed what is inside the broken bleeding chests of the unspoken stories!

But before the car would reach its final destination and stop and the doors would open, the fifth forehead: the driver’s forehead went back to its first story.. one last time. It looked at the ashtray, then at the mirror, then to the right, then to the left, then at the forehead of the owner of the elbow.. the intellectual one! It looked at all of these before it looked forward.. after looking backwards, as if it were looking for something missing..!]


Here we are.. finally.. at the outskirts of the city, a few meters away.. roughly from the railroad intersection with the main road at the gates of the beloved city of Zarqaa..

Strangers.. with five foreheads talking on our behalf: us.. their owners. They were telling numerous stories about the oppression that we live through.. there..

Five strangers.. squished inside that vehicle. The end was near- the final destination and the face of the city.

Five strangers were squeezed.. squeezed until.. doomsday58.. and needed to use the bathroom.

A few minutes before arrival..

Before the final section of this tiring trip and the beginning of another trip..

When the owners of the five foreheads would go back to life..

In a different resurrection, but before any of us left the car..

I remembered.. we forgot the revelation of our fifth: the pleading of our fifth friend: the forehead of our friend whom we did not hear from!

I went ahead and asked it, but.. no answer!

Its answer was just the echo of the letters of my question nothing more!


- We did not hear your story?!

* (…)!

* Excuse you.. you did not hear.. I am asking you: what about your pleas?!

* (…)!

* What is the matter with you, our sister in pain?

* (…)!

* We have said quite a lot.. we complained about our pains.. what about you? You are like us: you sweat!

* (!)

* Just say something!

* (!!)

* Reveal what’s troubling you!

* (!!!)

* What’s the silence for?!

* (!!!!)

* What’s behind this burning echo of silence?!

* (!!!!!)

* And these different marks.. and the different color that you have?!

* (!!!!!!)

* Is it also a pain of the grey wandering?

* (!!!!!!!)

* Come on sister.. for God’s sake answer me: it is all so, is it not?!

* (!!!!!!!!)

* It could be the daily barefooted struggle for bread!

* (!!!!!!!!!)

* It is that.. without a doubt.. this bleeding sweat is the answer!

* (!!!!!!!!!!)

* What is it then?!

* (…)!

* I am going to keep on asking.. and wandering: is he another vermin like them?!

* (…)!

* What is the silence for?!

* (!!!!!!!!!!!!)

* Don’t you have a story just like the rest of us?!

* (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


The five foreheads were still sweating.. dripping more than ever after they have revealed what is in their heavy bleeding hearts because of the weighty burden they have carried.

Before the vehicle stopped.. permanently, and before it opened its salvaging doors, the driver’s forehead went back to its initial fiasco.. one last time! It looked at the ashtray, then.. at the mirror, to the right, to the left, then.. to the back again, to the forehead of the owner of the condescending dark skinned elbow, as if it were looking for something missing!

The same answer: the gray ash..

Gray.. there is no difference in the color..

Gray.. nothing more!


It was not a coincidence, nor was it a miracle of this time, and it was not even strange that on the driver’s mirror- any driver- we looked completely alike on its other side. It was natural.. of course, that we resembled each other with our illusions and sorrows.

We could differ in our reasons of sadness.

In the details of the journey..

In the purposes of its grand goal!

In the shapes and colors of the wandering woes and the echo’s wave of terrible pain!

Nonetheless, the core/ the title/ the burden: is one/ original/ similar for us all: it is the national pain!

As for the tearful singing, that was just a reflection of the side stories we referred to because of the long ride.. nothing more! As a matter of a fact, this was not the central issue, indeed, therefore, it does not need a just solution that would make a friend happy and an enemy furious!!

And y e a s s s s… y e s!!!

That was my excellency: me: their fourth:

P h i l o s o p h i z i n g but the right version is: p h i l o p h o s i z i n g.. a utopian degradation..

And.. of course.. there is still:

What is behind the wandering!

And the burning coal in one’s self! And.. (that is it)!!!


At last.. the doors opened.

Here we are, now, standing on the parking lot’s boiling asphalt.

(Here we are.. we have arrived… this is the end of the route!!

* Thank you.. Stay, with God’s protection..

* You are welcome.. goodbye..)

I was.. the last to get out.. to stand on his two feet, after all that had happened. I have not, though, left my place yet: my seat in the Sarfeess, just as our driver has not moved yet.. towards a different journey..

With other passengers..

Who have different stories.. about different vermin!!

And just as soon as I was about to leave the car, I was stopped, or you should say I was taken aback as soon as I heard the voice of the owner of our friend the fifth forehead: the driver’s forehead whom we did not know, and now it is time that we get to know!

This is it.. then: the fifth plea. Without a doubt:

(Indeed.. this is the end of the route!

The end of the gray pains of wandering!

*Sigh*

(I was the watcher and I came at dusk/ and I cried tears that can form a troop)!!!

*Sigh*

It is all pain (!) all wandering (!) all gray !!!)

- What did you say?!

Then you were with us the whole journey.. is that right?

* What? Yes.. yes.. don’t worry.. nothing matters!

* You were not a contributor- that is what I thought of you.. why didn’t you answer me then?

* Answer what! What do you want me to tell you, brother?

* Anything.. your story.. you definitely have a story.. why wouldn’t you tell it?

* It’s just the struggle to get bread, brother, nothing more!

* Even if that is what you say, we are all that guy.. the betrayed hardworking guy.. so what is new in your old?

* Yes.. yes.. I am with you in all you say, but I am not.. in every way shape or form, like the rest of my colleagues, the other drivers who like to babble with the passengers. I am forced to listen a lot to what they say..

That’s the reason I was not, as you said, a contributor. No.. in fact, I have listened to most of what was said. Forcibly.. for sure.. meaning it was not my intention.. so I had no say in this!

And now.. what did you want me to tell?

* Ohh.. now you remembered? Just now.. to tell.. like we all said and told what we had!

* Were you all saying things like the others?

* (…)!

* You were screaming, bleeding, sobbing, crying, revealing, telepathing,.. without words!

* ..(!!!)

* You were dying.. after death, you were complaining.. silently!

* ..(!!!)

* It’s okay.. I will talk like you all talked, or.. as I was asked to: I am going to reveal.. but.. two words only, not summarizing because of the little time we have, but because my story is just two words nothing more!

* Is this a song and not a revealing?

* This is what I have.. so buy it and let me go my way!

* No.. no.. and after all the work I had to do to convince you.. please give me what you have.. I am all excited ears, and quickly please!

* I.. have sold my house, yesterday. Four thousand. After it had cost me forty thousand. Only.. because it is possessed by: a verminous Zionist!!!)

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